Funny jokes

A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"

What do you call a beautiful woman in Poland?
A tourist.

Why don't women have umbrellas?
Because it doesn't rain in between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

friends Maverick,Atul and deepti lived in a flat on the 110th floor.One day the lift was out of order & they had to climb the stairs to go to 110th Floor.
To pass time & not get bored,
they decided that deepti should tell a War story, atul a Funny story & maverick a Sad story.


deepti tells a story & they climbed to 50th floor.

atul tells a funny story & they climbed to 109th floor.

Now maverick had to tell a very Sad story.
He said,
"I've left the Door key in car"

While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, theres nothing down here

Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

Teacher : what do you call a person who cannot hear
bunta : you can call him whatever you want he cant hear anyway...

Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks Santa why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye

Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.

A Chinese man took his pregnant wife to the hospital 4 delivery. The wife hwevr gv birth to a black baby. The Chinese man hu ws shocked named him: SOME TIN WONG

a husband and his wife are in deep sleep, when the wife murmured in sleep hey, go out, my husband has come. Suddenly the husband jumped out of the window and ran away.

newtons 1 law: every book is un state of rest or coverd with dust untill n unlesss intrernal or external semester appears!

Alcohol contains female hormones
PROOF: after drnkng....
1male talk unnecessarily,
2.become over emotional
3.drive badly
4.stop thinking
5.Fight 4 nothing!

RELATIONSHIP:
1. Its important to hav a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans & has a job.
2. Its important to have a woman who can make u laugh.
3. Its important to have a woman who u can trust & doesnt lie.
4. Its important to have a woman who is good in bed & likes being with u.
5. Its very, very important that these four women dont know each other

DEFINE AGONY
Its lik a One Armed Man
Hanging at d Edge of a Cliff by his only arm
& his Butt Devastatingly Itchy
DEFINEDEATH
He Scratched It...!