Funny jokes

A beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ???
* So, Which Platform are you Working on ???....

What will u call a person who is leaving India??
* Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

What will u call a person who leaves India,but doesn't travel much??
* Hindustan Lever Ltd (Limited).

Once upon a time in an elephant school some loafer elephants were sitting on a wall.
A sexy female elephant passes by. what do the loafer elephants say about her?
socho socho nahin yar aplog nahin bata sakte.............
* 36000 - 24000 - 36000 !!!

The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
* Dil Chhata Hai...

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?
Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

"Do you drink?" the girl's father inquired of his prospective son-in-law."
"First tell me whether it is a question or an invitation" asked son-in-law.

Wife - A great disaster was averted today. When my mother was passing from below the clock, it fell. Had she been late by a few seconds, the bloody thing would have fallen on her.
Husband - "I know this useless clock is always slow!!"

A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"

What do you call a beautiful woman in Poland?
A tourist.

Why don't women have umbrellas?
Because it doesn't rain in between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

friends Maverick,Atul and deepti lived in a flat on the 110th floor.One day the lift was out of order & they had to climb the stairs to go to 110th Floor.
To pass time & not get bored,
they decided that deepti should tell a War story, atul a Funny story & maverick a Sad story.


deepti tells a story & they climbed to 50th floor.

atul tells a funny story & they climbed to 109th floor.

Now maverick had to tell a very Sad story.
He said,
"I've left the Door key in car"

While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, theres nothing down here

Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.