5 things not to do when you find a vampire.
1.sing the song Bhooth hoon Main
.
2.Nice accessories huh?where did yu buy from?
.
3.Take a video and send it to RGV
.
4.go check the feet
.
5.invite for a coffee.
Five best uses of Time travel !!
1) For a money minded/poor guy:- Moving to the day of result of lottery to know the winning number
.
2) For a scientist:- Moving to the day, when Einstein and newton discovered something, and stealing their work and name it on his own. Chalo history mein naam to aayega issi bahaane
.
3) For a student:- Just skipping his/her exams and results day
.
4) For Police:- Moving in future to check out the illegal activities so that either they could win a medal for that by stopping ir or just catch the victim predictably to earn some extra money AKA RISHWAT
.
5) Best use for a Married guy:- Go back to his wedding day and stop the disaster from happening
Five things so you should not say on a date
How can someone eat so much!
The waiter looks so handsome.
Stop eating and say something.
Choori,kaatein se nai khaana aata hai.Haath se kha lu?
5 thngs u'll find in all saas bahu serials...
* their alwayzz remain a vamp choti bahu
* the elder son dies nd again comes back frm nowhere nd dies again nd again comes
* a lot of advertisement in between... so tat the serial can b stretched for a long time
* Ekta Kapoor as the director or producer
Five things to do on lazy sunday !!
1)Try picking your nose and show it to others :|
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2) Start blank calling random unknown people and be ready to get hit back
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3) Pure din ke liye har line ke aage kuch words laga do. Like --' Khatiya mein'. So it turns out be KHATIYA MEIN
.
4) Watch India TV and curse your date of birth for that
.
5) Last but not least,Call Nasa, that you saw an Alien. And when they ask where, tell them India TV :|
5 Fabulous Things To Do Before You Die
1.Invent Something
We live in a fast paced society where gadgets exist for virtually every task – but occasionally you find that nothing exists to do exactly what you want to do. Instead of ranting and raving, why not try your hand at inventing it? ust remember, as soon as you have completed your invention, patent it and give it a truly awesome name. Who knows, you may even get rich off the idea.
2.Stay In The Best Suite
This is something you have to do at least once in your life. Save up some money and book a night at the poshest hotel in your city – and book the most expensive suite. While you are there make sure you saved enough cash to tip well and to enjoy all of the benefits of the hotel – like fabulous food, massages, pool, and spa. There is nothing grander than waking up in a magnificent penthouse suite with a hangover. Just remember, if you steal the bathrobes you may find an unexpected bill turning up on your credit card the following month.
3. Fly A Plane
4. Go To A Film Premiere
This one is an easy task for most people living in Mumbai, but not so easy for people in other states and countries. But it is worth the airfare to get to a premiere if you can afford it.
5. Join A Flash Mob
Flash mobs have become a worldwide phenomena in which a large group of unrelated people all converge in one place, perform an unusual action for a short time, and disburse again.
Five cool things that every youngistaan should have.
2. A cool ray-ban avatar shades.
3. A sony PSP.
4. A branded item of APPLE
5. Hero honda Karizma
things to do during examination ,if you don't know anything...
2.keep asking "sir,whats the time now?
3.sir,i need a help ..can you please tell me what is this?
4.take a nap
5.or say may i go to the loo?
5 Things To Do With A PC When You Have No Internet
2. Delete programs you don’t use.
3. Unplug your PC, take the cover off and clean out the dust
4. Write your next blog post.Write to a text file and save it and format it when connection is on.
5.Write down your logins and passwords for all your sites, blogs, email accounts, Adsense, affiliate programs, where you purchased your domain names, etc. All that information is the key to your business.
5 things U should say to Osama 2 jack him up!
2. Mere paas kasab hai tere paas kya hai.
3. Chal bata hafeez culprit hai ya nahi....warna media walo ko bata dunga ki tu gay hai.
4. Osama uncle 1 aad bombs do na.
5. Kya yeh sach hai ki apka beta aapko MC BC ki gaali de ke ghar se bhaag gaya tha....?
PS: DHIKCIAW!
5 thngs u should do b4 goin into a gang war
* call dharam paaji ( kyunki apne toh apne hote hi hai )
* call krish ( yeh bas jinko udh udh ke marne ka shaukh hai unke liye )
* call prosenjit - a tollywood actor ( kyunki yeh jab koi gadi ko laath marta hai....woh
* call KRK or Rakhi Sawant ( inko toh log dekh kar hi bhaag jaayenge )
Five unusual stuffs usually done after drinking !!
.
1) Found sleeping on toilet seat of either home or public toilet.
.
2) Found dancing and talking with invisible personalities.
.
3) Turned as the biggest SAINT in the world who is always right.
.
4) Crying out for a dead cockroach and laughing out on a funeral just in mirage that the dead person is his/her wife/husband
.
5) Last but not least, person doing all or any of the stuff, found in Asylum for rest of his life
Things you should do to become a daily soap actress
1)Apply oodles of glycerine on your face on DAILY basis
2)Stop going to the gym,you dont need to be ultra sexy to be a tv actress.
3)Experiment with colors...for example,with a blue colored saaree,use chrome yellow eye shadow and silver lipstick...n likewise...
4)Try to say same lines/words twice-thrice-....or n-number of times
5)Stand in front of a mirror and make weird faces and talk to yourself.
5 things himesh rashammiya will do 5 years from now...
1.selling caps in da market
2.as a RJ...
3.SELLING FISHES [OHHHHHH HUSSURRR LELO LELO TAZE TAZE FISHES]
4.or sitting vella at home shouting mereko chaiyee ke tere ghar mein roti kapda ho
5.become a wig maker...
five things not to do while driving
1.Reading for the exam.
.
2.changing clothes if you are late to office.
.
3.putting makeup (girls) and Shaving ( boys)
.
4.using orkut while driving.
.
5.Prepare a video for Mishmash..
5 things u should do in an examination hall
* be their before time (else exam se pehle desk main formulas likh nahi paoge )
* wear trouser or shirts wid hidden pockets ( nahi toh chit rakhne main dikkat koga )
* pehle se hi apne baaju waale ke saath settin kar lo
* frequently go to the toilet ( waha pe chits...books kuch na kuch zaroor milenge )
* never follow the first 4 rulezzz ( else u'll get rustigated frm ur skul or coll )
Five things which every man say to girl while doing Sex
1)Seriously,You are so beautiful from deep.
2)Please try to breath through your nose.
3)Terko majaa brabar aa rah hai naa.
4)WTH is this Cross here.
5)Please do it little bit fast.. pleaseeeeeeeeee
Five things not to say to Fantastic Five's host
1)You always gives five points...why not four...six..Sadde teen..Poone char
2)kya aap fifth class fail hai
3)If Ayushmann is fantastic VJ then what abt Rhea.?..Is she fantasy?
4)Hey,Whats your sixth point or you forget to say it?
5)Who is permanent VJ of this show?
Five things which is impossible for MTV people
1)MTV appoint Devarshi as host of Roadie.
2)Bumpy is on Dieting
3)Raghu can't used Comb/Shampoo/Mehandi/Sarso ka tel even if he wish.
4)MTV Webmaster reveals his precious identity.
5)MTV is going to make a new show GAYVILLA
5 things a mom doesn't wants to listen:
1. Mom i am gay.....but therez a girl i like called Kutribai.
2. Mom i saw daddy's Judwaa today.
3. Why did papa on the phone said to me ''darling mujhe e-mail kiya karo, meri biwi mera mobile trace karti hai''
4. Mom how much do you love me? Do you love me enough that you wouldn't beat me if i say that i just burned your saree while ironing it.
5. Mom maine bhaag kar shadi kar li hai
Five weird but possible way to die !!
.
1) Accidentally fallen and drowned into a big hump of liquid cement and not to be seen by anyone :|
.
2) SAW style. Ripping of the body parts both public and private ones
.
3) Freezing yourself in a big ice cube just for the sake of Guinness book of records but forgot to call any of the officials for that :|
.
4) Indian style. Walking on street, suddenly a big pot hits you from the top. Later on found that, a woman threw her dustbin from the top. :|
.
5) Last but not least. Death because of laughing or tickling. Haste haste mar jaaye saste
5 thngs normally asked/told by the seniors durin ragging period ... wid answers
* laugh as a sine curve ( mereko trigonometry nahi aata )
* propose tat gal ( aap bolo toh main saari ladkiyo ko propose kar du... )
* look at the third button of ur shirt ( sir tie hai ... 3rd button dikh nahi raha hai )
* kisi bhi ladki ke saath nahi ghumega tu ( sir, m not a gay like u )
5 celebrities who will never get married
1. Salman Khan (some technical problem)
.
2.Tabu (age Problem)
.
3.Nauman Seth(Though he is not celebrity) because he is No-Man
.
4.Darwin(our community celebrity)
.
5.KRK ( his dream is that till he dont reach to the heights of Big B he wont marry)
P.S: hope you all liked this.
Cheers !!!
My Nephew- Sister's son, Ajay had a visit to us on diwali vacation. That night he came to me & we this is what followed.
Smart Ajay: Uncle, can I ask you a riddle?
Me: OK
Smart Ajay: How was the rat able to fly?
Me ( ponders for a while) : Uhmm...Don't know..Why don't you tell me?
Smart Ajay: Because it ate Lite Biscuits.
Me: Oh! ( I don't watch too many advertisements anyway)
Smart Ajay: How was the snake able to fly?
Me: (Smiling triumphantly): Because it ate the Parle lite Biscuits?
Smart Ajay: ( Shaking her dead in dismay) Nooo! Because it ate the rat.
Me : Oh Ok! ( That was easy, I should have guessed. Silly me)
Smart Ajay: Ok, now guess how was the eagle able to fly?
Me: That's easy, because it ate the snake?
Smart Ajay: ( Laughing) Wrong again! It flew because it had wings!
Me: .............................( Stumped)....
Have you ever travelled without ticket.. in a Train??
This blog is all about travelling without ticket in a Train. How to travel without ticket in a train? There requires nothing to travel without ticket, not even a ticket is required.
But the first question... Why one should travel without ticket?
There are following reasons.
1> To Save Money of Ticket Value.
2> To have fun, mixed with fear of getting caught.
3> To find that you are lucky enough to get escaped from Ticket Cheaker(TC).
I think this much are enough....
Now big QUESTION, How to travel without ticket?
Now as I said it before you need not have some thing from external. Then what? All you need is the confidence to walk & you are done. Ticket chekers checks only those who look suspicious, who are not able to make eye contact with them. tho look nervous, how have fear in their face.
So rule is to Walk with confidence. But how can you look in eyes, or make eye contact with TC it will be the difficult task, but I never told you to Make an eye contact. So what could be done? If you have mobile, take it out Call any one if you want to make a call, or just place it on your ears as you have dialled a no. Have a smile. If you have watch in your hand try to make it visible. & Look busy looking else where. Where? You can find number of BEAUTIFULLs around you, watch them, this will show your confidence.
Now.. what are the chance that you will get Caught???
Just 1.. You need a BAD LUCK to get caught. Yes and if you have it with you, you could not be saved even if you have a ticket.
HOW ? Recently my friend was travelling in a train, he has a GOOD habbit of always having a ticket but he always complains that HE IS NEVER ASKED BY ANY TC FOR THE TICKET.... That day too he had a ticket. He was in train which was running....... Then soon their came a TC, asked for Ticket. He put his hand in upper pocket of shirt, where he remember he kept the ticket. But soon he realise that its torn (shirt) from inside, He looked nervous, & TC realised that my friend is ticketless. My friend said he had a ticket, & search in some other pockets, pants, wallets etc. but was sure that he had missed it & was to miss some thing more. He realised that its pointless to talk... & paid Rs 260 as FINE.
So he brought the Ticket but with it he also had BADLUCK.
Another incedent... this is another friend. He was going for interview. He went, at interview they asked for Rs100 as registration charge & in turn gave him a file, The interview happened, he found that he was not selected ( because he was told to be called later where selected member have to go for next round same day). He was very angry that he was not selected & also he wasted Rs100. He decided to travel ticketless. He entered Train, it was trains last or first stop, so train would be halting there for 10 mins. He found a window seat. But... yes the TC came & asked for ticket. He asked how much is the fine. TV replies-260, He took his wallet, & handed over Rs 260 to TC & colledted a Receipt. He didn't got caught becauce he was ticketless, but because of his BADLUCK.
So the moral of these story is. To get caught be TC you are not required to be Ticketless, but with your BADLUCK.
But how can you be saved if you don't have a Ticket & dont have a BADLUCK TOO??
Nice question.... If you are not travelling with your badluck, the chances are less that you will meet a TC. So there is nothing wrong in trying a journey Ticket less.
WARNING-- NEVER RUN OR JUMP FROM A RUNNING TRAIN your life values more than Rs 260.
All your Positive & Negative Comments are Welcomed.
5 thing that i hear every day from my teacher...
2.are baba u dont know me,i have craziest ideas to irrtate u..
3.beta i m dealing with ur age guy since 15 year...
4.do 100 question today.and show me tomorrow.if not than X5 next day..
5.baba u wait and watch i will do with u .................
this is our thapliyal sir..asian school..u all should meet him..
Five most funny signs ever seen !!
1) I am a bomb technician, if you see me running try to keep it up.
.
2) KUM and go
.
3) No trespassing. Violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again
.
4) Sale Sale Sale. 0% of on selected items, today only
.
5) Any person ( except players ) caught collecting golf balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.
.
.
PS:- These signs were not at all created by me. Only random one which I have came to notice from internet and written stuffs on T-shirts
Five hyperactive threads of community.
2.List of banned members.
3.Sports thread
4.MishMash threads
5.Lame thread..
Five worst replies when a gal does love proposals
2. I dont love you..i love ur brorther.
3. Main ladkiyon ko pyaar nahi karta.
4. kambakht ishq......* after movie it became a worst reply*
5. Mere paas badi gaadi nahi hai..nahi paisey hai..*the kills herself after dis*
5 things from Rupees to Paises
2) Cheap Neighbourhood.
3) Shouting if sick, so somebody might ask u kya hua bhai
5 things to do in an elevator....
2. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones
4. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "hey Sid...kahan reh gaya tha yaar ?"
5. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
5 things not get selected in Organisation
2) Arguing with the Interviewer
3) Attitude
4) Talking about the different topics
5) Last but not least Teri Maa Ki .........Jaapi
Five famous Soap dialogues.
1. Mihir utho mihir tum mujhe chod ke nahi jaa sakte.
2. Yeh bacha tumhara nahi hai..rahul..err. raj... nahi kya hai.
3. main tumhare bache ki maa banne waali hun
4. Mujhe divorce chahiye tumse Vinod kyu ki tum marte nahi ho.
5. Happy 199 birthday baa..
Five things to do to lose weight !!
1) Stop eating at all. Ladkiyan jald hi kareena kapoor AKA skeleton ban jaayengi
.
2) Get bankrupt and kill someone. Tension har cheez kam kar deti hai
.
3) Don't stop smoking. Weight aur breath dhuaan banke udd jaayengi :|
.
4) Seek for AIDS. Fir dekh kamaal
.
5) Last but not least. Shut down your computer.
5 things to take when u join SHIP
2) Safety Shoes
3) Winter Jackets, etc
4) Documentation
5) Last but not least very important Undies
5 things that makes you killer?
if someone calls you rakhi sawant and you give them a kiss back!
if you have killed 57 machar leaving behind that fuddu who stated himself as ab tak chappan
if you depend on 'Anita the online Psychic' to know your luck and future
if the only job you have had as yet is a blowjob
5 things not to do on 1st date !!
2> Make an attempt to Kiss her lips
3> Tell her that this is your first date ever
4> Check out other Hot chicks
5> Ask her for some change for return bus fare
five flop films of action kumar..
2.tasveer 24/7.....nazara hai..
3.chandi chonk to china...best action ever seen..(,,,/,_)
4.humko dewana ker gye...humko beep bana gye..
5.jambo..every thing gonna be alright..i dont think so akshay.
one hit film...SinGH is KIng
5 Slogans for Viagra.....
1. Viagra....the quicker dicker upper
2. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
3. We work harder, so you don't have to
4. Viagra, home of the whopper
5. "This is your p***s. This is your p***s on Viagra. Any questions ?"
top 5 sexy female politicians
2> Mamta Bannerjee
3> Jayalalitha
4> Rapri Devi
5> Uma Bharti
5 Commandments of a Teenager.....
1. Thou shall not skip class...........(just take the whole day off)
2. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.......(why wait that long?)
3. Thou shalt not steal from thine parents...(everyone knows grandma has more money)
4. Thou shall not think about having sex..........(like Nike says, "Just Do It")
5. Thou shalt not get into fights.........(just start them)
5 things you wish you could put on Ebay!
2. your bassi vegetables
3. your bassi girlfriend
4. your worn out undies
5. your bakwaas hindi teacher
Five much needed superpowers !!
.
.
PS:- Expecting Supergirl's comment on this
1. Throw the bootle..it shud hit on target..
2. Make the coolest hair style..u shud look gud..
3. U r bank account shud not have 1 million rupees
4. u r dialogue delivery shud be gud than KRK
5. U r hieght shud be more than 5.7
Things not to say while at an audition for a reality show.
1. Jaanta hai mera BAAP kaun hai ? (Agar tuje nahi maalum toh hame kaise maalum hoga)
2. Yeh show scripted hai na. (Agar hai bhi toh bolu kyu)
3. Kitne paise doge? (Shaadi mein aaya hai)
4. Agar muje nahi loge toh aapka hii nuksaan hai. (Tuje liya toh bhi hamara hi nuksaan hai)
5. Teri Maa Ki @%¥€.. :p
5 THINKS one shouldn't ask/say in front of a girl
1.never say that she's ugly
2.neva appreciate any other girl in front of her..
3.never ask her if she ever got hooked up
4.never ask her age...
5. never ask her did she spent hours in parlour as she looking HUMAN=)))
add jingles we cant forget
->kya aap closeup karte hainnnnnnn...
->Zandu Balm...Zandu Balm..peeda hari balm
->Karram-Kurram...kurram karram...Lijjat Papad
->Tanduroosti Ki Raksha karta Hai ’Life Buoy’..lifebuoy hai jaha tandorusti hai wahannnnnn
->Washing Powder Nirma...Washing Powder Nirma
->Jab Ghar ki Raunak Badhani ho-Nerolac Paints
->Doodh doodh piyo glass full doodh
->Pan Parag....Pan Masala...Pan Parag
->chubti jalti garmi ka mausam aayaaaa.....
thre r endless
most double meaning songs of bollywood...
->dhak dhina dhin.. dhina dhin dhak dhina dhin
barsat main hum se milye tum sajan tum se milye hum
->Kal saiyyaN nay aisee bowling kari,
ek over bhi maiN khel paayee nahin.
Chauthay hi gaind mein out hui,
Paanchva gaynd main jhel paayee nahin (it is really a song)
->Lekin yeh manva dolay,
jab kisi ki khatiya bolay,
chu-chu-chooN.. chu-chu-cooNu... chu-chu-chooN
->sarkai lio khatia jara lage...
->Khol kay layti rehti hooN main,
Ghar kay darvaazoN ko.
Kab tak daal kay ungli soun,
main apnay kaano mein.
->khada hai khada hai khada hai...sir pe tere aashik khada hai
kindly ignore d vulgarity
5 points to confirm if you are a Rakhi Sawant fan or not
VERY VERY IMPORTANT
THINGS YOU DI'NT KNOE ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON
1.For beauty purposes and to live longer, Michael Jackson used to sleep in an oxygen tent
2.Jackson's Patented Anti-Gravity Boot
3. Bubble the Chimp, Michael's best friend
4.Michael Jackson was suffering from a rare genetic disease called Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency
5.His dad nicknamed him “Big Nose”AND His close friends called him “Smelly"
5 things to do when a guy Ignores you
1)DIG(yeah..DIG) your nose with a pencil
2)Try voodoo dolls
3)Give him Jamaalghota in his drink and tell him that only you can cure him.
4)If these things doesnt work,then kidnap that guy...*evil grin*
5)And if nothing works....find yourself a new BAKRA....there are plenty of them in this world
.........................................................................................
PS:-STOP DRESSING LIKE UGLY BETTY
5 POINTS HOW U CAN BECOME SUPER FAMOUS IF U FEATURED IN A REALITY SHOW
1. If you are a girl expose your assets to the fullest/boys can show their physique
2. Try to be generous and helping with every one in the show
3. To become gossip king/queen abuse anyone on the show such that news channel(india tv) are forced to show your video twice or thrice a day.
4. If possible start an affair with your co-participant
NOTE: Preferably select your opposite sex.
5. Even after such an effort you haven't achieve success then try this one, it ll surely work. Spread a rumor such that u become famous overnight. for ex. a boy in reality show wanting 2 b famous can say that i have slept with XYZ actress when she was studing in college.
cheers !!!!!
My very own Fantastic Five.
Superman(Hanu man) - He got his ass burnt by Ravana and
Indirectly Affected - All of us
2.Draupadi(Mahabharata)---> Direct Affected - All of Pandavas and Kauravas
Indirect Effect - Dushashan pulled Draupadi's hair
Bajrang Dal took the battle of troy seriously and
-Tight tees with prints of popeye, mickey mouse etc :) or tees that say ‘sorry girls I only date models’ ‘just did it’
-White and black Jeans with yellow, blue, red washes *woohoo*
-Red, yellow , orange shoes of puma,nike available near bandra station
-A cell phone that has the best sound quality. So that you can play your ‘akon’ songs loud enough for the whole class. Generous! Why were earphones even invented ?
-Say dooooode ! wazzzaaaa ! or maybe wazzaaa bantaaai and other ‘khool’ stuff
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