Five Things - 2 - OpenMeans

Five Things Girls Cant Stand ...

1. Guys who runs miles away wen raise the topic of commitment.
2. Guys who use after-shave like bath water..whc is worse dan body odour
3. Guys, who keeps us waitin...isnt that our side of the deal ?
4. Guys, who pretend that they cant stand it when we gossip, but end up doing themselves.
5. Guys, who flirt with other girls in our presence ..err..ntn is more flatering than undivided attention.

Five Things Guys Hate .....

1. Girls who fish for compliments.
2 Girls who cry for every lil thing possible and expect them to guess why thy're feeling low..
3. The way girls yawn when talk abt cricket or heavy metal and scream when guys yawn during their girlish talk.
4 Girls when they think Hirtik making faces cute and guys doing same is embarssing
5.Girls who giggle at everything guys say..especialy when its not meant to be a Joke...

5 things not to tell in a bar

1. ek glass pani dena!

2. aa Vodka kya hotha hain?

3. Veg noodles la na pls!

4. Bar Girls Kidhar hain?

5. (after drinking too much) mere paas paise nahi hain!

5 Things Proff usually say Durin lectures..

1)Cut the apple in2 2 halves..Take the bigger half..

2)Sssshh,Quiet Guyz...The Princi jus passed away...

3)Both of yew three,Meet me after the lec..

4)Take 5 cm wire of any length...

5)Why r yew late...??Say Yes or No..

Five things not to do in SCHOOL !!!

1. Ask your teacher -- Don't you get ill or what ?
2. Break the window glass of your principal's office while playing in break...
3. Ask your patner during maths period -- Kuch samjh raha hai kya .. kya chalu hai?
4. Sit on last bench and draw some obscene things on table
5. Ask your games sir to help you write in sports thread of community

5 successful ways to irritate wrestlers!

1. Haha i know you have taken steroids.

2. Was it bear that made you this.

3. Your left breast is a little smaller than your right one....uhh...ya!

4. Hey wassup with your undies....look at your crack!

5. I have heard the bigger the wrestler, the smaller his that....ahem ahem!

5 thingz Engg Students usually say durin Lecture::

1)Sanjana ka Assignmnt 2 nd 3 tere paas hai kya...??

2)Attendance sheet kiss k paas hai...??

3)Mam ko kuch nahi aata...

4)Headz v go home..Tails we go home now...

5)Chapter kab khatam hua re...??

Five things to do before you DIE

1) Go for a diving experience in a ocean filled with sharks. Marte marte, sharks ke hi kaam aajaa
.
2) Take a big loan and credit card and buy anything you always wanted to buy or you can buy. Marne ke baad paise chukaane nahi hote
.
3) Go for Scuba or Sky diving. Marna to hai hi, to aish karte hue mar
.
4) Walk nakedly on the road. Marte hue aadmi ko sharam kaisi? Upar se kissi ko pasand aa gaya to teri chaandi
.
5) Last but not least, Read my above four points and do accordingly. Iske baad tumhara marna pakka.

Five thing Backbenchers do

1. Sleep in the class
2. Watch couples in front of them making out and saying "Yaar in logo ko kaise ye sab karne ko mil jata hai "
3. Couple sitting at the last bench - Hands exploring everywhere.
4. Playing ringtones as if to disturb the class
5. Then saying yes mam /sir when teacher says "Samajh aaya ???"

5 things you should not tell your girlfriend on turning up late on the date..!

1.hey i was with your best friend only she told you were coming late.

2.Hey i am sorry , i was busy searching for a gift for you but could not decide so i came late and got nothing.

3.I didnt want to look as bad as you, so it took me time getting ready.

4.I was just trying to wipe of the lipstick marks your best friend gave me.

5.What we were supposed to meet at 4.30??? i thought 5.30!! pehle bolne ka na

5 Thingz nuh to say wen u r in2 Defaulter::

1)I was late,So watchman din let me in..

2)I fuhgot the Icard..So went back home...

3)Utsav{Fests} k marketing nd Publicity mein bizi tha...

4)Uss Mam ko sikhaane ko hi nahi aata..toh baith k no use....

5)Kitna bharna padega..Seedha Seedha Bolo...

5 things not to say to superman

1. Don't you have a spider web ?
2. My girlfriend name starts from 'S' remove that S from your shirt
3. Why do you always save pretty girls ? what about the ugly ones?
4. Batman has his own PHANTOM car .. what do you have (Tere paas kya hai )
5. Why so you were your underwear outside your pants ?

5 things you can say while being caught pee-ing (toilet ) on a public place

1.) " Deeware bhi insan hoti hain yar unhe bhi pyas lagti hai ....... "

2.) " abey kya dekh raha hai ?? ghar main bap-bhai nahi hai kya ?? .... bhagwan ne diya nahi kya??" * 377 ke bad halat bade kharab ho gaye hain *

3.) " yar mujhe gardner banana tha bachpan se ..... bapu ne bnane nahi diya ....... and the thing i love the most was watering the plants ( so, apna sapna poora kar raha hoon) "

4.) "kya mast bricks use ki hain deewar banane main .....sexy paint as well.... asian paints + abc bricks = sexy combination "

5.) "kya sala roj ghar main pee karta hai ....... arey aaj bahar kar ke dekh ......nazara aa jata hai .... aaja tu bhi side main lag ja ....suduko khelte hain "

Five HOT news..

1) Malika sherawat loves saree.

2) Mayawati gtng married to Arnold Schwarzenegger. All bach are Invited!

3) Penguins were seen in Sri-Lanka taking sun-bath.

4) ab is community main koi bhi thread delete nahi hoga...

5) Is baar se Holi ko "GABBAR jayanti" ke naam se jana jaega.!

sholey ke dialogues ki band bajane ki trying
phun task ek

1) kutte mai tera khoon pilunga >>> kyun doodh ki supply band hai ramgardh mai

2) basanti in kutton ke agae mat nachna >>> basanti bar girl hai kutton kya biliyuon ke agae bi nachegi

3) are o sambha kitne aadmi thae.... sardar 2 >>>abe gabar bi "gay" tha .... sholey mai bi aadmiyuon ke bare mai pooch raha hai

4) bhaag dhano bhaag basanti ki ijaht ka sawal hai>>> abe dhano ke piche bi toh horsesszz pade thae uski ijaht kon bachayega

5) are o sambha sardar kitna innaam rakhi hai >>> sardar innam nai hai woh loan tha sarkaar pr apke upar daal diya ab aap hi pay kro bank walon ko

Cool one liner to say to a girl

1. I have forgotten my mobile number can i have yours.

2.it is too difficult to stair you from der can u come l'il closer

3.Can i be water in your bath tub.

4.Do you believe in love at first sight..or i shud walk through the door for second time

5.I have a car of ferrari..

Places where u shud not date a girl

1.Tihar jail

2.Africa. wha jaana hai toh GD phir PI pass karna hoga

3.MTV office. kuch bhi ho jaao yaha mat jaao..yaha duniya cool log rahetey hai..aapko chod ko dusrey ke saath chale jaayegi

4.Your bedroom. yaha toh karna hi mat..final destination first acha nahi lgta

5.Big boss house. yaha jaana hi mat..yaha aatey hi automatic break up ho jaatey..vaastu ek dum kharaab

5 things to do watching d movie blue

1]throw blurberry squash and shoutt blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2]sing chiggy wiggy out load

3]neva expect that somthing mysterious is going to happen in d 2nd half

4]after watching d movie neva again recommend anyone to watch it

5]ppl who couldnt get d tickets donn worry iam sure u did somthing good in ur last janam.wait for d movie to b telacasted on sony/star or colours

five things you should never say if you call 100

1. merko tumhara kutta khareedna hai

2. hi. whats up? :P

3. do you think if i call 911 they will reach faster?

4. im out of balance. gimme a call back

5. please meri maths problem solve kar do na... they cant even if they wished to

Five excuses if your zipper is open

1. "Oh, maine bag ki zip band ki aur iski bhul gaya."
2. "Arre aaj kinni garmi hai " band karte huye
3. "Mai to dekh raha tha ki hw much you notice things around you. You are great "
4. "Arre sabko bahar ki duniya dekhne ka haq hai "
5. "Bas yahi sab dekho tum. Aur koi kaam nahi hai. Thank God ! Em wearing undies." Thinks "Thank god".

5 things not to tell in police station

1. (shout loudly) Jihaad

2. gun rent mein mil saktha hain kya?

3. ek case per kitna miltha hain?

4. bin laden mere mama hain

5. mera bhai kasab kahaan hai?

5 Famous dialogues after yew get outta ur Xam Hall ::

1)Ye bhi syllabus mein tha kya...??

2)Accha,ye aisa likhna tha kya..Ohh Shittt...Beep..Beep..

3)Ye Subject ka reference Book kaunsa tha...??

4)Tuitions k Sir ne toh kuch aur bataya tha naa...??

5)40 paasin hai naa.....Mujhe sirf 37 aa raha hai..Beep Beep..

5 things no1 is even bothered to listen ..

1) This my last day n dis community.

2) USA is short form for united states of America. wtf!

3) congrats!.. tumhe bhi angrezi aati hai..

4) useless, indeed... huh

5) DESHDROHI 2 coming! <<<<< constipated look!

things to say on a random telephone number

1.. kabira speaking devi prasad ghar par hai?

2.. hello mai Amitabh Bachchan Kaun Banega Crorepati se.

3.. i know what you did last summer

4.. ye wrong number hai kya?

5.. GUESS WHO?

5 things not to say to Rakhi Sawant!!

1. Are those real ?
2. Your mom loves you right ?
3. Abhishek used you ? really in what sense ?
4. you don't look good dancing.. Try something different
5. MIKA still loves you he wants a kiss from you now

FIVE things never to say in front of a BHAI (Don)

1:- Hello sir ( oyee jyaada angrej mat ban... bhai bol bhai )

2:- Bhai Chai lenge ya coffee ( abe desi loge ya angreji pooch )

3:- Hafta Ek saanth Du ya installment main.. (body single chahiye ya installment main)

4:- Bhai mere pass itne Paise nahi hain.. (kidneys to hain na )

5:- Bhai ye wale bank main robbery nahi karte hain wahaan security bahut hai..(Ab tu batak "duck" ke bacche ko tairna"swimming" shikhayega )

5 Things that Fat people do.

1:They promise themselves,whole year, that they will start dieting frm tomorrow.

2:They eat nothing for 7 dayz, looses 4kg's in 7dayz and ,when they start eating,

they gain 7kgs in 4dayz

3:They buy clothes of smaller size thinking they will fit in someday .

4: When they go out for dinner they order butter chicken,chicket biryani,chicken tikka

masala,and with that they order PLAIN NAAN & DIET COKE.(since they are wait

concious.

5:They feel they are very sexy..:D

5 things not to say at the bigg boss house!

1. Mera paani france se aata hai.

2. Meri naukrani italy se aai hai!

3. Ye bigg boss house ke property paper kaun rakhta hoga?

4. Chal diwal phang ke chalte hain.

5. Ha, that voice of bigg boss is of Keshto Mukherjee!

5 things not to ask from YOUR PARENTS..

1) Mein aap logon ki shadi ke Album mein kyun nahi hu?

2) Mujhe paida kerne ke pehle permission li thi?

3) Mujhe DOCTOR uncle ne 1st OCT ko kyun nikal diya 2nd ko nikalte to mein bhi GANDHI banta!

4) Agar aap mere DAD ho to BAPU kaun the?

5) Agar aap meri MOM hai to MOTHER TERESA kaun hai?

5 songs to cheer up your depressed girlfriend

1) tofa tofa tofa tofa tofa...laya laya laya laya ...in typical jeetendra style

2) sarkaaye lo khatiyaa jada lage...conditions applied...

3) any himesh reshamiya song

4) dil mein ho tummmmmm...aankho mein tummm....typical Bappi lehri isshtyle...

5) chances are that after listening these four songs she may dump you also...so dedicate the fifth song to yourself...

Dost Dost Na Raha Pyaar Pyaar na Raha

Zindagii humein tera aeitbaar na raha...

Cheers !!!

cont....