My story
Dating is part of your life and you always want it to be more better. Now as you have entered the online world it is much easiler to discuss such topics. Also it has become more easy to get the help with the comforts of your own home.
I started searching for the help online a few years back when I was in the college and I ended up reading a numbers of ebooks and articles on this dating. I never bought any book but whatever was available for free on the internet I searched for it. It was not that I needed a girl friend badly but I was just curious to know about the material which they had to teach to the people. I wrote these lines about myself because I know that you might also have such a similar experience to share.
Now the question is this that has it worked in a good way with me? The answer is a little confusing for me also. As a matter of fact the number of girl friends has increased 3-4 times but the level of satisfaction was still not good. The reason was because I was still lacking the confidence. When I speculated a little more into the matter I found that the reason for this dissatification was that I read those pirated version of the e-books and I was guilty.
Now few days back I thought to buy the genuine version and I did that. I ordered one of the ebook which I had read earlier and re-read a part of it. This time when I met my girl friend I was more happy with myself and I told her about my journey with the dating world. I read the ebook with her and asked her if this stuff really works with the girls, but she never minded about my question.
My point about Dating
My point is this that if you really want to be happy with the dating you have to be honest with your Gurus, you girl friend and with yourself.
First you have to find out what is it that you really want?
Then you have to give whatever it takes to achieve it but remember honesty is the best policy. If you are looking just for some romantic dates then go for it, if you are looking for a lifetime partner then go behind that. The biggest problem with anyone is that they don't know what is it that they really want. So take a pen and try to write down whatever you want in your life. Then commit yourself to achieve it.
There are a number of people online who claims to be dating gurus but they hide themself from the world, for some unknown reason. The person whom I found most reliable is the "Neil Strauss" who uncovered the society of the pick up artists with his book "The Game". If you want to know more about it then read this book but in a honest way.
The honest way is to buy the ebook through some online stores. If you want to know more abou the writer then you can search the wikipedia and you will find a lot about Neil.
You must have seen many heartbreaking or sob stories around and most of them revolve around love. If you are confused if the guy you have been dating for days, months or years is really into you then look up for these signs and try figuring out the answer if he really is the right choice you have made. Remember every love story may not have a happy ending but sometimes the right decisions may make up your life and the wrong ones can give you a real bad time.
He treats you like a lady A gentleman will always treat girls like ladies with all the due respect and special attention. If your guy waits for you to step first into the restaurant or any other place, pulls the chair for you before taking his seat, offers to do any favors for you then he does have a special place for you in his heart.
He likes to spend time with you Does the guy take out time from his schedule to be with you? Does he never forget to call you even when he is on an outing to enjoy with his friends? When in a group are you the one he constantly looks in the eye and likes to talk the most to? If yes then you are special for him. If he wants to be with you no matter how you spend the time then he is genuine in his likings. If a guy can give up a day time he spends in the gym or an evening with friends just to be with you then girl he is really the right guy for you. Remember let him make his decisions and do not force him into taking out time for you, if he does it himself that will give you happiness.
Respects your choices and takes care of you If a guy likes you from his heart he will always keep in mind your likes and dislikes. He will never ever let you face discomfort due to him. If you tell him that you don’t like public display of affection he will never make you feel uncomfortable in front of your friends or other people. If he knows that you don’t like to go to a particular place or say with a particular friend he will never try to force you to do so and respect your choices and decisions.
He flirts If a guy is into you he will find you irresistible and may naturally flirt with you often. It comes naturally when liking is there. If your guy flirts with you (not all the girls around)and talks about sweet things to you that make you feel good and this not in front of all of your friends group but in alone when there are just the two of you. Then yes the guy is definitely into you.
He enjoys your attention If the guy has a special place for you in his heart he will put in his best efforts to please you and impress you. Have you ever noticed that your boyfriend does things that you like, take for instance he listens to the songs that are your favorite and wears the colors that you like then he is trying to be the guy you had always wished for. If the guy seems to take interests in your interests he is really having feelings for you in his heart.
Sometimes he calls you just like that If a guy really likes you he will surely like to talk to you as an when he feels like. He would not wait for a special occasion to talk to you but will call you for no reason sometimes maybe just to know how you spend your day or how have you been.
Introduces you to his friends There are guys who may give you all the attention in the world but will never take your name in front of their friends. Is your guy in the same category? Does he hesitate in introducing you as his girl before his friends? Introducing you to his friends is a signal that he has made a place for you in his life and wants to include you in the list of people that are close to him. If he talks about you and your good things to your friends you really mean a lot to him. He wants his friends to know that you are the girl he had been dating and show them how amazing a person you are.
Considers your friends his friends If a guy is really into you he will listen to your talks about your friends and would show interest in meeting them and getting to know them. A good natured guy will respect your girlfriends too and be a happy go lucky guy when around them. If your friends happen to be with you when he is around he will give them space too and not force you to come along with him if you cannot. He may indulge in flirting with them but at the end of the day you are the girl for whom his heart skips a beat!
Observe his body language for the signs If the guy really likes you he will look straight into your eyes and will give you a smile even when you are surrounded by a group of people. He will lean forward to you while talking to you. It is said that a person if sitting with you crosses his arms and leans backward is not much interested in you. So if a guy is interested in you he will have open arms and his torso will be leaning towards you while he talks. If he enjoys your company he will less fidget and be completely engrossed into you. If he is really into you he will not look more into you rather then looking around.
He listens and not merely hears Whenever you talk does he keeps responding to you in between whenever required. Observe if he listens to you and participates in the talking. He will make you a part of the conversation whatever it may be and may ask you for your takes and opinions. If a guy is serious for you your comments and your viewpoints will matter to him and he will love to include you in his talks.
Love affairs are commonplace now-a-days. Love at first sight is usual phenomenon. It’s considered a pity today if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend by the age of 16. If you like someone, don’t hesitate to tell him/her about your feelings. You may find a wonderful life partner. But do teenagers think about the future life before loving someone? Do they think about living together as a married couple? Do they imagine themselves as living together for a lifetime? I doubt it.
Most of the teenagers today have girlfriend or boyfriend. But they don’t give it a thought from future perspective. They enjoy each other’s company at this age. With time, one gets used-to of the other’s ways of love. Initially they would plan surprises & gifts for each other. They would drink, dance & enjoy each other’s company. But soon as time flashes by, emotions too fade. As we come in contact with more jubilant, attractive & smart personalities – we feel attracted towards them forgetting the fact that we already are in a relationship. Or sometimes the two may decide not to continue as they have realized that the relationship won’t work any longer. Or it may be simply because of some family matters that they change their paths.
Whatever be the case, separation is not easy to digest. Separation, or a break-up as we call it, is hard to deal with. We have been with a person for a long time, we have known each other, understood each other – and now we part. We feel depressed & lonely. We feel our world crashing & wish to cry so that tears wash away our emotions. One doesn’t feel like doing anything, & soon we feel life isn’t worth it. So how to tackle a break-up? After all life is to live. It cannot pause for one person. Below are the tested 8 ways to emerge stronger from a break-up.
1. Cry
Crying lighten one’s heart. Tears are the best way to express sorrow. We feel shattered after a break-up; suddenly we have lost a loved one. It is obvious that tears will come rolling down our eyes. Don’t try to be hard, let them flow. If not in front of someone, cry alone. Nights are the best time to remember memories & cry alone. Tears lighten up the burden of emotions & you feel relieved.
2. Give some time
Time is the strongest of all factors. Time is the biggest healer. You will feel lonely after break-up, but give it some time. Feelings take some time to evolve. Love too happens slowly, so it’s obvious that it will subside slowly. You may not be able to forget some people, but they will move to your unconscious mind over a period of time. Don’t react to a break-up, take your time to settle down, realize the fact & move on.
3. Change the mind-set
Now that you have parted ways, it’s not that you two cannot be friends. You need to understand life, & see the perspective from both sides. We blame others; ridicule them for their deeds; but it only burns our inner soul with rage. One needs to change his/her mind-set before moving on with life. Life doesn’t give you a second chance, so why not enjoy each & every moment. One needs to look at the positive sides of life & focus on his/her potential in other areas of life. Change your mind-set for the good.
4. Exercise
Exercising, in any form, is the biggest stress reliever. When you are depressed & feel lonely, join a gym or an aerobics class, or play an outdoor game regularly. Workout refreshes our muscles & we feel rejuvenated. It is the body that needs to be controlled in order to control our mind & heart.
5. Pursue a hobby
Pursue a hobby – your favourite pastime. The thing you enjoy doing most, do it regularly. It can be anything ranging from writing, reading, sketching, painting, cycling, cooking, dancing, singing, travelling, movies, sports, or any other. Doing what you love relaxes your mind, & gives you strength & self-confidence. Pursuing a hobby is a must to overcome the shackles of a break-up.
6. Friends
Friends are your biggest bet in the time of crisis. And break-up is no less than a crisis. Phone your friends, call them over, go out with them, watch movies, party with them and share with them. Do remember to share your crisis with your best friend. Sharing your bad times with your best friend helps a lot. Friends help you enjoy & live your life to the fullest.
7. Double the enjoyment
After a break-up, most of the people tend to move into a shell. They don’t feel like doing anything. If others ask them to join, they refuse. They are just depressed & don’t want to be out in the crowd. They want to be alone. But this is the biggest mistake that we do. Don’t keep yourself aloof from your surroundings. Go out & have fun. Enjoy with your friends, family & relatives. Instead of living in solitude, double the enjoyment. If someone asks you out & you don’t feel like going; push yourself & say yes. Try saying yes to any opportunity that life throws at you.
8. Be positive & accept life
At last, one needs to be positive & accept the life as it comes. Life is full of ups & downs; nothing is permanent. Life is one & you need to live it to the fullest. There is no sense in wasting your time regretting over past. You cannot change it; but yes you can enjoy the present moment. Look at the positive sides of life. Banish any negative thoughts coming to mind. Just go out & live your life, smiling :-)
Tapovan the heaven on earth
As they say, while God was creating this world He saw this particular point on earth and decided to make it his private property, later he opened it for few selected ones who could afford to reach that place with lots of determination and real taste of beauty and care for peace. I have seen almost all places known as hill stations in this country and always in search of some thing different from the crowded and full of people with show off business rather than enjoying the beauty provided by nature.
I wanted to go to remote places in Himalayas for the love of Mother Nature that she has hidden in her lap for the real lovers to come and explore. I shared my views and desire with some of my friends but it took me a long time to find one in a Sikh fellow Kuljeet, a jolly fellow who was not only adventure loving but as witty. He had accompanied me on many car and motorbike tours before too but not as difficult one as Tapovan. He being an auto parts manufacturer and knowledge in automobile was a perfect companion for such a tough tour. Although, I had been on tough motorbike rides before also with different groups of friends.
Start of the journey
We started for Uttarkashi one fine morning in the last week of May last year at about five in the morning by a Hero Honda while my friend was on his Suzuki and reached Haridwar at about eight. By the way, let me tell you that I had an extra wheel fixed on the rear of my bike and whole kit of spares in my tool bag plus an extra bag of petrol to use at a later stage fixed at my petrol tank. The carry bag a reasonably heavy one because we would need woolens also at a later stage tied on the right side of my bike and another one, comparatively a smaller one on my shoulders with necessary items.
That was a hot day and we wanted to stop at Haridwar but we did not and went on to reach to Rishikesh at about nine where it was a little more hot, probably the hottest day of the season. Then the fact is that Rishikesh surrounded by hillocks is a hot place in summers if you are not sitting on the banks of Ganges. However, we started for Narendranagar after a stopover of maybe twenty minutes for a quick tea and light snacks. The hilly way begins right after Rishikesh and we were expecting it to be little better but the temperature was showing no mercy and touched almost forty-two by the time we reached Narendranagar.
We decided to take a break at Narendranagar, had an early lunch, and stayed there for about an hour and left for Chamba. Now we had to decide our further course of the rout as from this particular point Chamba, the rout divides; one goes to New Tehri and the other towards Dharasu and UttarKashi. We took the later rout towards Uttarkashi avoiding Tehri. This was heavy traffic on the road with the beginning of holy season of festival; we could see nothing but different vehicles heading towards north. Now the roads have changed a lot from what they used to be a couple of decades back, incidentally.
I would like to mention here that this is not safe to drive on these roads if you are not experienced in hilly driving as the roads are to curvy with full of U turns and you never know what is on the other side while taking the left turn. People who know to drive on hilly or mountain roads know that this is very different from driving in plains. The rout that takes to Dharasu from Chamba is along the river Ganges almost a distance of about seventy-nine kilometer that took us about four hours despite our almost non-stop journey.
Dharasu is the turning point
The way to Uttarkashi divides from Dharasu itself, one of the roads goes to Barkot that leads to Yamunotri and the other one goes to Uttarkashi. I had been to Dharasu many times before but never by a motorbike but by a car or a bus. I know this place as highly prone to land sliding where you never know when a few rocks may slide or stones coming rolling down. However, we reached safely to Uttarkashi at about six in the evening, a tiring journey indeed.
I had been to Uttarkashi before during my service period for business purpose with various government purposes and found the place fascinating every time with a little mysterious atmosphere maybe due to high range of mountains and lesser activities those we are associated with in plains. We stayed in a hotel near bus stand although, we could have stayed in the government guesthouse but that would consume some time and we wanted to have rest after making the necessary arrangements.
We had a walk in the market near the bus stand bough a few newspapers and after having, an early dinner came back to our room to have a wonderful night view of the Varunavat Mountain that causes havoc during monsoon season. We started our next morning with a trip to temple of Shiva, had our breakfast and then proceeded to complete the formalities like a permit to Gaumukh and trekking equipment from different points. This takes lot of time to complete these formalities.
On the way to Gangotri
We could finish the formalities by two thirty in the afternoon and after having a quick meal, we started for Gangotri, which is almost hundred kilometers away from Uttarkashi. Actually, the distance is not that big a problem to reach to Gangotri but the road beyond Bhatwari that creates the whole trouble being too rough and prone to land sliding. This road is too narrow to take the traffic thus cause traffic jams. We too faced the traffic jams but our bikes saved us and we managed to get away.
The rain on the way made things more complicated and forced us to take the raincoats out of the bag. Finally, we made it to Gangotri in about four hours, a place situated at almost three thousands meter above the sea level. That was wonderful to be there, the sound of flowing water of Ganges, the beautiful temple the thrill of reaching to the holy place with crossing so many hilly streams on a bike. Every thing was so scenic and like fairy tail. Moreover, this was terribly cold there to be out of the place where we were supposes to sleep, a dormitory type arrangement. This was the end of journey by bike.
The real journey
The real journey started the next morning, when we went for a quick Darshan of Gangotri temple, like a permission to move ahead for the holy trip on foot for Gaumukh a trip about eighteen kilometer a steep climb of about three thousand feet. But first step first, we reached to Kankhu the check post where the Gangotri national park begins and all papers are verified including plastic items, which are restricted to five only and that too on condition that these would be brought back. We marched with tracking bag on our shoulders and trust me every step showed the signs of high altitude trekking. It took us almost four hours to walk about nine kilometers to reach Cheerwasa. Cheer is the pine tree, which are available here in great number.
Another permit check here and a rest of half an hour or so and we started our march again. This was another breathtaking journey with at least twenty land sliding zones on the way to Bhojbasa with rock and stone filled road to walk on. This took us another four hours to reach there. Once we were in Bhojbasa the scenery was very different, we could see the whole Gaumukh snout, which is more than four Km away from Bhojbasa itself.
Some people who were traveling by ponies and had their arrangements of tents were busy fixing them but we took our shelter in Lal baba’s ashram where plenty of blankets and meting were available, although the rest house of Garhwal is nearby with every facility. We ate whatever was available there to eat although a bit too costly besides this is must to eat some thing occasionally to keep going in such conditions. We also had a very good view of mount Bhagirathi 1, 2 and 3.
To Tapovan
This was a fine morning with sunny weather next day with no sign of snow, which looked possible the previous night. We started at about eight for Tapovan after having our breakfast and having some items packed for the way. We walked towards Gaumukh and saw a heard of local deer known as Bharal (the blue sheep deer) known as main food of snow leopard. Although we were reaching toward Gaumukh but we had to take a diversion about two kilometers before reaching Gaumukh. The way was tough, as we had to look for crevasses, a step wrongly placed and we could have gone deep down between those cracks.
We were almost there just about four kilometers away but the toughest of the hurdle was yet to cross through, steep climb of three hundred meters almost like climbing a wall. These glaciers took us almost three hours but just after crossing these, we had to cross that sand and stone made wall, which failed all our efforts because keeping the grip was almost impossible due to loose sand. After climbing almost hundred meters Sky Ganga, a subsidiary of Ganges that begins its journey from Shiva Ling Mountain crossed our way and was to cross through. That was not an easy task because the flow of stream was too fast and stones slippery.
We were in Tapovan finally
However, that phase also passed through and finally entered into Tapovan to much of our relief. Now there was no more climbing to do and we were to walk along the Sky Ganga only. We were at the height of almost 4,400 meter or 14,000ft. We were told later about that Blue lotus the sacred flower, which is available during August in the same area. We stayed there overnight and started our journey early next morning that proved still more adventures than while climbing up.
That was a wonderful experience
We started in the early hours of morning to have the full view of the heavenly glimpses of Shivaling and Bhagirathi mountains bathed in golden rays of early sun. We also went down to see Gaumukh, which we had bypassed while on the way to Tapovan. We each filled a bottle of water from the source itself and started for Gangotri. As per our original plan, we wanted to begin our journey back to Uttarkashi the same day when we reached to Gangotri at about five but were too tired to do so postpone it for next morning and stayed at Gangotri overnight.
We returned in due course but I shall never forget the heavenly memories of Tapovan and all the places we visited during that particular visit. I have so much to share and hope to do so in my next chapters. I hope some of you plan to be there, if yes please look at the following points-
- The best season to visit this particular area is during May through June, rainy season is most unsuitable time to visit there.
- If planning to go beyond Gaumukh, make sure that you are fully fit to take such strenuous tour.
- You can reach by a transport up to Gangotri. Be careful if self-driving.
- If you are not used to such tiresome high altitude journeys, never try to haste your journey, make it with a day to spare and take every precaution even if you are totally fit physically.
- Please take special care of holiness of the place and saints living there. This is God’s own place after all.
- Do not forget to keep in mind that you shall be in extreme weather conditions there so take tent to stay and woolens, trekking shoes and other related items as per requirements.
- Finally, a world of advice generally people through away bottles and polythene there, which is not advisable and makes adverse effects to the environment.
There you are eating a delicious meal with your gang of boys and you suddenly spot a lady who you take an instant liking towards. What do you do? You don’t know if she likes you too? Are you a little nervous before you make your first move? Here are some signs that will help you know whether she likes you back or not.
1.If she looks back at you (when you are hopelessly staring at her) and slowly her lips cure into a smile
2.If she slowly moves her fingers towards her hair and begins to twirl the strands around her fingers. Be careful to notice the subtle difference between twirling the strands and hastily running her fingers through her hair (the latter could be because she is distracted or is feeling anxious about something).
3.If you suddenly find that she gets up and goes into the ladies washroom! And more so if you see her returning with her hair brushed and a new coat of lipstick on her lips. Be sure to notice the shy glance that she is sure to give to you when she crosses you by (yes she will make sure to cross from near you before she reaches her table).
4.If she likes you she will surely get your attention even by coming up to you and asking you for help like “how do I go to X place from here” or “do I need to tip the waiters here?” etc. If she is a daring one, you could expect a note to be sent across to you too! So don’t be surprised if you get one.
5.If you are in the position where you have managed to strike a conversation with her then expect a light touch on your shoulders, her slightly bent body towards you, moving her face close to you and then suddenly straightening up, laughing, revealing quite a lot about herself and asking you questions too etc. if she likes you. And if she does not then you will find her sitting straight with her arms folded across, merely nodding to what you are saying, her eyes looking at different imaginary points on the wall with no attention on you etc.
6.If she likes you she will give you compliments – plain and simple.
7.If she fancies you she will definitely make plans for the next meeting without your prompting to do so.
So now that you more or less know the signs get up and find out if the lady you like, likes you back or not. Best of luck!
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