Open Means Open Means

Funny jokes

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Humor & Jokes
Wife says to husband: "I had a dream yesterday night that you gifted me with a diamond ring. Now, what does that mean"?

Husband says: "Am not sure, dear, Will let your know tonight"
Wife waits eagerly for her husband to return. The husband comes and gives her a pocket book- "The Meaning of dreams"!

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U
What's the difference between a used car salesman and a software salesmen?
Only the used car salesemen knows when he lying.
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U
How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
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How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
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Salesman calling up prospective client: : "Is the boss in?"
New office assistant: "Are you a salesman, bill collector or a friend of his?"
Salesman, thinking quickly: " All Three!"
Office boy, smelling the ploy: " In that case, he's in a business conference. He's out of town. Step in and see him!:
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Salesman: " This computer will cut your workload by 50%."
Office manager: "That's great, I'll take two of them!"
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How can you tell when a salesperson is lying?
His lips are moving
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U
Two random variables were gossiping and thought they were discrete by whispering but I heard their chatter continuously.
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Why did the statistician take Viagra?
Since his sample was large, he did not want to be rejected with a small p-value and be declared practically nonsignificant!!
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I asked a statistician for her phone number... and she gave me an estimate.
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Why are you moving? You have arrived to this lovely neighborhood just a few weeks ago."
"Yes, but I read in the local paper a bit of statistics that said, 'most auto accidents happen within eight miles of your home'."
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U
Did you hear about the politician who promised that, if he was elected, he'd make certain that everybody would get an above average income?
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Three statisticians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first statistician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second statistician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third statistician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "On the average we got it!"
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Patient: " Will i survive this risky operation?"
Surgeon: "Yes I'm absolutely sure that you will survive the operation."
Patient: How can you be so sure?"
Surgeon: "9 out of 10 patients die in this operation, and just yesterday my ninth patient died!"
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U
Don't Kill your wife with housework. Let our washing machine do it for you.
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Want to propose to a girl ?
* Just do it. (Nike)
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Before going to propose to a girl ?
* Believe in the best (BPL)
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If your girl asks you which dress to wear ?
* Kuch nahi (Pears)
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Not satisfied with your dates ?
* Yeh dil mangey more (Pepsi)
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If you are going to propose to a girl, chances are... ?
* 50-50 (Britannia)
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Topic Author

S

Sridevi

@hello123

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Created Sunday, 16 May 2010 06:45
Last Updated Tuesday, 30 November -0001 00:00
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Views 10.2K
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Humor & Jokes

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