Funny jokes

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

Child: "Why do you send me to school for."
Mother: "To make a man out of you."
Child: "But my teacher makes everyday a cock out of me."

A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"

When the teacher entered the class all the boys were standing.
The teacher said: 'Now, all of you sit down except those who are absolutely dull and duffers?' All the boys sat down except Rajan.
Teacher: 'Why Rajan? Are you absolutely dull and a duffer?'
Rajan: 'No sir. The thing is that you were standing alone and it didn't look good to me.'

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
"Darling, could you tell me about your work."

There are three kinds of accountants in the world
Those who can count and those who can't.

What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humor

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite an accountant.

What's a shy and retiring accountant?
An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.

What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
Jail.

Why do accountants make good lovers?
Ther're great with figures!

Why don't accountants read novels?
Because the only number in them are page nunbers!

Q: What do pilots eat?

A: Plane biscuits.!

The flight attendant asks a cannibal in First Class: "Would you like to see the menu?"
And the cannibal responds: "No. Can I see the passenger list? Thank you!"

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.