Funny jokes

A rich man sent his son to a good school in London after a few weeks the son sent his father a letter;
"Dear dad,I just wanted to tell you that am embarassed to go to school in my Mercedes Benz when all my teachers come on train"
Then the father sent him a letter with a cheque amount £10 million,"son just buy yourself a train...."

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and Blue.

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start
swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I Swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
:lol: :lol:

K.G BOY ON HIS WAY 2 HOME WITH HIS MOM, SAW A COUPLE KISSING ON THE ROAD?

HE SUDDENLY SHOUTED AND SAID-

"LOOK MOM! THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR CHEWING GUM"

:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers?

They grow taller!

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

Akash make sure that you post your jokes by leaving gap between them, do not try to spam here. wait for others response or others posts!

pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u delivers a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000
;) ;) ;) ;)

sajeetharan Sir
Thanks for your advice

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday.


How? The other beggar asked.

First begger: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.

I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-, and enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money.
The Taj manager called the police man, and handed me over to him.

I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.

well that really a good thread..reading daily can really brighten your day.. :)

Once a cute lady came to Bernard Shaw and said:"If you marry me we will have a child with your intellectual abilities and my beauty.Think how it will be"

Bernard Shaw replied calmly: If the child is with my beauty and your intellectual abilities think how it will be ?

:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: Good one Abid, George Bernard Shaw was famous for this kind of humor.

But Churchill got the better of him once, it happened like thi:
Once Shaw sent an invitation to Winston Churchill:
Opening night of my drama. Come with a friend if you have one.

To which Churchill replied, "cannot come first night, will come on second night, if you have one." :) :laugh: :)

sardar was attending an interview..........

boss: where were you born?


sardar: in Tiruvanantapuram


boss: tell me spelling

sardar: i was joking, i was born in GOA.......

:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

Kalyani...

It is a very good joke and think it had happened in real life

Neetu,

Sardar is really a jolly one.But Thiruvananthapuram is my state's capital city

Sridevi thats a good idea. maybe many husbands can try this book as a gift :P