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Funny jokes

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Humor & Jokes
Wife says to husband: "I had a dream yesterday night that you gifted me with a diamond ring. Now, what does that mean"?

Husband says: "Am not sure, dear, Will let your know tonight"
Wife waits eagerly for her husband to return. The husband comes and gives her a pocket book- "The Meaning of dreams"!

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Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.
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Kumaresh Gupta wrote:
[quote]Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pappu : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pappu : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". :woohoo: :woohoo:[/quote]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Question : What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?

Answer : A box of Quakers.
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School Teacher: What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?

Student: All of them were born on Indian centre govt holidays!
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Sardar Ji: Why have you increased speed of car?

Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.
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A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji.

Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.

Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?

Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.
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Laloo rang labor room of hospital to to know about his pregnant wife Rabri. By mistake he dialled the number of a cricket stadium.

Laloo: How's it going?

Reply: Fine, four are already out. The last one was a duck.
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Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give
5 to Priya,
3 to Sonia and
2 to Neha
then what will u get????

....

.....


......


......

Kid: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
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Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!

US President: Wow! How many?

Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.
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A 'devout' person finds a bag of money

He sees the money,opens the bag, pauses for a second, looks at the sky and says:

"Oh God! I will throw all this money to you . How much you want you take and give me the rest!!Let it fall down and I will collect" :laugh:
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Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, clean ing home and washing clothes.

Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
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In New Delhi, Blue-line buses are notorious for killing people in accidents.

Today a Blue-line bus driver saved
2 lives.

Howz that possible?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He did not go to job today.
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Santa: Why do you close your eyes while playing the piano?

Banta: I can't see the agony of the audience.
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A French husband was returning home after cremating his wife.

He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.

Husband thinks: She must have reached there.
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Laloo's Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married.

Funny Laloo: I never calculated, I am still paying for it.
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A Haryanvi bought a car on loan from a bank. He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.

Funny Haryanvi: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
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Husband: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.

Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!
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Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?

Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother.
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A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.

Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.

Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??

Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
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Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.

Banta: Is this dog faithful ?

Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.
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Created Sunday, 16 May 2010 06:45
Last Updated Tuesday, 30 November -0001 00:00
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Views 10.3K
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Humor & Jokes

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