Funny jokes

sajeetharan wrote:
[quote]Once Laloo was coming out of an Airport. As there was huge rush the
security guard told to Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs"
and moved on.[/quote]

Funny indeed.Was it real ?

Various ways to kill a lion : :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.. Implies you caught lion.


Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it until it confesses that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Karan Johar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.You don't understand right... ok....

read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!


Yash Chopra method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.


Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him vegetables continuously.



George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and then shoot him!!!

:laugh: :woohoo: :woohoo: :silly: :woohoo:

We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time.

संता: डॉक्टर साहब, मैं चश्मा लगा के पढ़ तो सकूँगा?
डॉक्टर: हाँ, बिल्कुल!
संता: तो फिर ठीक है वरना अनपढ़ आदमी की ज़िन्दगी भी कोई ज़िन्दगी है!

Really some wonderful jokes are kept here by many members and I don't know how I missed this thread till now.

James was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

James has been missing since Friday.

There are three friend talking with each other :
one say that my brother is running so fast that road is crack.
second say that my brother is running so fast that sky is crack.
After that third say that my brother is running so fast that pajama is crack. :) :) :) :) :)

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pappu : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pappu : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". :woohoo: :woohoo:

Teacher: Why are you late?

Very Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.

Teacher: So, What?

Very Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow.

Funny Man: Drink quickly... drink quickly... before it gets cold.

Wife: But why...

Funny Man: They charge Rs. 50 for hot coffee and Rs 100 for cold coffee.

Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.

Kumaresh Gupta wrote:
[quote]Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pappu : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pappu : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". :woohoo: :woohoo:[/quote]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Question : What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?

Answer : A box of Quakers.

School Teacher: What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?

Student: All of them were born on Indian centre govt holidays!

Sardar Ji: Why have you increased speed of car?

Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.

A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji.

Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.

Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?

Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.

Laloo rang labor room of hospital to to know about his pregnant wife Rabri. By mistake he dialled the number of a cricket stadium.

Laloo: How's it going?

Reply: Fine, four are already out. The last one was a duck.

Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give
5 to Priya,
3 to Sonia and
2 to Neha
then what will u get????

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Kid: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!

Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!

US President: Wow! How many?

Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

A 'devout' person finds a bag of money

He sees the money,opens the bag, pauses for a second, looks at the sky and says:

"Oh God! I will throw all this money to you . How much you want you take and give me the rest!!Let it fall down and I will collect" :laugh: