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Funny jokes

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Humor & Jokes
Wife says to husband: "I had a dream yesterday night that you gifted me with a diamond ring. Now, what does that mean"?

Husband says: "Am not sure, dear, Will let your know tonight"
Wife waits eagerly for her husband to return. The husband comes and gives her a pocket book- "The Meaning of dreams"!

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Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, clean ing home and washing clothes.

Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
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In New Delhi, Blue-line buses are notorious for killing people in accidents.

Today a Blue-line bus driver saved
2 lives.

Howz that possible?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He did not go to job today.
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Santa: Why do you close your eyes while playing the piano?

Banta: I can't see the agony of the audience.
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A French husband was returning home after cremating his wife.

He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.

Husband thinks: She must have reached there.
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Laloo's Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married.

Funny Laloo: I never calculated, I am still paying for it.
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A Haryanvi bought a car on loan from a bank. He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.

Funny Haryanvi: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
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Husband: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.

Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!
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Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?

Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother.
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A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.

Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.

Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??

Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
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Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.

Banta: Is this dog faithful ?

Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.
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Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.

Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us.
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My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally.

Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.

"No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
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Funny Sharma was filling up application form for a job.

He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote: YES
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Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?

Priest: So that you will love them.

Santa thinks for a short time...

Santa: But why did God make them so dumb?

Priest: So that they will love you.
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Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?

Kid: No, my mummy beats me.

Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.

Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.

Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?

Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!
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Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?

Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.

Banta: Isn't it too high?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?
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Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?

Employee: (looking down) No Sir...

Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.
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Santa: Why are you heating the knife.

Banta: To do suicide.

Santa: But why are you heating it?

Banta: To prevent infection.
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Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?

Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!
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Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."

Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ?
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Topic Author

S

Sridevi

@hello123

Topic Stats

Created Sunday, 16 May 2010 06:45
Last Updated Tuesday, 30 November -0001 00:00
Replies 0
Views 10.2K
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Humor & Jokes

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