There was a time when child marriages were considered perfectly normal and then things changed and the age for marriage was pushed up until they attained puberty and so on...According to some research based studies there apparently is a perfect age for marriage and the reasons seem valid too, but again marriage is a very personal issue and one cannot generalise about it
Are you sure that the said couple married to slog in the Orphanage? No, because the couple intended to work together in each others company. Additionally, more than anything, they wanted to work for a noble cause to help the society, which was their common interest. Because, they could not have children, they wanted to treat all those children left or thrown in the garbage bins, as their own.
rambabu wrote:Marriage at 50 years ? No, Marrying another woman of the same age is Ok. It reminds more of companionship than marriage. I have seen such late marriages mostly when both of them or one of them is a widower.
One may marry at any age. But when we talk of ideal marriage age, we don't have to consider exceptional cases of marriage at such advanced age. Some may marry even at ninety. But in most cases, ideal age is between twenty five to thirty. Apart from age, career and education get priority. One must first complete education and stabilize in job. This may take one to 30 years and in some cases even thirty five. But any way, fifty is too much. That means that half the life has already expired. I suggest that one need not marry at fifty or more. Simple companionship or live in relation will suffice.
I firmly believe marriage is a very personal decision. Marriage at any ripe age is their choice but sometimes I find people getting married three to four times irrespective of age factor then it really bothers me. I wish to question them that how do they rate the institution of marriage. Even I believe that marriage has nothing to do with having a child. A couple blessed with a child is a blessing from God but having a child cannot be mandatory and can't be made the sole reason to get married.
Whereas earlier the only aim of marriage was to procreate under the watchful eyes of the elders since marriages were arranged, age was an important factor. However with changed scenario , now people prefer to treat marriage as romantic companionship or for some security. So, the ideal age too has changed. We see more girls opting to get married only if and when they want to , the same goes for the young men. There are also many cases of couple getting married in their late thirties or even later...
The trouble what I felt while handling my toddler in mid thirties cannot be the same with other ladies of the same age. There are ladies with full of zeal and wonderful health who would never find it difficult to manage a little kid. I had health issues and quite naturally my energy level was quite less. Earlier I wrote about the monetary factor related to the completion of child's education is certainly an issue to ponder upon for us and people like us who have a fixed income and also a retirement age but those who have a huge income and no retirement age , they will not be bothered about the settlement. Thus, it varies from person to person and the choice be left to them. I was extremely happy with my decision of getting married late but felt little taxing when I became a mother due to health otherwise I don't have any repentance for my late marriage. It helped me to understand my spouse better, I knew how to control my expectations as well as never had that dreamy kind of imagination regarding the romance in our married life which are very essential qualities to remain together blissfully.
Earlier daughters were not consulted about their marriage and in many families even sons were not consulted but now the whole concept of marriage has changed. It will change further with the spread of education that which enhances more and more awareness. One factor regarding marriage has to be respected and that is the decision of the person, daughter and son, who is to get married must be given all the importance. If it is denied then marriages will not remain a very happy event anymore.
Shampa Sadhya wrote:Earlier daughters were not consulted about their marriage and in many families even sons were not consulted but now the whole concept of marriage has changed. It will change further with the spread of education that which enhances more and more awareness. One factor regarding marriage has to be respected and that is the decision of the person, daughter and son, who is to get married must be given all the importance. If it is denied then marriages will not remain a very happy event anymore.
it is only is urban and sub urban area. In rural area marriage are still decided by the elders. Boys and girls are not consulted for their marriage ever before marriage boy and girl see each other.
Even educated families , especially business oriented families go through marriage of convenience...We have seen a couple of those high profile marriages break up within a short period of time ! But among most Indian middle class families, the stress is on finding a boy/girl for their children.
@anil I know that whenever I make a point I do it on the basis of such a society where I live. For me it is very difficult to opine according to rural areas. I know that rural areas are way behind but as I have never been to a village my observation regarding it is based on books and datas. That's why I refrain from discussing according to rural way of living.
anil wrote:Shampa Sadhya wrote:Earlier daughters were not consulted about their marriage and in many families even sons were not consulted but now the whole concept of marriage has changed. It will change further with the spread of education that which enhances more and more awareness. One factor regarding marriage has to be respected and that is the decision of the person, daughter and son, who is to get married must be given all the importance. If it is denied then marriages will not remain a very happy event anymore.
it is only is urban and sub urban area. In rural area marriage are still decided by the elders. Boys and girls are not consulted for their marriage ever before marriage boy and girl see each other.
Presently, irrespective of the region where people live, the marriages are taking place in accordance with the wishes and ambitions of the of the man and woman.. If the elders use force, man and woman are even ready to run away from their homes and get married.This is a good change in prevalence all over the country and gaining strength by day.
rambabu wrote:anil wrote:Shampa Sadhya wrote:Earlier daughters were not consulted about their marriage and in many families even sons were not consulted but now the whole concept of marriage has changed. It will change further with the spread of education that which enhances more and more awareness. One factor regarding marriage has to be respected and that is the decision of the person, daughter and son, who is to get married must be given all the importance. If it is denied then marriages will not remain a very happy event anymore.
it is only is urban and sub urban area. In rural area marriage are still decided by the elders. Boys and girls are not consulted for their marriage ever before marriage boy and girl see each other.
Presently, irrespective of the region where people live, the marriages are taking place in accordance with the wishes and ambitions of the of the man and woman.. If the elders use force, man and woman are even ready to run away from their homes and get married.This is a good change in prevalence all over the country and gaining strength by day.
That's quite absurd going by what is happening in the country. Almost every day you get to hear of honor killing and parents forcibly marrying off their children to boys or girls of their choice. This happens everywhere almost on a daily basis and how can anyone can make such sweeping statements ?
usha manohar wrote:rambabu wrote:anil wrote:Shampa Sadhya wrote:Earlier daughters were not consulted about their marriage and in many families even sons were not consulted but now the whole concept of marriage has changed. It will change further with the spread of education that which enhances more and more awareness. One factor regarding marriage has to be respected and that is the decision of the person, daughter and son, who is to get married must be given all the importance. If it is denied then marriages will not remain a very happy event anymore.
it is only is urban and sub urban area. In rural area marriage are still decided by the elders. Boys and girls are not consulted for their marriage ever before marriage boy and girl see each other.
Presently, irrespective of the region where people live, the marriages are taking place in accordance with the wishes and ambitions of the of the man and woman.. If the elders use force, man and woman are even ready to run away from their homes and get married.This is a good change in prevalence all over the country and gaining strength by day.
That's quite absurd going by what is happening in the country. Almost every day you get to hear of honor killing and parents forcibly marrying off their children to boys or girls of their choice. This happens everywhere almost on a daily basis and how can anyone can make such sweeping statements ?
Honor killing is evil. Yesterday here in small town father killed his daughter because she wants to marriage with boy who is not of his cast. Boy contact with administration but they failed to save innocent girl.
Those who see a particular face of happenings and conveniently turning their faces away from the happenings about will say :" It's absurd" naturally will not accept such happenings like this. This incident and the news link has been given in the same thread. Anyhow I'm giving the news link one more time.
http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2015/06/23/india-early-marriage-educ_n_7642284.html?utm_hp_ref=india
One or two swallows does not make summer similarly a couple of stray cases of defiance does not mean the society has changed drastically and to think so is indeed absurd and foolish and being blind to the other side . There is some change happening but at a very slow pace but generally traditions , parental control and caste factors still play a major role in deciding on fixing a marriage in villages, small towns and even in metro towns..
usha manohar wrote:One or two swallows does not make summer similarly a couple of stray cases of defiance does not mean the society has changed drastically and to think so is indeed absurd and foolish and being blind to the other side . There is some change happening but at a very slow pace but generally traditions , parental control and caste factors still play a major role in deciding on fixing a marriage in villages, small towns and even in metro towns..
Changes are taking place but in a very slow pace which will take years to change the whole society. In villages the condition is very different and the most important point is if at all some are running away from their homes when they are forced by the family is actually not a solution. It's not the desired change. Change is that which is happily acceptable to all and not the protests which may lead to a violent revenge from the family's side which usually do take place and many are not even reported or go totally unnoticed. That's a big failure of our society.
Shampa Sadhya wrote:usha manohar wrote:One or two swallows does not make summer similarly a couple of stray cases of defiance does not mean the society has changed drastically and to think so is indeed absurd and foolish and being blind to the other side . There is some change happening but at a very slow pace but generally traditions , parental control and caste factors still play a major role in deciding on fixing a marriage in villages, small towns and even in metro towns..
Changes are taking place but in a very slow pace which will take years to change the whole society. In villages the condition is very different and the most important point is if at all some are running away from their homes when they are forced by the family is actually not a solution. It's not the desired change. Change is that which is happily acceptable to all and not the protests which may lead to a violent revenge from the family's side which usually do take place and many are not even reported or go totally unnoticed. That's a big failure of our society.
Running away from the home to escape Child marriage is a change I'm favored of. Instead of succumbing to the evils of Child Marriages, it's better to run away from the family showing discontentment towards child marriages.
Talking of age of marriage per se I feel there is no special age. More so in a developed society. Then there is also a biological difference in a man and a woman. Men generally do not age that much and can marry at any age. The Hollywood star Anthony Quinn( My favorite) married his secretary at 82 and fathered 2 kids. So frankly there is no age if one is socially and materially well off. India is lagging, but soon we will catch up in this field for sure.
@kiran8