There was a time when child marriages were considered perfectly normal and then things changed and the age for marriage was pushed up until they attained puberty and so on...According to some research based studies there apparently is a perfect age for marriage and the reasons seem valid too, but again marriage is a very personal issue and one cannot generalise about it
Male can marry at the age of 21 and female can marry when she reaches 18. But today, people do not like to marry earlier. They give more importance to education. According to them, education is the best way to get good job and to earn income for running a family. So they all like to marry after getting a good job.
Jincy Aby wrote:Male can marry at the age of 21 and female can marry when she reaches 18. But today, people do not like to marry earlier. They give more importance to education. According to them, education is the best way to get good job and to earn income for running a family. So they all like to marry after getting a good job.
Financial stability is no doubt a must before getting married but the concept is changing now with both the boy and the girl working and sometimes the girl is working while the boy is pursuing his higher studies or in a few rare cases even unemployed. However, it depends on individual preferences...These days many couple are going in for live in relationships as well which further pushes the marriageable age higher !
usha manohar wrote:Jincy Aby wrote:Male can marry at the age of 21 and female can marry when she reaches 18. But today, people do not like to marry earlier. They give more importance to education. According to them, education is the best way to get good job and to earn income for running a family. So they all like to marry after getting a good job.
Financial stability is no doubt a must before getting married but the concept is changing now with both the boy and the girl working and sometimes the girl is working while the boy is pursuing his higher studies or in a few rare cases even unemployed. However, it depends on individual preferences...These days many couple are going in for live in relationships as well which further pushes the marriageable age higher !
True...financial stability is also now a major influencing factor nowadays when marriage is considered. Along with boys, even girls now want to be financially secure and stable before getting into wedlock. Perhaps it is because now more girls are taking sole responsibility of their parents seeing that most families are now nuclear ones.
rambabu wrote:usha manohar wrote:@ Kalyani I agree that lifestyle and demands of the society one lives in plays a dominant part in deciding the age at which children get married and since arranged marriages are still very much a part of it , parents have more say than the children. But things are slowly changing ..
@anil, rambabu , I agree that in large and even small cities 25 or even 30 is not a great age since it takes that long for both boys and girls to get settled in their career and stabilise before they think of getting married.
I heard a case of a girl who escaped from her village in the state of Maharashtra to avoid child marriage. An NGO helped her. The girl wanted to study and do a job.
It is fact that to stop child marriage awareness in increasing. In many case Rajasthan girls contact with government authority to stop her marriage. government also made rule that printer before printing marriage card get proof of age to assured that girl and boy both are adult.
anil wrote:rambabu wrote:usha manohar wrote:@ Kalyani I agree that lifestyle and demands of the society one lives in plays a dominant part in deciding the age at which children get married and since arranged marriages are still very much a part of it , parents have more say than the children. But things are slowly changing ..
@anil, rambabu , I agree that in large and even small cities 25 or even 30 is not a great age since it takes that long for both boys and girls to get settled in their career and stabilise before they think of getting married.
I heard a case of a girl who escaped from her village in the state of Maharashtra to avoid child marriage. An NGO helped her. The girl wanted to study and do a job.
It is fact that to stop child marriage awareness in increasing. In many case Rajasthan girls contact with government authority to stop her marriage. government also made rule that printer before printing marriage card get proof of age to assured that girl and boy both are adult.
This is a great step taken by the Government of Rajasthan. Now it is clear that Government is bent on to curb the child marriages.
I was working before I got married and left the job as my base shifted to another city. Though my husband encouraged me to take up a job I did not agree. A new environment and a new surrounding, a joint family where I was a daughter-in-law who I knew will be adjudged after each and every step so always felt a little restricted. Now, the time has passed for getting into any job or so and that's why I am into freelancing but it's yet to become a mega event of my life. Maybe it won't be that big any day! Although I must admit I am not facing any financial crunch because of having a very considerate husband. Still I think financial stability should be of first and foremost importance and then comes marriage.
Personally I feel that women should be financially independent regardless of their marital status...It does not matter how wealthy or well to do your husband is because a job , however small gives you an identity and a certain status which is all your own, besides making you confident.
@usha manohar I entirely agree with you. I can judge this situation very well through my own example. Sometimes income is not that huge but still there is a satisfaction of satisfying your own identity as well as that some expenditures can easily be met through one's income which gives immense pleasure. I was stuck in such a confusion that my decision went wrong for my own identity. As a wife I have nothing to complain but as an educated lady I really feel I have not made justice to myself.
Actually there is a whole load of things one can do sitting at home, which keeps you occupied as well as lets you earn...A lady known to me is a post graduate but after giving up her job to look after her kids, never went back to work.Now she delivers packed lunches to offices and bank employees and is earning really well..
usha manohar wrote:MG Singh wrote:Personally I dont believe in a perfect age for marriage. One can marry at any age 30,40 50 or even later.
I tend to agree with that, marriage should be a personal choice not a compulsion and one should not go by the standards laid down by the society. I have a male cousin who was married at the age of 22 , an arranged marriage which broke up in 3 years time after which he was disillusioned. His wife coped better and got married again after 4 years. He went through many phases of life . Now he has found someone who he feels is the right partner for him and he is 43 years old. The entire family and his well wishers are very happy for him !
it is right that every one have right to marriage when she/he wants. Here is question ideal age for marriage. I think 50 years is not ideal age for marriage.
I do not think that marriage at the age of 50 is not good. People do not like lonely life. They want to get support from others. Life is not easy when we go in older age. If one can find out a suitable life partner in 50, why can't they marry? Here the couples can help each other and can share their feelings and worries with open mind. Late marriage gives less importance to physical relationship.
anil wrote:usha manohar wrote:MG Singh wrote:Personally I dont believe in a perfect age for marriage. One can marry at any age 30,40 50 or even later.
I tend to agree with that, marriage should be a personal choice not a compulsion and one should not go by the standards laid down by the society. I have a male cousin who was married at the age of 22 , an arranged marriage which broke up in 3 years time after which he was disillusioned. His wife coped better and got married again after 4 years. He went through many phases of life . Now he has found someone who he feels is the right partner for him and he is 43 years old. The entire family and his well wishers are very happy for him !
it is right that every one have right to marriage when she/he wants. Here is question ideal age for marriage. I think 50 years is not ideal age for marriage.
There is nothing wrong in getting married at 50 since with advanced health care and fitness people remain quite healthy and young even beyond 50....And, afterall it is a personal matter so if a person wants to marry at 50 to someone younger or older or whoever , it is left to the individual. Age difference can be either way, not necessarily men being older and the ladies being younger !
usha manohar wrote:anil wrote:usha manohar wrote:MG Singh wrote:Personally I dont believe in a perfect age for marriage. One can marry at any age 30,40 50 or even later.
I tend to agree with that, marriage should be a personal choice not a compulsion and one should not go by the standards laid down by the society. I have a male cousin who was married at the age of 22 , an arranged marriage which broke up in 3 years time after which he was disillusioned. His wife coped better and got married again after 4 years. He went through many phases of life . Now he has found someone who he feels is the right partner for him and he is 43 years old. The entire family and his well wishers are very happy for him !
it is right that every one have right to marriage when she/he wants. Here is question ideal age for marriage. I think 50 years is not ideal age for marriage.
There is nothing wrong in getting married at 50 since with advanced health care and fitness people remain quite healthy and young even beyond 50....And, afterall it is a personal matter so if a person wants to marry at 50 to someone younger or older or whoever , it is left to the individual. Age difference can be either way, not necessarily men being older and the ladies being younger !
Yes nothing wrong in marring at 50, but only peoples who didn't find right one at the normal age of marriage, marriage at 50 years. At the age of 50 years giving birth to child is not safe and practical. At later stage when both are unable to do thier personal work who will care them.
anil wrote:usha manohar wrote:anil wrote:usha manohar wrote:MG Singh wrote:Personally I dont believe in a perfect age for marriage. One can marry at any age 30,40 50 or even later.
I tend to agree with that, marriage should be a personal choice not a compulsion and one should not go by the standards laid down by the society. I have a male cousin who was married at the age of 22 , an arranged marriage which broke up in 3 years time after which he was disillusioned. His wife coped better and got married again after 4 years. He went through many phases of life . Now he has found someone who he feels is the right partner for him and he is 43 years old. The entire family and his well wishers are very happy for him !
it is right that every one have right to marriage when she/he wants. Here is question ideal age for marriage. I think 50 years is not ideal age for marriage.
There is nothing wrong in getting married at 50 since with advanced health care and fitness people remain quite healthy and young even beyond 50....And, afterall it is a personal matter so if a person wants to marry at 50 to someone younger or older or whoever , it is left to the individual. Age difference can be either way, not necessarily men being older and the ladies being younger !
Yes nothing wrong in marring at 50, but only peoples who didn't find right one at the normal age of marriage, marriage at 50 years. At the age of 50 years giving birth to child is not safe and practical. At later stage when both are unable to do thier personal work who will care them.
You may be surprised anil, but I know of some people who have remained unmarried out of choice inspite of being well off , nothing lacking in them and having many suitors. One of them got married at 52 to a young lady of 31 and it was a love marriage. We also have the famous example of Dilip Kumar marrying at 44 to Saira Bano who was 21 years old.
My aunt who was supposed to have been very beautiful when she was young remained unmarried until she was 42 years of age and got married to her colleague at work who was of the same age and unmarried. They did not want to have any children , so that was not an issue. They are very happily married !
If the couples decide not to have children, late marriages are not an issue. I know one such couple, who married late and could not have children, are running an orphanage for slum dwelling children with the help of some NGOs in the beginning and later by the government. This couple thus fulfilled their desire of their of childlessness through Social activities.
Just because a couple is beyond 45 or 50 does not mean that they have to immerse themselves in social work or such other activities, am sure they have better way of spending life in each others company. There are many couple who have had children after 45 years of age and enjoying parenthood..It may seem unusual but is perfectly natural
@kiran8