At the risk of instigating a riot of sorts, the general opinion in this discussion seems very men oriented.

Let me be very clear here, I am not saying that women are the saints in every situation. I have no doubt that they play as much a role as the man in a breakup (it takes two to tango after all!) But just to make this discussion more active...

Why is it that the general opinion is that the family breaks up because the wife can't adjust with the husband's family?

I agree that woman is not always responsible for break up. In fact, she comes to her in law's house as a new comer. It is responsibility of all especially her husband to help he getting adjusted to new environment. She knows that she is to be part of the new household and she should also try to adjust.

In fact, such issues surface everywhere. The non adjusting new wife is like students in first year facing ragging. The new wife should be helped and not ragged. A new employee in an office also faces similar problems.

Better understanding and spirit of mutual regard and love can solve all issues and prevent family break.

the concept of breaking between family where parents are involved is old. these days the parents and the children dont break the relation . parents know what the children wants. if they feel that the child and his wife should spend time seperatly then they are free to. mostly the issue is a wife and husband dont corprate with each other and this result in seperation where the child has lost his family or you can say the family broked into 2 pieces. hence in my point of view is relation breaking is only the break up of husband and wife.

this shows that the husband didnt tried his best to bring her. the reason behind she leaving the place has not been solve. she needs her husband to understand her. i feel in husband an wife .when husband is in anger the wife should try to cool it and when wife is then husband should.

Friends, as I promised earlier, I am back with a fresh post in the present group discussion and in this post I am going to bring out some other relevant points that are responsible for family breakups and in a way try to suggest some important remedies for the same.

Causes or reasons:

1) Dowry - There has been numerous cases of inhuman harassment caused to the parents of the bride in the matter of dowry recently in our country. The very question of dowry creates ill feeling between the two parties, that is, the bride's parents and the bridegroom's parents or the in-laws and indirectly results in breaking up of relation between husbands and wives and in turn a family.

2) Early marriages - In our Indian societies, the very practice of early marriage is also a reason of family breakup because in this case both the parties involved ( husband and wife ) are immature or teens and cannot handle most of the pressures involved in married lives and hence they opt for divorce and separation.

3) Family issues - If one of the partners want to live together with parents while contrary to this the other dreams for a nuclear family of her own then again a question of breaking relation crops up in the minds of the partners.

4) Family background - Much depends upon the surroundings in which both the partners are brought up or raised when it comes the question of raising their children. Facts and statistics prove that both the parents want to raise the children in the same way in which they themselves brought up and in a way a cloudy situation crops up between the partners and very often results in the breaking up of a family relation.

5) Lack of personal care - According to a recent survey, it has been revealed that partners after their marriage tends to become to casual when it comes about mentioning their beauty and fashion stature and in a way they don't find their partners as appealing attractive as before and their relation takes an ugly shape in the future.

6) Culture - Culture too plays an important role. Suppose a wife is brought up in a culture where women can independently choose a carrier for them and contrary to this the husband is brought up in a culture where independent carrier for women is not allowed. So tensions and confusion builds up and it becomes very messy and beyond recoverable.

7) Pressure of married life - Finally, responsibilities of married and
settled lives often creates enough pressure on the newly married couples and very often then not they yield to circumstances simply because they think they are not ready to bear those or ready for it at that point of their lives.

Remedies:

** Dowry system should be discouraged by the young people of the present generation and when there will be no temptation of dowry such unpleasant relationship will not grow up between partners.

** Premature marriage or marriage during the teens should be avoided as far as possible and marriage should be done at a time when one thinks that he/she could take up the challenges of married lives.

** Expectations from your partners are good but at the same time it is also good to keep in mind not to go for too higher expectations from your partners and at the same time be prepared to accept any such possibilities when your expectations are not fulfilled from your partner.

** Try to appreciate each others jobs and duties in your day to day lives as this will surely help to build a good rapport with your partner.

** Give enough time and space to your partner so that he/she could zeal with your mentality and surroundings and can finally understand the kind of person you are.

** Act like a mature person and be prepared to explore the challenges and responsibilities of married life. In the beginning you will face difficulties but believe me at the end you are going to reap huge benefits if only you do so.

I think at the time of Anger it very difficult to manage yourself to control and if it happen then good.

The non adjusting new wife is like students in first year facing ragging. The new wife should be helped and not ragged.

This is a good analogy! And like ragging, though everyone knows it's wrong and people advocate putting an end to it, there will always be those few seniors who feel its their right to rag.

No relationship is going to be perfect all the time. There will be times when you're angry and stressed. The point for couples to remember is that its just for that moment of time.

Parents and kids fight all the time. Yet they are still close, even after all those years of fighting. Personally, I believe its because there is always that understanding that nothing can truly break their relationship. A few moments of anger cannot outweigh what we know will be years of love. Just because there is no blood relationship, doesn't mean the same principle can't apply to a husband and wife.

Yes,
as a human being men will have complaints against women and viceversa.So we have to look the common situations and their remedies.

I think at the time of Anger it very difficult to manage yourself to control and if it happen then good.

Anger is a strong feeling that cannot be controlled instantly. But if there is goodwill and mutual understanding, this is a small issue. This is more a question of the newly wedded wife getting adjusted in new environment. Once she feels home in new family, petty quarrels and angry outbursts do not matter. She would have faced all this in her father's home as well.

Anger is relative.If one speaks in angry the other hearing it also will feel angry.So he/she will rise the sound.So it will go on increasing.If first man control it it will be under control through out.