Group Discussion Contest JUne 19 to June 26

The main reason for breakage of families is due to thinking of men is like they are only the head of family and there is no need to them to listen the family member's advice.

The man also try to to lead the house as only by his way whether it is right way or not, this is a issue of quarrels.

the man think the woman is only for kitchen works she is not able to take right decisions.

the man think the woman is only for kitchen works she is not able to take right decisions.

I don't believe this is very valid nowadays. It might have been true at one point of time, but these days modern men don't expect women to confine themselves to the kitchen.

I'm not talking about the more rural areas, where even women believe that is their position in the household. There the very idea of divorce is foreign. In the more urban lifestyle, a man might expect his wife to cook for him, but he won't expect her to make that her life's work.

But the recent scenario is that men go to office and comes at some time.Women go to office and comes at another time.They meet rarely.Their children also sees them together rarely.So it goes mechanically and the love, care, passion etc are denied which leads to seeking them from some where.When it get from other source definitely we will get attracted in that side.

The main reason for breakage of families is due to thinking of men is like they are only the head of family and there is no need to them to listen the family member's advice.

The man also try to to lead the house as only by his way whether it is right way or not, this is a issue of quarrels.

the man think the woman is only for kitchen works she is not able to take right decisions.

Male ego may cause family breakage if the wife strongly resists and husband is stubborn. This is because both are not compatible. If some one wants educated and working woman, he should shed his male ego. The wife should also realize that male superiority complex is age old and it can not be vanished easily. So, some tolerance and patience is necessary. After some time, husband may come to understand that nobody is superior and both are equal partner in family. Patience, toleration and persuasion can solve all issues.

Always women take better decisions than men because they have lots of patience and also analysis well. They know each and everything what is going in the house and also knows which is best for whom. So as a result they will take a better decision than men who is rarely seen in the house and knows only partially about the happenings in the house. However the in-Law's will never accept it because they don't want the decision of a person who just joined them.

The reasons for families breaking are-

1.Overtime the passion to be together with one another dies, they do their own work(whoever the father/mother/child)

2.comparison starts to come eventually leading to complaints

3.As Maverick said, ego and stress attributes towards family breaking

4.No one is willing to find a solution to their problem, they just want to blame one another

Always women take better decisions than men because they have lots of patience and also analysis well. They know each and everything what is going in the house and also knows which is best for whom. So as a result they will take a better decision than men who is rarely seen in the house and knows only partially about the happenings in the house. However the in-Law's will never accept it because they don't want the decision of a person who just joined them.

I agree that most women have more patience and better understanding. The relations get often tense because the husband is a regular drunkard and cares little for family. Such situation is really test for patience. Always man is not at fault. always wife is not a fault. The couple should understand that everyone has his or her shortcomings. Nobody is perfect. The object should be to repair, rectify and mend rather than break. Humans are not like commodities that may be discarded if found substandard.

I know a woman, who rectified her drunkard husband in her own way. she insisted that he must come home in time. she allowed him modest drink at home. The husband was reformed. another woman adopted a more strict way. She would beat her husband with a cane every time he came home drunkard. One day, the man visited local police station with a complaint that his wife would beat him even for occasional and casual drink. The police reconciled and persuaded the wife to be a bit lenient.

Every day the dailie are filled with different family problems.through this discussion I think we can have a solution.

I'm jumping too late into the discussion but the topic interested me.

A family is built on trust and values.It could be nuclear or joint and no matter what ever pattern one may have,clashes are bound to happen.But the gaps widen when there is lack of communication and expression of feelings,whatever it may be feelings of happiness,appreciation,insecurity or even fear.

Also I believe the reason for not being compatible is due to expectations set.Be it anyone,husband-wife, parents or in-laws,the expectations have to be inset with changing times.

For example,Today a mother-in-law is expected to provide an open minded atmosphere for her daughter-in-law which she might not have in her time.Its tough for her now to give space when she never had it, or to expect less of chores done while her "bahu" is going out for work.Similarly, a husband has seen his mother give him alot of attention that his wife won't be able to match.Trivial things like this only fester up to become huge issues.

Its best we learn to communicate the minute we feel the rift due to mismatch of expectations so that things can be dealt with assertively.

I also feel that there has to be some disciplinary values that should be inculcated in a family,where the role of elders play a huge role.In absence of the value system in a family,breakages would be common.

Also there has to be a defined boundary set within a family especially if its a joint family.If not even nuclear families need to respect and set boundaries wherein parents and parent-in-laws along with the husband and wife should know what information should be shared and what should not.If a couple loses sight and donot have the key fundamental to safeguard their boundaries,what else can you expect but being vulenerable to breakage?

It is heartening that this time more members have contributed to Group discussion and expressed their valuable views of the topic of family break up.

In my concluding post, let me point out that family break up is mainly because of individualistic approach, underestimating importance of family as basic social unit and erosion of social and ethical values.

There should be some social content in school and college education highlighting value of family in society. Break up of family is not only an individual matter. This harms the entire society.

The couple and their guardians may think and plan thousand times before wedding. Once marriage has been solemnised, this should be considered unbreakable. The couple should also realize that break up of one relation is no guarantee that another relation with some other person will be intact.

Once, the couple as well as others concerned understand that the marital relation is unbreakable, love and care will flow. Every one has shortcomings. These need be rectified or tolerated. There is no other way. I remember a qoute- If you love me, love my dog.

All citizens, family members, institutions, counselors, judiciary should combine to maintain smooth running of families as social institutions. Families are grooming ground for future citizens of the nation. Some great man had remarked- Give me good mothers, I shall give strong nation.

Friends, Thanks for all of your rocking performance in this GD.Many had participated with full heart and expressed their views openly.Also I am happy to see Maverick in this GD.Now the time has over.So wait for the results and rock in next GD also like this.

All the best.