Funny jokes

What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
Answer – One Woman Brings you into this world crying…
&
the other ensures you Continue to do so.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

Boy:- I Love You..

Girl:- Saale shakl dekhi hai apni..

Boy:- Saali, Kutti, kamini,

lomadi ki sshakl wali,

ghunsa maar k naak tod dunga teri..

saali chuaidel dafa ho ja..

Girl :- Sorry, I love u too..

Youths are nowadays getting worse..

I was in a temple whn a guy next to me lit a cigaratte from aarthi..

I was shocked n almost dropped my beer bottle..

Why does the popcorn jump when kept on a hot stove??







Just Sit on the stove and see, you will know why it jumps..

Man: whatz the fee for getting divorce?

Lawer" Rs 50,000..

Man: But you took only rs 500 for getting us married?

Lawyer: Freedom is more expensive

:) thats really funny.....

I donot want to jump like pop corn :laugh:
:) :lol:

ha ha ha ha............. :laugh:

These are really very good ones........ :)

Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be great woman for you."
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Application and reply for a salary raise-

DeaRS

Like every otheRS, I need some ReSsurance in life. You know how much I have worked for yourRS oRganiSation and so I expect you to give me better offeRS.

Norwick

Dear NOrwick,

Hope you are doing well. you very well kNOw that our company is NOt in the best position. I am trying to use all my kNOw-how to recover it. I canNOt say anything more than this as you are more kNOwledgable.

Yes yes... I have read this somewhere, but in the joke I read, All the letters "S" would be replaced with "$" :laugh:

Yes.. I got the basic idea from there only!

Thats fine..... Its really great :) :)

Man: whatz the fee for getting divorce?

Lawer" Rs 50,000..

Man: But you took only rs 500 for getting us married?

Lawyer: Freedom is more expensive

Sajeetharan , This thread seen above also.Why you posted it twice?

yeah right. sorry for that.

Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?

Ans: If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would Cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day's Tremor and eventually cause the earth's crust to break apart and float into space. This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time.

Santa: "I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money."

Banta: "That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend."

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”

One Student: “Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

A beggar begs "Sir, please give me some money , I did not have anything to eat for the past 2 days.." So, a passerby places a few coins in his hand.

A small girl watching this from a distace asks her mother:
"Ma, Do beggars eat coins?"

Yes ---:)

If beggars can only eat coins... the corrupted person who takes bribes eats notes... :laugh: