Funny jokes

School Kid: Why are some of your hair white mom?

Mom: Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hair turns white.

Funny Kid thought for a moment, and then said, "Mamma, how come *all* of grandma’s hair are white?”

A Russian ship was sinking.

Captain: Does any one know how to pray?

An Indian priest (pandit) comes forward and says he can pray.

Captain: Ok priest, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket. We are short of one.

Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.

Blonde Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise, I would have died without it.

Blonde to servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It's raining.

Blonde: So what take an umbrella and go !!!

Very funny :laugh:
:laugh: :cheer: :woohoo:

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.

Blonde: Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it..

A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.

Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?

Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.

Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.

Japanese Prime Minister: Give me Bihar for 3 years, we will it into Japan.

Laloo: Give me Japan for 3 months, I will turn it into Bihar.

An old Nigger buys hearing aids from a doctor.

Doctor: Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.

Nigger: Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around them and listen to their conversations. In a month, I’ve changed my will three times!

Blonde Wife: Sweet Heart ! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.

Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.

:) The kid is very innocent to know this!!!

Nice one!

A newly wed Nigger wife talks to her husband.

Nigger Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?

Nigger Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.

First Kid: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.

Second Kid: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.

First Kid: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 yeas old at that time.

Patient: I have swallowed a key.

Sardar Doctor: When?

Patient: 3 months back!

Sardar Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Patient: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Santa: Why didn't you marry?

Banta: I was searching for an
ideal match.

Santa: So, you didn't find an ideal girl?

Banta: I found one.

Santa: Then?

Banta: She was also searching for an ideal match.

Laloo was writing something very slowly.

Santa: Why are you writing so slowly?

Laloo: I am writing to my 5 years old kid Jhurlu, he can't read very fast.

Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.

Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !!!

Patient: Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? Once a doctor was treating his patient with pneumonia but the patient died of typhus.

Funny Doctor: Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."

In a crowded elevator, an Indian Desi wife became angry with her naughty husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a beautiful girl. The girl suddenly slapped naughty Husband and said, "This will teach you not to pinch any girl in future".

Bewildered, "naughty" Husband was on the way to parking lot with his Wife when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."

"Ofcourse you didn't," said Wife consolingly. "I did".

In a crowded elevator, an Indian Desi wife became angry with her naughty husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a beautiful girl. The girl suddenly slapped naughty Husband and said, "This will teach you not to pinch any girl in future".

Bewildered, "naughty" Husband was on the way to parking lot with his Wife when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."

"Ofcourse you didn't," said Wife consolingly. "I did".