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Funny jokes

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Humor & Jokes
Wife says to husband: "I had a dream yesterday night that you gifted me with a diamond ring. Now, what does that mean"?

Husband says: "Am not sure, dear, Will let your know tonight"
Wife waits eagerly for her husband to return. The husband comes and gives her a pocket book- "The Meaning of dreams"!

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Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married.

Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage?

Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th.
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Little boy: Aunty, what is inside your stomach?

Pregnant Lady: It's a cute little baby.

Little Boy: If it is cute, why did u eat it?
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Santa: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me a drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender gives him a drink.

Santa again says: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender again gives him a drink.

Santa again asks for a drink as the fight is about to star.

Bartender: When on earth the fight will start?

Naughty Santa: When you will ask for money.
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A Drunk man points towards sky and asks another drunk: Is it sun or moon?

Second Drunk: I can't say what it is, because I am also new in the town.
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Musharraf joined Pakistani army and was given a gun.

Musharraf asked his Officer: Sir, to what side should I point its nozzle, towards myself or to the opposite side.

Officer: Stupid, keep it anyway, in both the cases it will benefit the nation.
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A Pakistani army soldier walks into his officer's room.

To impress him, the army office picks the phone, dials a number and said "Yes sir, I understand sir. I will tell the Prime Minister. Goodbye."

Looking at the soldier he barked "What do you want?"
"Nothing sir." he replied. "I just came to install your telephone."
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Girlfriend: I can't marry you. I am one year elder to you.

Boyfriend: Very Good, I love you so much that I can wait for you for one year.
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A Haryanvi Tau buys a ticket for Rs 100 and wins the lottery of 1 crore. He goes to claim it.

Haryanvi Tau: I want Rs 1 crore.

Lottery Agent: We give you 10 lakh today. The rest amount will be paid in next 6 months.

Haryanvi Tau: Oh, no! I want all my money right now. If you don't do it today, then I want my Rs 100 back.
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Laloo and his wife Rabri were angry with each other and were not talking to each other.

Laloo left a note on Rabri's bedside table, that said: "Dear Wife! Awake me at 5 am tomorrow."

Next morning, Laloo awoke at 8 am and saw a note on his bedside table: "Dear Husband It's 5 O' Clock, get up.
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Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Blonde Wife: Why three?

Annoyed Husband: For you and your parents.
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School Kid: Why are some of your hair white mom?

Mom: Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hair turns white.

Funny Kid thought for a moment, and then said, "Mamma, how come *all* of grandma’s hair are white?”
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A Russian ship was sinking.

Captain: Does any one know how to pray?

An Indian priest (pandit) comes forward and says he can pray.

Captain: Ok priest, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket. We are short of one.
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Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.

Blonde Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise, I would have died without it.
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Blonde to servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It's raining.

Blonde: So what take an umbrella and go !!!
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Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.

Blonde: Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it..
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A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.

Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?

Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.

Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
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Japanese Prime Minister: Give me Bihar for 3 years, we will it into Japan.

Laloo: Give me Japan for 3 months, I will turn it into Bihar.
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An old Nigger buys hearing aids from a doctor.

Doctor: Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.

Nigger: Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around them and listen to their conversations. In a month, I’ve changed my will three times!
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Blonde Wife: Sweet Heart ! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.

Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.
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Topic Author

S

Sridevi

@hello123

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Created Sunday, 16 May 2010 06:45
Last Updated Tuesday, 30 November -0001 00:00
Replies 0
Views 10.2K
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Humor & Jokes

Forum to share, read and enjoy interesting jokes and humor topics.

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