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Increasing Old Age Homes - A concern

I read somewhere, once Gandhiji told,he wish to close all old age homes of India. He told so in the pretext that grown up kids should look after their old parents, it's their responsibility. Apart from old age homes, 'day care centres for old people' is booming in Kerala. Though it may be business oriented, it gives relaxation time to senior citizens when they are alone at home after their kids go to offices. But what about old age homes? To bring down its number, what steps can be taken?

We all 100% put blame on kids for not looking after parents in old age. It's true to some extend too. There is an other side of same coin. It's the absence of strong bond which prompt children to dump their parents. Some kids are mean and selfish. But a few other cases exist where bad treating of daughter-in-laws may backfire them. When they are not willing to support daughter-in-laws and treat them as devils, they can never expect it back also. It may create restlessness environment inside the family, and explode some day when parents grew very old.

What I feel is, if parents treat daughter-in-laws as daughters, even if their sons dump them, daughter-in-laws wont. I can't claim it to be 100% correct in every case. But I do feel the need of a strong bond between the two generations, which can reduce old age homes to some extend. It also gives a better environment to young kids to grow and learn from their grandparents. What else? Any more ideas?



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Ill treatment of any elderly or for that matter any individual is not acceptable in any civilized society. I do agree with all your points expressed here. But I would like to mention one point which I think is valid for today's scenario.

We can not see old Age homes only as sign of rude and indecent children who refuse to take care of parents. The increase in number of such shelters even give a positive indication of society becoming more aware of the needs of these elderly people. If the elderly are forced to live in such homes, it is a grief. But it might be a situation that this works best for both the generation--Elders find their own engagement with their age group, more care without feeling to be a burden and the younger generation can aspire for their careers and other requirements. Some conditions in old age need constant supervision and for that specialized centers can be more beneficial.

It would be sad if they are abandoned by family in such homes. But if they are visited frequently by their kin, brought home regularly for holidays, festivals and every ocassion in the family, the plan might work out for both generations. 

Answered
Sandhya Rani Your idea looks nice. But unfortunately it remains a dream only. Kids who care about their parents so (if they are abroad or other parts of the country) can accommodate a maid to look after old parents. Dumping them to old home shelters to build big careers is not a healthy solution (if only parents don't wish so). In many cases, we can see in our society, whole property will be transferred to kids' name and later they have to hear bad things from son/daughter and in-laws which prompt them to move to some old age homes - Sandhya Rani - 8 years ago
Sandhya Rani Yes in many cases, old parents themselves move out of homes due to ill treat of young members. - Sandhya Rani - 8 years ago
usha manohar I totally agree with Arunimas views, change is an essence of life - usha manohar - 8 years ago
Arunima Singh my mentor who is now in her nineties stays in Nana Nani House in Coimbatore. She worked till 86 and then gave her property as donation to one school, chose to move to old age property. She is still engaged with translation of books and other stuff. She lost her husband last year but still refuses to stay with her children. She keeps visiting her children and grandchildren but chosses to stay on her own terms in her new old home - Arunima Singh - 8 years ago

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I would not like to see many old age homes. But, it might be a place where old friends meet and celebrate life. So, it would be nice for it to be like a creche for adults.

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I sometimes visit  an old age home called Ashraya situated on the outskirts of my city to see some relatives . This elderly couple decided to live in an old age home not because the children were ill treating them badly or they had no other option. It was mainly because their two daughters are married and  live in different cities but the couple prefer living in the city of their choice. After a certain stage in life, help is needed because of failing physical ability and strength, and when all your needs are taken care of under one roof why not make use of the opportunity? The place I visited is beautifully maintained, with a large expanse of garden around and individual cottages for the inmates, fruit trees etc and if course medical facilities and frequent travels organised by the home. Most importantly it provides companionship to people ..instead of criticising, I feel that we need to encourage it . There is no point in burdening your children simply in the name of duty when there are better alternatives. Children and parents can lead their individual life's independently which does not mean there is a breakdown in relationship.

Answered
Sandhya Rani Yes, what you told is correct. There exists a few old age homes which give good accommodation and other facilities to senior citizens. However such old homes is less in number. Parents should never feel that they are burdening their kids by staying with them during old ages. Like a son and daughter have duties to spouse and kids, they have duties to parents also, who are living at the last phase of their lives. Day care centres, as I told in the question is a nice provision. During day time they can stay relaxed in company of friends and in the evenings with kids and grandchildren by staying with them. By doing so they are passing a good teaching to their grand kids that they should also take care of their parents when they grow old. Such lessons are deeply imprinted in children's minds at a younger age, when their parents set good examples - Sandhya Rani - 8 years ago


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 increasing number of Old age homes are not a matter of concern. growing old age homes need not indicate that the senior citizens are being neglected by their children. It is a fact that grows old, the thoughts and beliefs may not be compatible with the thoughts and beliefs of their children. For example during religious functions, old parents force some rituals like fasting on their children. In such cases a friction may take place in the family. In order to avoid such ugly situations, There is nothing wrong if the children themselves take their parents to old age Homes.another factor to be taken in to consideration is, Children of the old parents may be working elsewhere for their lively hood.

Old people may feel lonely that may lead to many ailments.

For such old age people old age Homes are ideal. because old age homes the parents can enjoy the company of other Old age people

 Hence I am of the opinion that Old age Homes are necessary.

Answered
Sandhya Rani Finding happiness along with strangers than with family members during the last phase of life, doesn't it looks strange? Does it shows the absence of bonding and respect between two generations in the present technology world, which was once abundant 25-50 years ago? - Sandhya Rani - 8 years ago
rambabu There are always Ifs and Buts. The values of life deteriorating day by day in this fast age. What I mentioned above is in a family that itself is turbulent. If the family is turbulent , what else could old parents ? - rambabu - 8 years ago
Sandhya Rani emotional attachment has gone down definitely. Everyone thinks practically than emotionally nowdays - Sandhya Rani - 8 years ago


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