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Why most parents deny to accept privileges from daughters?

Today an old man of age 75+ came to our door to sell a local product of floor cleaner. He was very weak and I felt pity to him. He said, "My health is not stable now, after I fell off a wall a few years back. So I am selling this product and I will get commission. Please help me by taking one or two packets. Every month I earn 5000 rupees this way, enough for my medicines. "Don't you have kids?", I asked.



"Yes I have, but both are daughters and both are married off. How can I ask them money? It's better I work for my expenses and medicines."







Who is responsible? The society in which we lives...the society still consider women to be the weaker section who can't take responsibilities and they don't have enough freedom to look after their old parents even though they sincerely want to..... Or is it a tradition that is being passed from one generation to next, never accept anything from daughters, it's against family pride.... Don't you think we need to rethink about this matter? Now in the generation of atomic families, how can a couple expect to get at least one son who can take care of them when they become old. So, don't daughters have the responsibility to help their old parents? Or should it be left as the duty of sons only?


Category: Family & Relationships

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i agree to great extent I feel the same. I will not accept help from my only child a daughter although she earns almost 13 lacs per month in Indian currency. Maybe one day when I shall have no options left...who knows?
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Sandhya Rani I think you are the best person to answer this question among all Boddunan members...

I was waiting.....hihi
- Sandhya Rani - 10 years ago


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I agree the parents take care of daughters and sons equally..so why can't daughters take care of their old parents..it is very much the duty of the daughters to provide for their parents' needs in case they don't have a brother, son. But, the fact is that the daughters should be earning and not a homemaker..this itself takes away the right from the daughter to take care of her parents...parents usually don't wish to take anything from their son-in-law..it is against their pride and self-esteem and it can hurt their sentiments. I think this is the reason why parents refuse any kind of financial help from their daughters. Also, in certain cases if the daughter is earning, parents still refuse..because it is in their minds...that only sons are supposed to take care of old, ailing parents.
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Nowadays most daughters are quite willing and capable of taking care of their parents, but in majority of such cases, it is parents who refuse any help from the daughters. It comes from the foolish, old belief that daughters belong to others and hence any help or assistance from married daughters is not good. Parents should also now accept that times have changed and such beliefs no longer are relevant.
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Traditinally daughters are considered 'paraya dhan' (others' property). They are inlaws family members. So parents consider a sin to get anything from daughter. I remember from my childhood memory that people would not even accept hospitality in aughters' house. sometimes they would pay cash for anything served to them in daughter's inlaws house.
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I think this feeling is because of sending the to other person house,so daughter have no right to keep the parents with her.if she works and earn money she can bring her parents undoudtedly and girls parents can go without any doudts.

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Parents should not feel that they cannot rely on daughters when they need their help. At the same time, daughters certainly have to support their parents at the time of need.

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If the daughter is living separately with her family where there are no inlaws and sisters inlaws, parents do not mind in accepting help from their daughters. Otherwise parents fear that helping the parents will be taken in a wrong way due to which their daughter's marital life will be in danger.
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That trend is slowly vanishing with more girls working and sometimes earning more than their husbands, they would like to help when there is need. Boys too  understand that at times  their own wives may want to help out their parents when they are in need.

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