Funny jokes

Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!

Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£

Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes u cos u r a:


A.Cunt B.Wanka

C.Rsole D.Twat



50/50



Phone a friend?


RING ME! I'LL TELL U!

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.

Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for selfish.

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

There is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!

When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai!

@akash

you are good at jokes i guess.

its good habit 2 make other laugh

keep going.
:woohoo: :laugh: :woohoo: :laugh: :woohoo:

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

A sign seen outside a gym:

"Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!" :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

B)
No way, she has to surrender. Be careful with his husband,because he is ready to answer.

and second thing is she has to ask like this " I was not dreaming about book" give me the diamond,. :woohoo:

then husband will like: :ohmy:

ha ha ha

very funny !!

Nice jokes!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Legal voting age for boys-18,legal marrying age for boys-21.
What does it prove?.
It proves you need more experience to control a wife than a country...

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich.

He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn’t even pay for your sandwich!”

“Hey, man, I’m a PANDA!” the panda shouts back. “Look it up!”

The manager opens his dictionary and reads: “Panda: a tree-dwelling mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: