Open Means Open Means

Funny jokes

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Humor & Jokes
Wife says to husband: "I had a dream yesterday night that you gifted me with a diamond ring. Now, what does that mean"?

Husband says: "Am not sure, dear, Will let your know tonight"
Wife waits eagerly for her husband to return. The husband comes and gives her a pocket book- "The Meaning of dreams"!

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Santa is the true music lover.
A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking a bath and Santa is near the keyhole listening to her.
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Santa being romantic to his wife.
“One day God tested me , erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told Him your name and He replied, “I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted””
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Santa’s wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.
Santa: What was that for?
Santa’s Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it.
Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.
Santa’s wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.
Santa: now what happened?
Santa’s wife: your horse is on the phone.
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Santa tells his dad, “Pappaji there is this kid in school who calls me gay”
Santa’s Dad:” Oye beta then punch him!!!”
Santa: “ No papa he is sooooooo cute!!!”
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Do you drink? Girl’s father asked Santa. Santa says “ first tell me whether it’s a question or invitation?”
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Santa taking grammar lessons
“If more than one mouse is mice then more than one spouse is spice!!!!”
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Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer Santa: That is not restricted.
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Santa: oye waiter ek mast chai pilao jo pura badan hila de.
Waiter: hamare yahan gaai ka doodh aata hai , Rakhi Sawant ka nahin.
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Santa’s wife: Oye JI stop looking at other women you are married now.
Santa: Arre you mean if I am on diet I cant look at the menu also?
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Santa and Banta were looking at an Egyptian Mummy at a museum.
Santa: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta: Yes you are right. See lorry number is also written BC 1760 !!!
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Teacher: Which animal flies in the air, but gives birth to young ones on land?
Santa (excited for the first time because he knows the answer)
Santa: AIRHOSTESS!!!!
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Santa: That girl is deaf
Banta: How do you know?
Santa: I said I love her, she said her chapels are new
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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
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Banta: When I get mad at u, u never fight back. How do u control ur anger?
Preeto: I clean the toilet.
Banta: How does that help?
Preeto: I use ur toothbrush.
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Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
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Santa bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!
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Titanic was sinking. Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards!
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Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
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Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job."
Banta: "Did you?"
Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."
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Banta ek Sadhu se bola: " Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao."
Sadhu: "Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?"
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Topic Author

S

Sridevi

@hello123

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Created Sunday, 16 May 2010 06:45
Last Updated Tuesday, 30 November -0001 00:00
Replies 0
Views 10.2K
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Humor & Jokes

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