Funny jokes

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Santa:Q: Why dogs don't marry? BantaA: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!

Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died.
Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

How did Panditji Kill a Lion?
Panditji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let the lion eat me.
Hari Om!

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.

Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!