Group Discussion Contest July 10th to July 18th!

Some have rightly stated that old age home is no substitute for own home. I agree. That is why I favor old age home as last resort. When some one is old and infirm and no family member to look after, old age home is the only alternative.

Here I may also compare old age to childhood. These days both parents go for job. The send their infants to child day care centers. This as also a topic for a GD. similar is case with aged. When son and daughter in law both go for job and the old man is infirm and sick, old age home may be good alternative just as day care center is for babies. However, even if the oldies are sent to old age home for better care, their families should not ignore them and visit them regularly. Old age is also a sort of illness and so old age home may be seen as a nursing home.

Incidentally, all oldies are not infirm and physically incapable. Many are healthy even at eighty and can well live in own house by themselves. The best thing is that everyone should remain active and mentally positive always. One may reduce physical activity on getting old but not finish this. There is a tendency in Indian families that when son grows up and is married, the old man and the woman stop working and depend on son and daughter in law. This happens even at age of just fifty years.

Some have rightly stated that old age home is no substitute for own home. I agree. That is why I favor old age home as last resort. When some one is old and infirm and no family member to look after, old age home is the only alternative.

Here I may also compare old age to childhood. These days both parents go for job. The send their infants to child day care centers. This as also a topic for a GD. similar is case with aged. When son and daughter in law both go for job and the old man is infirm and sick, old age home may be good alternative just as day care center is for babies. However, even if the oldies are sent to old age home for better care, their families should not ignore them and visit them regularly. Old age is also a sort of illness and so old age home may be seen as a nursing home.

Incidentally, all oldies are not infirm and physically incapable. Many are healthy even at eighty and can well live in own house by themselves. The best thing is that everyone should remain active and mentally positive always. One may reduce physical activity on getting old but not finish this. There is a tendency in Indian families that when son grows up and is married, the old man and the woman stop working and depend on son and daughter in law. This happens even at age of just fifty years.

Very true ! In fact, in most families the grand parents are the glorified nannies for their grand children.Nothing wrong in helping out but, it should not become a burden on them.In my town there was a case where an elderly couple were run over by a bus when they were bringing the 2 grandchildren home.One of the child ran to the other side and while trying to bring him back they got run over since both were slow due to their age.
Another issue is that many children work abroad and no doubt send enough money to their parents, but who is to take care of them ? There are several cases where the old people have themselves decided to join a old age home because they felt that was the best option available to them.

The senior citizens living alone in cities like Delhi have a security problem also. There are many criminals who target the senior citizens living alone. Several incidents of murder of senior citizens for robbing them of belongings have taken place in national capital. This issue is as significant as that of rape of working women at odd hours while returning home. The police need to provide special security for senior citizens living alone as they are very vulnerable. In many cases, the domestic servants are involved.

Apparently, old age homes are safer.

The senior citizens living alone in cities like Delhi have a security problem also. There are many criminals who target the senior citizens living alone. Several incidents of murder of senior citizens for robbing them of belongings have taken place in national capital. This issue is as significant as that of rape of working women at odd hours while returning home. The police need to provide special security for senior citizens living alone as they are very vulnerable. In many cases, the domestic servants are involved.

Apparently, old age homes are safer.

I agree with your point in recent years there have been many instances when the seniour citizens are murdered or robbed but i don't think it a valid reason for them to stay in the old age homes. :blink: This eventually can happen with any one and it happes but media highlights it when it happens with old people. :evil:

No doubt old age homes are safer but i think they need affection of their owns more than the safety :blink: .House build of walls are not enough for someone to live they need our support too. :blink:

Though hardly it happens as Devyani said most of the people don't understand their responsibility towards their parents once they get old they are thought to be like a scrap lying in a corner of the house. :evil:

We need to change this mentality but its tough as now people are more keen to adopt western culture blindly but they forget that in western country parents ask their kids also to stay alone and live their life separately does not matter if a kid is capable of living separately or not which rarely happens here. :blink:

In old age home they get also assistance and help of many other ol aged people.

I believe that many people don't have mentality to live with their old parents. They feel it bothersome. They somehow try to get rid of responsibilities. Very few people live with their parents and feel that they should live with them forever. They face many situation but they don't leave their parents alone.
Oldage homes are for those people who are old and alone. However, the youngsters have changed the motive behind the rise of such homes for old peoples. They send their parents to oldage homes to get rid of their responsibilities.
On the other hand, grandparents and parents they them self leave their children and start living in oldage homes because they want to live peacefull and happy last days of life.
According to me, problem lies in the mind of people. Their mentality should be changed. Education is not enough for them. Social awareness is necessary.

Devyani you caught the point and if any have some moral sense then they don't behave like this.We should teach our children from childhood about morality.

I would like to divert your attention one more and yet very important point.

It is not just unwillingness on the part of the children to look after their aged parents, but also to the fact, that in many cases the aged parents suffer from complicated diseases such as Alzheimer's etc. This requires specialized and attentive full time care which may not be possible if their children are working and many times, they are also not financially able to provide such care. At such times, old age homes provide the solution as they can provide both medical as well as palliative care to the aged. Please consider this point in your arguments too.

There are so many reasons those should be considered in this matter. I though it over seriously and reached to the conclusion that this is neither children' choice nor parents who are willing to live in an old age home but there are some unavoidable circumstances, which drive them to stay there.
For instance some people have no one to take care of them while they need it as every one knows that this is considered son's responsibility to take care of parents daughters are no lesser caring these days. Anyway, the question is if old persons have to stay in old age homes- Isn't it the responsibility of our government to provide them a proper shelter and decent living and proper treatment that they need most? If government can spend such a huge amount on unproductive expenditures, why can't they arrange for much needed shelters senior citizens? I salute NGOs doing great job running Helpage, Sandhya, Aradhna, Pitra Raksha and many such homes.
I shall be pleased to see our governments coming forward and take care of old people with immediate effect.

There are so many reasons those should be considered in this matter. I though it over seriously and reached to the conclusion that this is neither children' choice nor parents who are willing to live in an old age home but there are some unavoidable circumstances, which drive them to stay there.
For instance some people have no one to take care of them while they need it as every one knows that this is considered son's responsibility to take care of parents daughters are no lesser caring these days. Anyway, the question is if old persons have to stay in old age homes- Isn't it the responsibility of our government to provide them a proper shelter and decent living and proper treatment that they need most? If government can spend such a huge amount on unproductive expenditures, why can't they arrange for much needed shelters senior citizens? I salute NGOs doing great job running Helpage, Sandhya, Aradhna, Pitra Raksha and many such homes.
I shall be pleased to see our governments coming forward and take care of old people with immediate effect.

But do you think government would be able to spend that much money?. :blink: The answer is "NO".When they have fixed pension of 1000~1500 Rs for them and they think that it is sufficient for them still do you think they would spend millions of money on the old age homes. :blink:

If they do it then it would be the best place for them to live.

:)

Sure Government should come forward for such Old age home.. But SJ is right. I don't think they are even thinking about them. Or I have never heard about Government helping some Old age home.

SJ.. I still think home with family is the best place to live.. Not all people think about money in old age.. Family is more important.. So it can't be best place for sure.

There are so many reasons those should be considered in this matter. I though it over seriously and reached to the conclusion that this is neither children' choice nor parents who are willing to live in an old age home but there are some unavoidable circumstances, which drive them to stay there.
For instance some people have no one to take care of them while they need it as every one knows that this is considered son's responsibility to take care of parents daughters are no lesser caring these days. Anyway, the question is if old persons have to stay in old age homes- Isn't it the responsibility of our government to provide them a proper shelter and decent living and proper treatment that they need most? If government can spend such a huge amount on unproductive expenditures, why can't they arrange for much needed shelters senior citizens? I salute NGOs doing great job running Helpage, Sandhya, Aradhna, Pitra Raksha and many such homes.
I shall be pleased to see our governments coming forward and take care of old people with immediate effect.

I agree that the NGOs are doing good job. In fact, I have also been contributing to Helpage. Helpage provides financial assistant to many old age organizations in India. In fact, Help Age is apex body. Help Age has huge funds at disposal. Help Age is also running some mobile vans for medical care, conducts cataract operations and runs some old age homes. There is need to strengthen such organizations.

Government gives rebate in income tax under Section 80(G) to donors.

The senior citizens living alone in cities like Delhi have a security problem also. There are many criminals who target the senior citizens living alone. Several incidents of murder of senior citizens for robbing them of belongings have taken place in national capital. This issue is as significant as that of rape of working women at odd hours while returning home. The police need to provide special security for senior citizens living alone as they are very vulnerable. In many cases, the domestic servants are involved.

Apparently, old age homes are safer.

This is good point of view. However, I feel that it is suitable for nuclear families. People having big family are always surrounded by their family members, especially grand-children. In such cases, grandparents staying in oldage home is really not at all necessary. Regarding theft and robbery, there are several ways of facing the situations. Recently, I heard a lady won bravery award "CID veerta award" from the TV serial "CID" because she has protected her husband and house from robbers. Old people are not totally helpless. They are experienced and they can find their own ways and means. They are necessary in our life because we learn a lot from them.

This issue always makes my heart burn. Recently I visited USA for couple of months. I was shocked to see that no children are ready to take care of their old parents. Instead they prefer to keep them at orphange ,old age or nursing home. In USA old people would stay in nursing home for years together, no one would visit them for months.
As compared to them our condition is better but now we people are also changing. We see the same changes in our life. Most of them dont prefer the parents with them as they feel parents may cause burden or obstacle in their life. but such people forget that no one would love and care for them more than their parents.

Is it mean, USA and some other Countries having this thing more in compare of our country? Honestly speaking, I haven't sen any old age home in my city.. I may be wrong if i missed any.. But mostly all kids love their parents, and take care of them till end.

I believe that many people don't have mentality to live with their old parents. They feel it bothersome. They somehow try to get rid of responsibilities. Very few people live with their parents and feel that they should live with them forever. They face many situation but they don't leave their parents alone.
Oldage homes are for those people who are old and alone. However, the youngsters have changed the motive behind the rise of such homes for old peoples. They send their parents to oldage homes to get rid of their responsibilities.
On the other hand, grandparents and parents they them self leave their children and start living in oldage homes because they want to live peacefull and happy last days of life.
According to me, problem lies in the mind of people. Their mentality should be changed. Education is not enough for them. Social awareness is necessary.

Devyani you caught the point and if any have some moral sense then they don't behave like this.We should teach our children from childhood about morality.

I would like to divert your attention one more and yet very important point.

It is not just unwillingness on the part of the children to look after their aged parents, but also to the fact, that in many cases the aged parents suffer from complicated diseases such as Alzheimer's etc. This requires specialized and attentive full time care which may not be possible if their children are working and many times, they are also not financially able to provide such care. At such times, old age homes provide the solution as they can provide both medical as well as palliative care to the aged. Please consider this point in your arguments too.

That is a very practical point and there are many such cases where the old parents are simply neglected by the children.To be fair , one has to look at it from their point of view as well, many families are struggling to exist , both working,may be clearing a loan,having the responsibility of bringing up their children etc .In most middle class families spending money on old people is considered a waste,I am being brutally frank here since I have seen this happening at relatives and friends houses .This happens even after the parents give away their life savings and everything else to the children.
If the parents were a little wiser , prepared for their old age and kept some money aside they wouldn't be in such a condition.They have the option of joining an old age home and living a relatively peaceful and probably a happier life .
I am reminded of the film 'Baghban , which of course was grossly exaggerated , where the elderly couple suffer because they dint plan for their later years in life !

In USA this situation is more common because most of the elder's suffer from mental disorders or some psychological problems and hence the young people in USA prefer to keep their parents at old age home or nursing home. It is very difficult to take the responsibilities of such people especially if both husband and wife are office going.
But in our country old people usually do not suffer from mental disorders as compared to other countries. But still people like to keep their parents at oldage home. It is only due to lack of taking the responsibilities and want of freedom.
Some of them dont have choice. If a old couple has all daughters and no son then this problem arises a lot.Because once daughter gets married there is no one to take care of such old couple, at such time they have to stay at oldage home or nursing home.

if both husband and wife are busy then no problem but ignoring responsibility is vary bad.

In USA this situation is more common because most of the elder's suffer from mental disorders or some psychological problems and hence the young people in USA prefer to keep their parents at old age home or nursing home. It is very difficult to take the responsibilities of such people especially if both husband and wife are office going.
But in our country old people usually do not suffer from mental disorders as compared to other countries. But still people like to keep their parents at oldage home. It is only due to lack of taking the responsibilities and want of freedom.
Some of them dont have choice. If a old couple has all daughters and no son then this problem arises a lot.Because once daughter gets married there is no one to take care of such old couple, at such time they have to stay at oldage home or nursing home.

I think in US they do it because the government provide good facilities to them moreover the living cost there is very high as compared to INDIA so people prefer to stay in the old age homes rather to remain dependent on their kids or any one else. :blink: But here in India government don't have that much money to spend. :blink:

In USA this situation is more common because most of the elder's suffer from mental disorders or some psychological problems and hence the young people in USA prefer to keep their parents at old age home or nursing home. It is very difficult to take the responsibilities of such people especially if both husband and wife are office going.
But in our country old people usually do not suffer from mental disorders as compared to other countries. But still people like to keep their parents at oldage home. It is only due to lack of taking the responsibilities and want of freedom.
Some of them dont have choice. If a old couple has all daughters and no son then this problem arises a lot.Because once daughter gets married there is no one to take care of such old couple, at such time they have to stay at oldage home or nursing home.

These days women are also working and asserting themselves. They can also accommodate their own parents with themselves. More so, when there are no sons. One of my maternal uncle has only two daughters and no son. He lives with one of his daughters. There is no problem. It is necessary to change mindset. If daughters can live with their parents in law, they may also with own parents. This is far better than sending the senior citizen to old age home.

In U.S.A. and Canada, senior citizens' health is better than their Indian counterparts. Culture being different, they live separate from their children. In old age homes, the senior citizens enjoy indoor games. Being of same age, the senior citizens give good company to each other. They also go for picnic and visit malls travelling in vehicles specially for their use.

Every senior citizen in Canada gets pension. I know of one friend of my late father. He gets pension in India as well as in Canada. Hence, he spends some time in Canada and some in India.

The concept of old age home in India is not in tune with Indian culture and traditions. Here this is only last option.

Now, most of the children after their parents get old, they are joining them in old age homes. As when the parents become old they have more health problems and alot of problems which children should serve them. As children does not have patience to serve them and they bad also. and finally they admit their parents in the old age homes.

I feel this is really cruilty of children towards their parents.

when the children are in small age, parents looked after them so carefully, until kid eat the food they never drop down. I mean they never stop. Keep on making them to eat. When their kid is not well, they couldn't even blink their eye to sleep. They took that much care to them. But same children when parents became old. they feel that parents are waste material and they admit them in old age home as dust into dust mean.

Actually, at such old age, parents expect love and affection and smile of their children towards them. But children are throwing their parents into the old age hope. which make the parents feel very bad and sad. I feel when old age parents or grand parents are much old they should not be joined old age homes. they should be in our homes and we should make them be happy every minutes of their live.
At least for the sake that they have given us birth. If they feel that they don't want you. Then you wont be alive not. or if they feel they throw you into dust bin then you will be an orphan. but they never do that. They have sacrificed alot for their children sake. so such a valuable parents how can we admit them in old age home.

Near to my home, there is a old age home. Before when i used to cross it , i used to feel that all poor old age people are living there and i felt to donate some money. so just informed my mom. Then she just gathered information about that old age home. Then i got known that, it is old age home, where the old age people who are the parents of big industry owners. As they are not interested to look after their parents, so they joined them over here. I felt so sad and bad. I felt how much big position i go or my brother go or how much small position we go, but we will never neglect our parents when they are in old age.