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Hello friends, back with a new topic:

The topic for this week's discussion is

'Old Age Home - the permanent address of our aging people?

With more and more nuclear families coming into being, there is less and less place in our lives for our aged parents and grandparents. For some, it may be a hard choice but for some, selfish reasons of their own. What is your take on it? Any alternatives for such arrangements! All the best!!

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Yes this irony we forget our parents and grandparents once we have our own family intentially or due to some compulsion. :evil: I have seen lot of cases though where people don't leave then but torture them with their deeds which is more painful for them. :evil: Recently i read a story in a book where a son takes her mother to foreign giving her a lust that they will keep her with them and left her alone in that country and his motive to bring her with him was to sell that ancestor's house where she was living since she got married. :( And there he left her somewhere in that country alone.Her mother thought that her son missed her and will come to take her from that place but he did not. :evil: There she was taken by one Gujarati family who kept her in their house like their mother and once her son comes to meet her to get some money again she denied to recognise him this time :) .It was painful to read that story as how a son can leave his mother alone somewhere where she has no way to go. :)
This is a very burning and timely topic. Industrialization and urbanization broke joint families. The nuclear families consisting of spouses and small children move out to distant places leaving behind the old behind.

Personally, I am living my younger brother at Agra. I have no children whereas his two sons are abroad with family. So, we both aged brothers (in fact, he is just a little above sixty) have to live by ourselves. Luckily, we both are still working and there is no problem. But many have health related problems and need younger ones to care for them. In these circumstances, there is no alternative to old age homes where medical care and other facilities can be provided to aged. Even when the oldies are in old age homes, their near ones should not neglect them and even from distance care for them. They may contact the old age home manager and periodically inquire about their elders and when possible visit personally. This is like visiting the sick to hospitals.

G. K. Ajmani Tax consultant
http://gkajmani-mystraythoughts.blogspot.com/

Unless there is a genuine reason, I would never think in my wildest of dreams about sending aging parents to a place where no one would be interested to take good care of them. How can I sleep and have dreams of a grand future while my parents who spent their whole life making their children educated and stand on their feet.
This would be too painful an imagination where my parents standing in a row with a dish in their hands waiting for their turn for meals. That would be the day for me as an Indian to be ashamed of myself.
Yes in case there is no one to look after them then this is Government's duty to look after them with all the respect and care they deserve. I think there is much more to be done for them.

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One mother is requesting God to live at least 80 years as at that time her son's age will be 60 and want to see his son's position . her grand son would send him to old age home or not.She is ready to share all the pains with her son when he will be send.At present she can leave with all sweet memories with her son.The son held her with his arms in fear also he could not eat with his own hand. the mother was bound to help in all step.the first days with sleepless night,those days of first school and collage. After few days all are changed. Now when she can not work and there is no need of her then she became a burden and send to old age home.
This is common and we forget the all dues of parents which can not be re payed.
sacrifice and their well wish make us stable and we should not behave with them like this.
Old age home is necessary to those who has no follower and then they may kept here. but those who has all should not be send. At last they want to stay with their grand children and want to share in all happiness and sorrowfulness.
If two or three people can stay then they also can stay . When we were unable to walk alone then they help us and now when they need our's help then old age home-WHY?
Also seen we can spend money on pets or other social activities then why can not spend on aged parents.
The one and only cause may be the quarrel between wife and mother-in-law.A girl should adjust and understand the problem of mother.Before marriage the child asks everything to mother but after then a new member enters in life. Mother should also understand and adjust the matter and the fact that a girl comes leaving her parents and all memories.Both are in different era,so there should be difference in understanding. but should adjust.
Adjustment and sacrifice can make a family and life so beautiful and happy.
So if possible then live all together .
It can be said in future your child may follow your all activities.

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I don't agree for old age homes as our parents and grandparents are our liabilities and we must look after them as this is like a cycle which must continue. :)

I know people become careless for them once our parents grow old and need someone to take care of them but how could we leave them on their own who gave us birth and gave us the opportunity to see this world and make us to stand on our own feet. :evil:

Old age homes is a good solution when one is not financially capable of bearing their living and medicinal cost otherwise i don't think it is as i know when someone becomes old he/she wants to be with his/her own people.I have seen my grandmother how she wanted us to stay with her at her last moments. :blink:
I don't agree for old age homes as our parents and grandparents are our liabilities and we must look after them as this is like a cycle which must continue. :)

I know people become careless for them once our parents grow old and need someone to take care of them but how could we leave them on their own who gave us birth and gave us the opportunity to see this world and make us to stand on our own feet. :evil:

Old age homes is a good solution when one is not financially capable of bearing their living and medicinal cost otherwise i don't think it is as i know when someone becomes old he/she wants to be with his/her own people.I have seen my grandmother how she wanted us to stay with her at her last moments. :blink:


I also do not agree with old age home as a routine way to accommodate old. This must be last resort. Old age home is not required just for the financially weak. The oldie may be financially well off but without any family member to take care of them. In these circumstances many oldies themselves opt for old age home and they pay the for their expenses.

Old age home should be last resort only for another reason. such homes are not adequate to house all the oldies. So, only very deserving oldies should go there only as a last resort.

The best thing is that children of the old people should keep them with themselves wherever they go. In this connection, I may cite best example in my own family. Since very childhood, I saw my grandparents living with us. My father and uncles were all in transferable posts and most employed in armed forces. My grand parents would visit my uncles also some times and even go for pilgrimage. They would ultimately return to my parents. Their address was always my parents' address.

The oldies are generally not totally incapable of movement or bed ridden. with positive attitude and physical movement/ exercise they can maintain good health till end of life. When they have enough funds, they can gift to their children and grandchildren on various occasions and even pay a part of rent of accommodation hired by their children. This will enable children to afford a bigger and spacious accommodation and provide better facilities like separate room, T.V. set to them in their room. The oldies should not sit idle all the time but may even be of help. It is necessary that oldies also do not interfere too much with their children affairs. It is necessary for both- old and young to understand each other and respect each other's freedom.

G. K. Ajmani Tax consultant
http://gkajmani-mystraythoughts.blogspot.com/

The very fact that there are more and more old age homes coming up in our country shows that there is a demand for it.This shows the changing trend in our society .This is one part of the issue.
When we consider the realities, most people would want to oppose the issue of sending their parents to an old age home.They would rather have their parents live in misery often not giving them any kind of freedom .I have seen many people do this to their parents.But they also go round saying that they would never send their parents to an old age home .Isn't this double standard ?

I have visited a couple of old age homes , one meant for those who are financially well off. This place had all the amenities and comforts that one wanted, also the opportunity to interact and have a social life of their own.A couple of other old age homes were run by Christian institutes and I was amazed at the way they were maintained.Every corner was spic and span and the residents were very happy.In fact I went to visit an old friend who lives in one such old age home which takes a nominal sum from the residents and mostly run with the donations got from outsiders .She has one daughter who is married and living in the US, the old lady wants to live in India and opted to join the old age home .She seems very comfortable there and wants to continue living there.
I personally would never want my mother or any other close relative to live in a old age home, but when there is no other alternative, it is definitely an option that is worth considering !

Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead !!!

This is sad that people don't respect their parents and send them to such old age home. It is very sad and I am really surprised how can they leave their parents like that. It is sad thing that people need of place like Old age home, but as few people just throw out their parents for their selfish reasons, there should be place like this for those old people.

ANDROIOS: http://androios-tweaks.blogspot.com
Although there is increase in old age homes, the fact remains that most senior citizens live with their families. There has been a large increase in population and proportion of senior citizens is also increasing. The overall position is not so bad. Those in old age homes are a very small segment of whole society. Even in most ideal conditions, there will always be some without support- physical or financial from their own children. In some cases, the senior citizens do not have any younger one to look after them.

Most pathetic condition is of financially weak oldies. They need not only physical but also financial support. There is need to look after them same way as orphaned children are. They should be accommodated in old age homes that should be financed by government. Such collective financing may be far better than giving old age pension to individuals.

G. K. Ajmani Tax consultant
http://gkajmani-mystraythoughts.blogspot.com/

Actually I am not much aware with this thing. Can anyone tell me, Is old age home only provide purpose of giving home to those old age people who are not living in their home anymore? Or they giving financial help and few other help too. And what about food?

ANDROIOS: http://androios-tweaks.blogspot.com
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