Group Discussion Contest July 10th to July 18th!

When I think about old people or small children I feel that both need care...In case of small children if we don't take proper care it may effect their future...While that's not the case of old people as most of them need a support and presence of people so that they don't feel depressed or lonely...
It's quiet common to be depressed or lonely in old age as our mind mostly thinks about past rather than present or future...So they need diversion from such type of thinking...

Old age home may create such atmosphere where old people indulge themselves in various activities with others, provided if the old age home is not looking for its own profits...

I too agree with @gulshan that if both the couples are busy then old age home is the only good option left.. while its not good to leave them alone if they are facing some serious health problems as emotion support is needed..
Normally old age homes can never give that emotional support...though they can give 24 hours support for nursing...

There is negative and positive aspects too...

Well its true that in other countries like US and CANADA the concept of old age homes is quiet common...but in India its not. People don't leave their children even after 18 years here, while its quiet common that they are ready to leave their old parents.. in such case something is better then nothing....keep them in old age homes in much better than leaving them somewhere as orphans... :( Old age home concept should be adopted if people think they are busy and don't want their parents as companions. Though it may sound harass but the fact is leaving them alone is much worst than giving them a secured home..

In USA this situation is more common because most of the elder's suffer from mental disorders or some psychological problems and hence the young people in USA prefer to keep their parents at old age home or nursing home. It is very difficult to take the responsibilities of such people especially if both husband and wife are office going.
But in our country old people usually do not suffer from mental disorders as compared to other countries. But still people like to keep their parents at oldage home. It is only due to lack of taking the responsibilities and want of freedom.
Some of them dont have choice. If a old couple has all daughters and no son then this problem arises a lot.Because once daughter gets married there is no one to take care of such old couple, at such time they have to stay at oldage home or nursing home.

These days women are also working and asserting themselves. They can also accommodate their own parents with themselves. More so, when there are no sons. One of my maternal uncle has only two daughters and no son. He lives with one of his daughters. There is no problem. It is necessary to change mindset. If daughters can live with their parents in law, they may also with own parents. This is far better than sending the senior citizen to old age home.

Yes parents can stay with theirs daughters but what if the daughters stay far in some other countries? The problem arises their. At such cases I think parents must stay with either of them in other country for couple of months and for few months they can stay in their own country.This choice would be better that staying in old age home.

I agree with @Devyani that old people are much experienced then us and are always needed..but its only applicable for people who believe they are worthable.
I have seen a old age home near our house once where most of the old people were deceived by their children that they are going to stay in proper house...Its really heartbreaking that they were tortured daily without giving proper food or amenities....in addition to that the caretakers use to do illegal activities at night along with the doctor who was also a founder.. :( :angry:
In such case its better for them stay at home lonely rather than get tortured...

In U.S.A. and Canada, senior citizens' health is better than their Indian counterparts. Culture being different, they live separate from their children. In old age homes, the senior citizens enjoy indoor games. Being of same age, the senior citizens give good company to each other. They also go for picnic and visit malls travelling in vehicles specially for their use.

Every senior citizen in Canada gets pension. I know of one friend of my late father. He gets pension in India as well as in Canada. Hence, he spends some time in Canada and some in India.

The concept of old age home in India is not in tune with Indian culture and traditions. Here this is only last option.

In USA if u see the oldage homes, they are luxurious apartment with all the amenities in the apartment. The nurses are well mannered, polite and always smiling, willing to do any work for those old people. When I saw that old age home I was stunned . The old people enjoyed their life there. They get all the respect which they expect from others and thats y they njoy being there.
I hope our country also provides such facility so that the old people can live their life lively at the last moment.

In U.S.A. and Canada, senior citizens' health is better than their Indian counterparts. Culture being different, they live separate from their children. In old age homes, the senior citizens enjoy indoor games. Being of same age, the senior citizens give good company to each other. They also go for picnic and visit malls travelling in vehicles specially for their use.

Every senior citizen in Canada gets pension. I know of one friend of my late father. He gets pension in India as well as in Canada. Hence, he spends some time in Canada and some in India.

The concept of old age home in India is not in tune with Indian culture and traditions. Here this is only last option.

In USA if u see the oldage homes, they are luxurious apartment with all the amenities in the apartment. The nurses are well mannered, polite and always smiling, willing to do any work for those old people. When I saw that old age home I was stunned . The old people enjoyed their life there. They get all the respect which they expect from others and thats y they njoy being there.
I hope our country also provides such facility so that the old people can live their life lively at the last moment.

I totally agree with Sheetal!Its fact and amenities are important for giving a peaceful atmosphere to the old..

When I think about old people or small children I feel that both need care...In case of small children if we don't take proper care it may effect their future...While that's not the case of old people as most of them need a support and presence of people so that they don't feel depressed or lonely...
It's quiet common to be depressed or lonely in old age as our mind mostly thinks about past rather than present or future...So they need diversion from such type of thinking...

Old age home may create such atmosphere where old people indulge themselves in various activities with others, provided if the old age home is not looking for its own profits...

I too agree with @gulshan that if both the couples are busy then old age home is the only good option left.. while its not good to leave them alone if they are facing some serious health problems as emotion support is needed..
Normally old age homes can never give that emotional support...though they can give 24 hours support for nursing...

There is negative and positive aspects too...

Old age homes by themselves may not provide emotional support. These should not be considered as a dumping place for the aged. Children should remain in contact with their parents in such old age homes. They should periodically visit them and talk on phone. Sending aged to old age home should be like sending children to hostel.

I have seen many old age homes in my city and other cities. In fact we visit their often to meet inmates of one such home that is run by a group of friends on cooperative basis. We collect some funds from different big industries, which they pay on regular basis and some of the contribution by the relatives of inmates. People are happy in this home and live like a family.
They even celebrate all festivals and national days as usually normal citizens do. Although we have provided a TV, fridge, kitchen appliances, generator, computer etc for them most of them have their own equipment as well.We are planning another home in our city to provide accommodation to more people who are interested.

I have seen many old age homes in my city and other cities. In fact we visit their often to meet inmates of one such home that is run by a group of friends on cooperative basis. We collect some funds from different big industries, which they pay on regular basis and some of the contribution by the relatives of inmates. People are happy in this home and live like a family.
They even celebrate all festivals and national days as usually normal citizens do. Although we have provided a TV, fridge, kitchen appliances, generator, computer etc for them most of them have their own equipment as well.We are planning another home in our city to provide accommodation to more people who are interested.

If those people are happy emotionally and if most of the amenities are available for them then its really good. We need such organization who are ready to work genuinely for such aged people. All the best to u sunil. Hope we see the good old age homes soon..

I think this is more joy for us to go to old-age homes and try to be with such inmates who have no one to look after them. This makes them forget some of their sorrows and gives them a soothing effect.
Our group of friends has made it a point to go to a particular old-age home in our area where we visit often with small gifts like fruits and sweets and talk to them. We have even taken them out for sight seeing etc. in groups to nearby picnic spots.
The look of joy on their faces gives us a satisfaction beyond any description. They have become like our family members. I wish some more friends would join in our mission soon. I know this does cost us some money but when we see the happiness on their faces, the feeling is heavenly.

I think this is more joy for us to go to old-age homes and try to be with such inmates who have no one to look after them. This makes them forget some of their sorrows and gives them a soothing effect.
Our group of friends has made it a point to go to a particular old-age home in our area where we visit often with small gifts like fruits and sweets and talk to them. We have even taken them out for sight seeing etc. in groups to nearby picnic spots.
The look of joy on their faces gives us a satisfaction beyond any description. They have become like our family members. I wish some more friends would join in our mission soon. I know this does cost us some money but when we see the happiness on their faces, the feeling is heavenly.

Great job done. Salute to you.

All the good well managed old age homes are run by private parties, at least that is the case in my place and also by christian institutes.A couple of government run old age homes are badly managed and I have seen others too occupying it , the so called destitutes , who look anything but that.The government run institutions and offices are the same anywhere in the country .
I visit one old age home often which is a semi government organisation , run by private individuals with some government aid.This place is called Chiranthana. I have a far relative living here.She is a widow with one daughter who is married and is no position to look after her. The lady is quite happy since the people running it are nice and the place is neat with a little garden where all the people living there work voluntarily, growing some vegetables,chilies etc...I feel that in the coming years this an option that needs to be seriously considered by the governmental agencies..

Do you hear about ashram of Brindaban?
here many mother live and most of them are left by their children.
I personally feel very sorry for them. They wait upto their death that any of her family will come to fetch them. Even they go to their last destination on some unknown's soldier.
It is said that mother cries when their child does not eat and again cries when they don't get food from their children.
last of all I want to say that we should care of our parents as once they brought me in this world,helped me to walk by holding our hands and helped us to stand in life and teach us to how to lead a good and perfect life.So they can expect this little things from us.We can find our past and future through them,so they are not our burden ,they should be our inspiration,our umbrella.
Remember ou future is watching our present and can follow us.

Do you hear about ashram of Brindaban?
here many mother live and most of them are left by their children.
I personally feel very sorry for them. They wait upto their death that any of her family will come to fetch them. Even they go to their last destination on some unknown's soldier.
It is said that mother cries when their child does not eat and again cries when they don't get food from their children.
last of all I want to say that we should care of our parents as once they brought me in this world,helped me to walk by holding our hands and helped us to stand in life and teach us to how to lead a good and perfect life.So they can expect this little things from us.We can find our past and future through them,so they are not our burden ,they should be our inspiration,our umbrella.
Remember ou future is watching our present and can follow us.

Definitely, one should care for and look after their parents.I have my own mother who we all look upto and can never ever think of sending away to a old age home and I am sure most other people here too would feel the same regarding their parents .But again people are different and circumstances are different too and many families find it practically impossible to look after their parents well because of work pressure or financial constraints...here again one can argue that if one can look after themselves and their children why not parents?
I feel that in certain cases parents are much happier being in old age homes because they get companionship with other people living there and also are free of stress .I have noticed and seen many parents being treated very badly by their children or grand children and in such cases it is only fair that they have a choice of being stress free.Here, the real task is choosing a better option under the circumstances !

Just to bring this thread on the top for discussion!!!

All members have posted a lot and has taken this thread seriously. Let me thank you all at first.

Yesterday's Satyameva Jayathe's episode was about such old people and problems they face in our society. Though I watched just 10-15 minutes, it deeply affected me seeing the miseries faced by poor old women at Vrindavan. I saw them begging and washing cars. :( :( :( :(
Seeing it, I can't see it more.

When I saw a few mothers saying, " We do everything what we can do for our kids and we cry when our kids don't take food. But now, they can't give us even bread 2 times", what should I say more.........

Actually, employed and retired persons not meet this fate. At least they get pensions. But it's the case of just 10-20% of our country as a whole. 80% of old people is really pathetic, where they have to depend upon their kids for even primary necessities.

Gandhiji once told, " If I am able to do so, i will close all old homes in our country". Seeing the situations of old age homes at that time...50-60 years back, he may have commented it.
Now also, i feel...if old persons don't have children...then only there is the need of such 'orphanages'. Isn't it?????

It's well illustrated in the film, "Lage raho Munna bhai"

I agree that the NGOs are doing good job. In fact, I have also been contributing to Helpage. Helpage provides financial assistant to many old age organizations in India. In fact, Help Age is apex body. Help Age has huge funds at disposal. Help Age is also running some mobile vans for medical care, conducts cataract operations and runs some old age homes. There is need to strengthen such organizations.

Government gives rebate in income tax under Section 80(G) to donors.

While I was studying in school, we did some donations for help age India. We collected money from our friends, relatives etc and gave to the charity organisation and according to the amount we connect we get badges which encouraged we kids a lot. :)

Do you hear about ashram of Brindaban?
here many mother live and most of them are left by their children.
I personally feel very sorry for them. They wait upto their death that any of her family will come to fetch them. Even they go to their last destination on some unknown's soldier.
It is said that mother cries when their child does not eat and again cries when they don't get food from their children.
last of all I want to say that we should care of our parents as once they brought me in this world,helped me to walk by holding our hands and helped us to stand in life and teach us to how to lead a good and perfect life.So they can expect this little things from us.We can find our past and future through them,so they are not our burden ,they should be our inspiration,our umbrella.
Remember ou future is watching our present and can follow us.

Definitely, one should care for and look after their parents.I have my own mother who we all look upto and can never ever think of sending away to a old age home and I am sure most other people here too would feel the same regarding their parents .But again people are different and circumstances are different too and many families find it practically impossible to look after their parents well because of work pressure or financial constraints...here again one can argue that if one can look after themselves and their children why not parents?
I feel that in certain cases parents are much happier being in old age homes because they get companionship with other people living there and also are free of stress .I have noticed and seen many parents being treated very badly by their children or grand children and in such cases it is only fair that they have a choice of being stress free.Here, the real task is choosing a better option under the circumstances !

Vriddha sadhanam or Old age homes look good only if they get financial support. It's true, a few of such institutions are really doing it. But, it's not the same for all cases. As Gulshanji told, if old parents stay alone at home, there arises the problems of security too, as we can't even trust home maid. How many such incidents are occurring!!! But if they have kids, why do they have to face such a bad situation in life???
The whole life, they may be running behind every difficulties to make their kids' life secure. When their days are numbered, why can't kids give them at least a few things back. At least, they should never forget, we are here because of them only.

As I have expressed my opinion, if parents have no kids, they can choose old homes. But it's only rare occasions. Isn't it?
I am sure, 90% of inhabitants of old age homes are those left by their kids.

In old ages, parents want only love and happiness and nothing else. they just want to play with their grand children. Their desires are only a few. If we are not able to fullfill them, how can we called humans??? Isn't it?


I want to assure one more thing.....no parent will love an old age home more than the presence and love of his kids and grand children, even if he finds heaven there.

I want to add one more thing...
let us see the other side of same coin......

Our country is really notorious for the torture of daughter-in-laws in the name of money and only a few are lucky enough to get the love from in-laws even if she serves them good. Some in-laws even spread bad things about her.

Help is always a mutual help and when in-laws develop a mutual bond between these two and treat her as a member, then only she also gives it back. I think, this mutual understanding itself can erase the thoughts of oldage homes a lot.

Let me tell something about my sister-in-law's parents. Her grand parents are still alive. Grand father is 92 or 93 and grand mother is also 87-90. So, it's sure, both are very aged and very weak too...yet still alive.
More than 10 years have passed since both have fallen to bed and their daughter-in-law (Rekha's mother) is looking after her in-laws both. Grandpa can't even rise from his bed and grand mother can't remember anything, even the faces of her dear ones.....Often she calls them with other names. If she gets an opportunity, she will run out of the home and needs special attention as a pond is there in their courtyard.
If we tell the truth, her parents are not able to go out even for a shopping for the past 10 years and they are looking after them.
Actually, these old parents were good. That's why, when they fall down, their daughter-in-law looks after them in their bad times.

So, i am telling one more point......
If in-laws are able to treat her as their daughter, they won't even need to ask help from their son. Isn't it?

I want to add one more thing...
let us see the other side of same coin......

Our country is really notorious for the torture of daughter-in-laws in the name of money and only a few are lucky enough to get the love from in-laws even if she serves them good. Some in-laws even spread bad things about her.

Help is always a mutual help and when in-laws develop a mutual bond between these two and treat her as a member, then only she also gives it back. I think, this mutual understanding itself can erase the thoughts of oldage homes a lot.

Let me tell something about my sister-in-law's parents. Her grand parents are still alive. Grand father is 92 or 93 and grand mother is also 87-90. So, it's sure, both are very aged and very weak too...yet still alive.
More than 10 years have passed since both have fallen to bed and their daughter-in-law (Rekha's mother) is looking after her in-laws both. Grandpa can't even rise from his bed and grand mother can't remember anything, even the faces of her dear ones.....Often she calls them with other names. If she gets an opportunity, she will run out of the home and needs special attention as a pond is there in their courtyard.
If we tell the truth, her parents are not able to go out even for a shopping for the past 10 years and they are looking after them.
Actually, these old parents were good. That's why, when they fall down, their daughter-in-law looks after them in their bad times.

So, i am telling one more point......
If in-laws are able to treat her as their daughter, they won't even need to ask help from their son. Isn't it?

All daughter in law should follow her.