We should learn the value of adjustment
There is no second opinion about the fact that people tend to stress too fast due to life style of the present age. The life itself has become too fast to make almost every one feel the heat of it and becoming a victim of stress. You can hear every one or any one having some thing to say the problems they are having with their coworkers, relatives or even friends.
The situation seems to be getting out of hands up to extent that most people having such problems are almost on the verge of depressed state. What we do not understand at the beginning that a lack of proper care to find a solution for such small stresses, which take place due to lack of understanding initially. Therefore this is wise to not to ignore small problems, which are root causes of bigger problems to come and become critical.
Here are few examples - which are self-explanatory
I know a girl, who got married recently, say about five months back who was a very good mannered, cheerful and smart daughter before marriage in every sense. However, the atmosphere of her husband’s home is so very different from her own parent’s house that she felt tensed from the third day itself. You may find it small problem but for Rimy the girl in question this was too big. She was used to getting up at eight in the morning at her parents and here at in-laws’ every one was up by five in the morning.
This sounds such a small problem for us when we hear that a girl faces stress just because she could not manage to wake up at five in place of eight. True, she should have tried but she rather chooses to be some one ranting about it and making it a big problem. Even the food and life style that was different from her parents’ house stressed her a lot and she was making complaint about every thing with her husband. Later while her parents made her understand the realities, she did manage it perfectly well and leading a happy life now.
Let me share another case of a teenager who is a student of class twelfth, she cannot stand slightest resemblance of a joke at her cost although girls her age tend to cut many of such jokes while sitting in groups. She always finds it too hard to digest if her close friends make even a healthy comment on any of her weaknesses. She feels it so bad that she does not talk to them for days together and this takes a lot to make her normal again, which may some times last for weeks. She does not take a comment even from her teachers in normal sense. This is part of the life for most but a big tension for this particular girl.
Adjustment is the key
Most cases of maladjustment or lack of adjustment happens with women (I hope I am not asking for trouble if a lady editor is reading this) that too with young women who number up to 90% with stress problems due unable to handle adjustment with some thing or the other at any given point. Such youngsters try to find out some thing or other to make a point of issue to show their own importance. The unmarried girls are finding it tough to adjust with sisters or brothers and making very small points look very big, which otherwise can be solved easily.
If the young married women are finding it tough to adjust with other ladies in the family the matured, (although not all - another chance of a lady editor finding it offensive) finding adjustment problems with their husbands on different grounds. The problems that may look small at the beginning may convert into bigger later resulting in big issues and even reaching to a stage where separation or even suicide’s attempts are possible.
Whenever we discuss about depression and tension we usually find the lack of communication being the biggest reasons of adjustment problem, which could be solved easily with having an open discussion on the topic and going deeper on to the root cause of a particular problem. Discussion is the only solution as long as there is no ego problem in between the two parties at the loggerheads and willing to normalize the situation. There is no use elastifying the problem that is good for no one.
There are certain rules to follow
There is no use keeping an unsatisfied or uncooperative mood on all occasions.
There is no harm making compromises some times for the sake of family or friends that would help.
What is the harm in pointing out the particular problem and find a solution with a mutual dialogue?
As they say ‘catch the mother of evil’ that means the person with whom you find hard to adjust with talk in detail and put your point of views clearly, never forget to listen to them as well.
Avoid sarcastic comments. That will save you from deeper troubles.
I think this is better to avoid being hyperactive at the drop of a hat, try to give it a second thought. You shall have your chance to handle the situation in a better way.
This is always a better option to give a chance to someone to clear his stance that is irritating you with his behavior. He could make his position clear; this could be some thing not that irritating later.
Never stop communication that would only increase complications and close the doors of negotiations.
I agree that in most cases the other party is wrong but just in case- think about your own attitude. I am bit hesitant but we too are wrong in some of the cases.
I know these are simple points and almost every one knows about these ordinary methods. However, when it comes to implementing these in our life we always want some one else to take an initiative as if we are the perfect most and cannot commit a mistake in our life therefore, this is wise to act according to situation and save the situation.
Those lovely childhood days
Those childhood days were great, just incomparable to any however good but nothing to compare with those lovely carefree days while we use to play with siblings and other children of our community without a care in the world. Oh yes, quarrels and little bit of fighting around were parts of those days between the siblings and other children however such things did not last for long.
I still remember that my younger brother and sister would always go to my mother and father, whoever they thought good to give me a good slap for the small mischief we used to do together.
Those days were altogether different because there was nothing to worry and nothing to think about. However, the days passed along and the relations in between us took a newer shape by the time we entered into teens. We were not only siblings but good competitors for each other as well. We all wanted to better us than any of us, we gave each other a good run for the money but that never was out of a certain limit.
As much as we grew in age, we learnt the value of relations even more, now I was big brother for them. They could look up to me as a big brother who would standup for them in any of their problems without a slightest of hitch.
I know there is no relation in this world better than that of a brother or a sister because they know each other inside out and can come forward to bail them out from whatever the situation without thinking twice. Although I know, some siblings have strained relations but they still become united when there is a need or emergency that requires them to be stay together.
The relations in between a sister and a brother have changed today because there are limited children in a family today. Most families have either one or two children therefore love, bond, relationship have taken an altogether different shape today. They feel more associated with each other and act more like a councilor, guide and adviser rather than a competitor, to support each other on every step.
I can see a new dimension developing a new phase of a beautiful relationship in between brother and a sister today. Brother is no more a terror or some one who used to be spying on her brother and keeping an eye with a suspicious look. Now he is a proper guide and guard for his sister who is ready to walk along with her knowing her needs and demands.
Rakshabandhan
Some of you must be thinking while reading this article about the background of my thoughts and thinking- you are right, this Rakshabandhan has turned me a little sentimental since my sister is too far off. Let me share a secret with you about sisters those thought differently until a few years back. They did not share much with brothers big or even a few years younger than them because brothers used to treat them like inferior or used to boss around with sisters. The brothers considered themselves as self-appointed judgment taker for their sisters.
There was a time while Rakshabandhan meant that brother, big or small would come forward to safeguard the interests of his sister in every case however the situation is not the same today, the sister is as strong and capable who can support her brother as much as a brother can do. Sisters are as educated as brothers and if you would please excuse me my saying so that in most cases sisters are better off because they are well aware about the value of education and carriers. The sisters are as much in a position of taking care of their brothers as brothers are.
Now the situations have changed up largely, brothers are still taking care of sisters but the rolls have almost taken a new shape. Brothers and sisters both are taking care of each other better than ever before. Not only brothers are supporting sisters in need but sisters too are taking as much care while a brother needs support from some on. He can look on his sister for any support be it financial, personal or whatever, there is a different kind of cooperation in this relation compared to olden times.
You see, brothers and sisters have entered into the category of friend’s today. They are no more mere relations, who look in a different direction when the time to support each other comes. Maybe they are busy with their own lives, formalities and jobs but when it comes to understanding the needs of the hour, they never fail to come good up to expectations. They are always ready to support each other, to maintain the real beauty of their relation.
They do not impose their decisions on each other to keep the relations normal because they know that no two persons think alike therefore imposing would only bring sourness nothing else. This is better to sort-out when there is difference of opinion and make things right. There is no harm having some flexibility in oneself especially while your near and dear ones are concerned.
The upbringing of children has brought a big change in thinking of our society today. The change in social engineering is responsible for the change in relationship of brother and sister up to a great extent as boy is not the sole successor who inherits the whole property but daughter and her children are as much part of the same. Besides the mental standard is also responsible for making a significant change the way brothers are treating their sisters. Sisters are no more dependent on them but are ready to help them in their needs.
The relation of a brother and sister is different, full of love and sweet feelings, the way people are opting for small families the shortage of girls in the society is making a girl more important. I am some one who thinks that the first child in the family decides the behavior of siblings in future. If the first child of a family is a girl, trust me that household would never suffer from the behavior related problems, unless the girl brought-up in bad way.
You must have noticed that good relations in between brothers and sisters have always helped keeping a family happy and united. In addition, the men who have an elder sister can adjust well with a woman boss and adjust well. Another important factor about sister and brother is that the boys learn easily and faster from an elder sister compared to learning from mother or teacher.
Every Human wants to become something in life. Human thinks a lot to get more and more from God. Everyone desires are unlimited. Only Saint, don’t have Wish and desire to get anything. Rest all the humans, like to have everything in their life. Human desires and wishes are unstoppable. If he/she thinks to have one wish, from that one wish, another wish is develop and from those 2 wishes, it turns to 4 and these wishes goes on and on. Human are hungry to get every wish in their life. Yes, God has a control on those wishes and fulfills only few of them.
Whatever we see today in our life, from those, few would have thought of our self and from those wishes we had been given birth to this Earth. Also the nature we see in front of us is just because of our wishes. From all the birth that has took place on this earth, only Humans have a capacity to think about our wishes. From many years, Animals and birds are there on this Earth, no one had wished to Cook food on Stove or Burner or Hotplate. It was the thinking of humans that has made possible to create this Technology.
Our Ancestors would have dreamed or would have wished to fly like all birds do and may be because of their wishes, we could fly in Airplane. We have even touch the Space, just because of those dreams of our Ancestors. This all would have possible because the humans were having a deep wish, a long desire to get everything in life.
The main point of understanding is that there are many people in this world, who don’t know their actual wish. What actually, they want to achieve? To achieve what goal they are living in this planet? Few people do realize, but much later, when everything is gone from their hands. Those people, who are not good in understanding their wishes, should think towards themselves and then they should put their energy in right direction. Sometimes people do tell that they are working hard but they are not getting anything, this is because, the energy they are putting is not in right direction. They should think wisely about themselves and then they should take proper decision.
In Studies, some students score good marks and do take admission in Medical Science, but afterwards they become sad. Because the decision they had took is not according to their wishes. We should have a clear mind-set to become something in life. When you will have a clear mind-set to become something, then it would be very easy to put your full concentration and full energy towards your goal.
I was very frustrated with myself. Whenever I have done something wrong in my life, suddenly after doing it, I would realize that I shouldn’t have done that. I used to say that I can’t do anything in my life and would remain as it is, as I am now. Many people used to advice me to change myself and do the good things in life. I used to agree with them at that moment and think within myself that I would change myself. But on the next day, again I used to forget everything what the people have advice me and I used to commit that same mistake every day.
Again I would realize that, I have done wrong, but that realization would be of only few minutes. After few months I realized that I am addicted of doing wrong things. I was building this addiction. After few months I thought to change myself again and again thought about that advice that was given to me, when I have started to get addict. I thought for a while, that if I am not going to change myself, I would be stuck in a web and could not come out.
It took me sometimes to come out from that web. I want to tell you what I did to forget the wrong things from my mind and to be a normal person. I changed my life, by not concentrating on those things which I don’t want to do, but rather I concentrated on the things which I want to achieve. More and more negative you think, more and more you will involve in negativity. So, never think negative. Positive is all you have to think.
It will take time to remove all negative thoughts from your mind, but you have to determine that you are not going to follow your negative thoughts. For some days, it would like a Tennis game; ball will come from negative thoughts to positive thoughts and from positive thoughts to negative thoughts but slowly you will be able to achieve only positive thoughts in yourself.
I wanted to become a good person and I was before getting into addiction, but somehow I was disturb from my goal and because of some personal reason, I had forgotten my path. But later when I realized that I am only going to be bad person, I stood to myself and decided that I would be a good person. Friends, there is nothing you get when you become a bad person. You just get so much stress, tension and all you get is unhappiness. The goodness lies in Happiness. We should be happy all the time. We should be positive in our self and being positive we could change our self.
Time and Date are the proof that nothing stay for a long time. Everything changes; even we human beings can’t be in a one state for long time. There is nothing which is silent and permanent. Nature goes on changing its color. Rainbow comes in the Monsoon for sometimes, but doesn’t remain for long time. The wind which is blowing now will become silent after few minutes or hours. When the Rose grows on a tree, quell will also grow. We see lots of changes continuously. This is nature of life.
If everything is changing in nature, then how can we restrict human beings to be same every time in their life? With time not only age grows, but lots of other changes we see in humans. We see variation in our life. Sometimes we do increase our level, but sometimes we find degradation in our self. Human don’t have that consistency every time. At time goes on, a good person changes his/her habit and become worst. There is nothing wrong in changing our self, but should never become a wrong person or we should never develop bad habit in our self. It is tough for the bad person to become good person. But somehow, if a person works hard to change himself/herself, it is possible. Determination is needed for becoming good.
This signature we do in a Love letter and Divorce paper is the same, the difference is, when we sign in a divorce paper the vibration in our hand and heart beats increases. The person, with whom we loved so much, looks quell in our life, which gives pain. Human being is unpredictable. We can’t say, when the person who is very good in nature, changes himself/herself into a bad nature. The person, who can’t walk with the time, remains backward in life. If the human being is not able to accept the changes, his/her downfall is confirmed.
So, we should be happy always in life. Downfall will come in your life. There is no person in this earth, so has not seen downfall in his/her life. Understand the changes that come to you and accept it. The person, who is determined and understand life, can live a good life on earth.
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