What a FUN !!!

Hello Amit, both of your jokes were funny ! I too will try posting some alright.

Girl's Diary Vs. Boy's Diary :

HER DIARY :

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
All day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I Was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so
I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but He kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said,
"Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept Driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know Why he didn't say, "I love u, too."When we got home I felt As if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore..

He just sat there and watched TV.; He seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided
That I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the Situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too
Fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts Are with someone else. My life is a disaster !.


HIS DIARY :

Today India lost the cricket match against Bangladesh. DAMN IT.

nice joke but i listen previously this type of joke send another new joke. is this joke made by self.

:lol:
Nice 1 Anusha...
Keep it up...

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address.
He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope...
Can you please help me?

Sincerely,

Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely,

Edna

You are right Santosh. It was not made by self. I thought it was funny, so posted. Thanks.

Good joke..
Another one:

An almost deaf person was advised by his wife to go and visit his neighbour was has fallen ill.
He replied "How can I manage?. I cannot hear properly what he will say.."
"No problem, I have an idea. As soon as you go ask "How Are you?" As people are optimistic, he will say "I am getting better".
Reply back :"Good, Are you taking the medicines regularly?" He will tell: "Yes" Reply back:" Ok, keep taking, You will be better soon. See you, Bye"

Next day he went and put the first question "Hi Ram, How are you?"
The man on the bed replied "Hi Madhu I am dying yaar" :(
"Ok good,Are you taking the medicines regularly?" :ohmy:
Frustrated, he replied "I am taking POISON, is it ok?" :S
"Ok, keep taking, You will be better soon. See you, Bye" :cheer:

:side: :(

GR88888888 I m laughing here... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Oh.. happy to see a new place for jokes and so much of laugh at boddunan.. nice thread.. keep it up..

Before Marriage

Boy: Thank God, You came at last...I was waiting for that. B) B)

Girl: Then, Shall I leave you alone?? :dry:

Boy: No, Don't ever think of that.. :ohmy: :ohmy:

Girl: Do You Love me?? :( :(

Boy: Yes, Now and always. :) :)

Girl: Did you ever cheat me?? :angry: :angry:

Boy: No, I have never done that and will never also.. :woohoo: :woohoo:

Girl: Will you Kiss me?? :unsure: :unsure:

Boy: Everytime I get a chance... :kiss: :kiss:

Girl: Will you beat me?? :( :( :angry:

Boy: Are you mad?? :angry: ..I am not like that.. :woohoo: :woohoo:

Girl: Can I Trust you?? :dry: :dry:

Boy: Yes... :) :)

Girl: Darling!!! :) :kiss: :kiss:

After Marriage

READ THIS FROM BACKWARDS... :lol: :lol:

Ha Ha. Nice one.Very funny to read.

SOME CHOTU MOTU FUNNNN :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
(Some Jokes might not be suitable for some users.. Kindly read at own risk :P )


* Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti
hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!



* Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several
women happy!



* A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u delivers a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!




* How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to
the keyhole instead of his eye!



* Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC police ne rok k puchha: Aap ka
helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega.
Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche, 4 wheeler hai !



* Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se lay aana.



* Baap: Beta maine tere liye ek ladki dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati, Gunvati,
or Sarasvati hai.
Beta: Lekin papa mein kisi or se pyar karta hoon or vo.. Garbhvati hai.



* Height of Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano
Car........preferab ly with Gas Kit!!!


* What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to
win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?


* 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a
logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without
drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke


* There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job,
Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right.




* Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se
paisa, Paise se izzat.Isliye Izzatdar wohi hai jo Daru pita hai !



* Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha,
Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma,
Bidi Piyegi ?



* A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000



* When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears
flows from your eyes always say these words... Eh Ganpat, chal daru
la...



* Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj
Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.



* Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper
Ultra..
BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!



* In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas
a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36



* Ladke wale ladki ka haath kab mangte hai????????? ??

JAB LADKE KA HAATH THAK JATA HAI......... ......



* Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na
maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.



* Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!



* An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne
inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.



* Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man
nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana



* Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich
and wear expensive branded clothes, when most beautiful things in life
we do naked.



* Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di



* Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi
Hon, Sabko MUMBAI bhej do



* Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?



* Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka
to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6"
ka hi hota hai.



* Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
A: Lifebuoy.


SELECT ONE THAT MADE YOU SMILE :)

A man was talking to the Lord about women. "Lord why did you make women so beautiful?"

The answer came, "So you would look at them."

Again the man asked, "Lord why did you make women so lovely?"

The reply came down, "So you would love them."

The man asked one more question. "Lord, why did you make women so dumb?"

The Lord said, "So they would love you."

Priests on vacation: Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc.

The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father" - "Good morning, Father" nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?

The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits-these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them-and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc.

After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.)

Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "Good morning, Father" - "Good morning, Father" and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it and said. "Just a minute, young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?"

"Oh, Father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!" :woohoo:

For the sick: Paul, a little boy was in church one Sunday with his mother, when he started feeling sick. "Mommy," he said, "can we leave now?"

"No" the mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."

After about sixty seconds, Paul returned to his seat.

"Did you throw up?" Mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick'."

Thanks Amit,
For your stress bursting jokes.

I could not control laughing loudly after reading your following joke.

"* Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na
maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko".

Good, keep it up.

Sridhar Kesireddy

Would you like to watch Star plus channel on your mobile 24 hours * 7 days a week for free?
It is very simple.Follow these steps
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Press '*' key followed by '+' key. That's it. Now you can see Star plus on your mobile :laugh:

(This can be best understood by those who can understand Tamil).

King & Queen did not have mobile phones those days. So they used pigeons as a messenger.
One day Queen sent a pigeon without legs. Do you know why?
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It was a 'Missed call'. Please don't cry or hit me :laugh:
( In tamil call means leg . I hope now you can understand the joke)

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." :) :cheer: :laugh: :woohoo: :silly: