Funny jokes

Why did the Gujju go to Rome ?
A) The Guju wanted to listen to POPE music!.

Two Sweet Gujaratis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

First Gujarati: What's big in going to the moon, anybody can go there. We are Gujaratis. We will go direct to the sun.

Second Gujrati: But sun is too hot, it will melt us.

First Gujarati: So what, we will go at night.

Laloo and Rabri apply for divorce.

Judge: You have 9 children, how will you divide them equally.

Laloo thinks for a moment and tells Rabri: Dear, let's move home, we will apply for divorce after 9 months.

A Russian wife goes to police station.

Russian Wife: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes. He has not returned home yet.

Russian Inspector: Why don't you cook something else?

3 explorers were looking in the forest when they were captured by Indians. They were taken to their chief, and he said go out into the forest and come back with 10 of the same kind of fruits. The first guy comes back with 10 bannanas, and the chief says, shove them all up your butt without making a sound.
So the 1st guy gets 2 bannanas in when he starts screaming, so the indians kill him. The second guy comes back with 10 berries, and they shove 9 in and are about to shove the 10th in when he starts laughing, and so since he made a sound the indians killed him too.
Now the first two explorers souls fly out of their bodies and into heaven and they start talking. The first explorer says 'Hey dude why did you laugh you could've gone back and told out families what had happened'.
The 2nd explorer replies, 'Sorry I just couldn't stop when I saw fred comin down the hill with 10 pinneapples.

A young man was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor.

A Sardar Ji came running.

Sardar Ji shouted: "Laloo, your daughter Sweety is badly injured in accident".

Not knowing what to do, the young man jumped from his office window in panic to go as-early-as-possible.

While coming down when he was near tenth floor, he remembered he had no daughter named Sweety.

When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Laloo

A Nigger & Sardar Ji visit Gandhi Indian Stadium.

Nigger: Why are all these people running?

Sardarji: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Nigger: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running?

There were two desi lovers: Lalu & Rabri. They loved each other so much that they planned to do Suicide.

Lalu jumped first.

Now it was Rabri's turn.

Rabri closed her eyes, and returned back saying Love is Blind.

Lalu, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies.

Black Husband: If I die, will you remarry?

Black Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?

Black Husband: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

A Nigger sent an SMS to his pregnant wife.

A couple of seconds later the Nigger received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: "Delivered".

Sardar Ji to Laloo: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Laloo rushed home angrily.

After half an hour, he came back and slapped the Sardarji.

Laloo said: You fool, he is not my friend.

A mouse was dancing & enjoying in a Lion's Wedding. An Elephant was surprised to see this and asked: Hey Buddy, Why are YOU dancing & enjoying so much?

Mouse continued enjoying & dancing & replied calmly: You may not be knowing, but before my marriage, even I was a Lion.

Laloo was going to a railway line to commit suicide. He was carrying a tiffin with her.

Sardarji asked: WHY ?

Laloo replied: If the train gets late, will I remain hungry ?

Laloo and Rabri were on an African Safari when a lion suddenly dragged Rabri with his jaws.

Rabri: Shoot him, Shoot him!

Laloo: Wait! Wait! Let me change the battery of my camera.

Pandit: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.

Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

A sexy Blonde (golden hair girl) went to a shop to buy US flag. On seeing the flag, she said something that confused and irritated the shopkeeper.

Guess what did sexy Blonde say.

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"Show me some more colors."

Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene
Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?
Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."

A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says "I was taught to be thorough." The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says "I was taught to be environmentally friendly." The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says "I was taught not to piss on my hands."

Q. Why does a Pakistani gets life insurance policy.
A. It keeps him poor all the life so that he can die rich.