gap between marriage day and engagement day

parents must be very careful in this subject. lot of observation and counseling is needed.

like and dislikes do not come on the way of marriage. live for each other is the real sense of marriage. sacrifice is the basic element in this relation. Hinduism gave divine path to this eternal bondage.

like and dislikes do not come on the way of marriage. live for each other is the real sense of marriage. sacrifice is the basic element in this relation. Hinduism gave divine path to this eternal bondage.

Yes, Hinduism has rated marriage very highly. It is we people who are abusing the system. The bond is certainly eternal as you pointed out. But we have made it a nine day wonder.

let me give a live example of my dearest friend of PG.

when the marriage was fixed everything was as normal, both began to chat each other over phone. But gradually my friend felt that his behaviour is strange and that he is not like normal persons. so, she told this matter to her parents and said that she didn't want to marry him. Her parents neglect her words thinking, it's a small fight between these two.

what happened next???
They lived together for just 1 month. He was a sadist who used to beat her. One day she phoned her father and he brought her from Banglore. Her husband was an IT employee.
3 months before she got married.( After 5 years) But she insisted that she will choose only a second marriage person.
She was the most beautiful girl of our class and every boy of our class had a special interest in her. also, she was a single child.
If parents listened to her words?
Will those wounds heal easily?

so, the period between engagement and marriage is the best time to know each other. never go for adjustments, instead think in all means if found strange characteristics of the person

let me give a live example of my dearest friend of PG.

when the marriage was fixed everything was as normal, both began to chat each other over phone. But gradually my friend felt that his behaviour is strange and that he is not like normal persons. so, she told this matter to her parents and said that she didn't want to marry him. Her parents neglect her words thinking, it's a small fight between these two.

what happened next???
They lived together for just 1 month. He was a sadist who used to beat her. One day she phoned her father and he brought her from Banglore. Her husband was an IT employee.
3 months before she got married.( After 5 years) But she insisted that she will choose only a second marriage person.
She was the most beautiful girl of our class and every boy of our class had a special interest in her. also, she was a single child.
If parents listened to her words?
Will those wounds heal easily?

so, the period between engagement and marriage is the best time to know each other. never go for adjustments, instead think in all means if found strange characteristics of the person

There are a plethora of ways to know each other. Not necessarily the gap between engagement and marriage. Stray incidents will not affirmatively say anything.

let me give a live example of my dearest friend of PG.

when the marriage was fixed everything was as normal, both began to chat each other over phone. But gradually my friend felt that his behaviour is strange and that he is not like normal persons. so, she told this matter to her parents and said that she didn't want to marry him. Her parents neglect her words thinking, it's a small fight between these two.

what happened next???
They lived together for just 1 month. He was a sadist who used to beat her. One day she phoned her father and he brought her from Banglore. Her husband was an IT employee.
3 months before she got married.( After 5 years) But she insisted that she will choose only a second marriage person.
She was the most beautiful girl of our class and every boy of our class had a special interest in her. also, she was a single child.
If parents listened to her words?
Will those wounds heal easily?

so, the period between engagement and marriage is the best time to know each other. never go for adjustments, instead think in all means if found strange characteristics of the person

That's right Sandhyji. But this period is like an interview. During an interview we try to be at our best. This period cannot say for sure that the person is the right choice. Who knows he/she has two faces, who will behave well during that period and will be back to square one after marriage?

i agree with you, the whole planet is in the process of understanding and adjustment. you are adjusting in the society in every respect. you are involuntarily adjusting every second with every thing. none is a free bird on the planet. the basic importance of marriage is not conveyed to present generation. i have adjusted with thousands of people in service, why not with life partner who is sharing life. ego must be erased. can you find a man who can get along through out life with out any problem? never..sweet is famous because of bitter..

i agree with you, the whole planet is in the process of understanding and adjustment. you are adjusting in the society in every respect. you are involuntarily adjusting every second with every thing. none is a free bird on the planet. the basic importance of marriage is not conveyed to present generation. i have adjusted with thousands of people in service, why not with life partner who is sharing life. ego must be erased. can you find a man who can get along through out life with out any problem? never..sweet is famous because of bitter..

That's a cool observation, I must say. It shows your way of thinking towards marriage in general and society in particular.
But I would like to tell you to click on "Quote" if you are answering to someone. It's easier to know whom you are answering to and in what respect.

subramanyam sir, the point you have pointed out is correct but there is positive about this point, that is if they could not adjust while talking in phone then how they can adjust in their life. To my knowledge i feel talking in phone is correct.

Any problem related to marital matters should be talked face to face. This is not a light matter to be talked and jump to conclusions over the phone.

Talking in phone in the gap between engagement and marriage is a good thing. In such conversations only both boy and girls mind and their emotional status comes out and we can even know whether they can adjust or not. If they could not adjust with each other then how can they adjust in their life

Talking in phone in the gap between engagement and marriage is a good thing. In such conversations only both boy and girls mind and their emotional status comes out and we can even know whether they can adjust or not. If they could not adjust with each other then how can they adjust in their life

Thats where the counseling is necessary. Talking face to face preferably in the presence of elders will have long standing benefits. Once there was a way of selecting the candidates In corporate offices through interviews over the phone. Subsequently the practice was stopped. Why? There is nothing like "Face to face " talk. It applies to all the spheres..

Rambabu I do agree with you. But there is alot of difference between talking on phone and face to face. A boy and a girl cannot have proper talk face to face. especially infront of the elders. So To my knowledge, talking in phone is the right thing.

Rambabu I do agree with you. But there is alot of difference between talking on phone and face to face. A boy and a girl cannot have proper talk face to face. especially infront of the elders. So To my knowledge, talking in phone is the right thing.

A phone talk will fail to convey the meanings of facial expressions and body language which are vital for the important talks. Have you seen diplomatic heads of countries talking over the phone for settling key issues?. Even in these days of advanced communication technologies, people are considering personal talks. Why a state's chief minister or a country;s head will call for personal negotiations with the leader of a striking union ? Why not a phone talk?

There are many people who did not give gap between engagement and the marriage.They even prepare themselves for the ceremony.

you will not know the clear feelings through phone. singers are always beautiful most in our imagination. face to face experience is satisfactory.

well said..

I can't fully agree with your points.
It's true, the time interval between engagement and marriage is the golden age of a relationship, when one person gets full opportunity to know about the other person, his likes and dislikes.
Marriage doesn't mean two persons should continue living till death even if unhappy with the relation only thinking, we are married. If it's possible to find that the other person doesn't suit you before marriage, it's better to break the relationship than continue it for the sake of family and relatives. Marriage is the union of two hearts, then only family and society.

Apparently, according to you, the gap between engagement and marriage is a 'Period or probation' during which the proposed relation is subject to review, confirmation/ ratification or cancellation. In government service, the period of probation is two years. I feel that the period between engagement and wedding also be fixed.

Rambabu I do agree with you. But there is alot of difference between talking on phone and face to face. A boy and a girl cannot have proper talk face to face. especially infront of the elders. So To my knowledge, talking in phone is the right thing.

But nowadays, they meet personally too, Sarala. so, they get better oppurtunity to know each other. also, i don't think there is a vast difference between talk over phone and face to face talk.

My grand mother once told me, my aunt too....they saw their husbands first on their wedding day :silly: :silly:
ladies were so shy that time, even before 20 years....

I used to meet my hubby almost every weekend......after marriage fixed. (We exchanged rings during Wedding ceremony. ) we used to have lunch together, and many times, someone spots us :laugh: :laugh: . Those 4 months was the most beautiful romantic period of my life. :cheer: :cheer:

A gap between engagement and marriage is necessary to know the nature and feelings of each other.