Marriage parties - is it waste of money?

Hi SJ... In our country people used to spend money on such events. Even I thinks wasting too much money on it is not worth. It should be like small family function than inviting whole town.

AKP wrote:

Hi SJ... In our country people used to spend money on such events. Even I thinks wasting too much money on it is not worth. It should be like small family function than inviting whole town.

 

These are the days, people's attitude is changing drastically towards marriage. Have you not seen the post posted by Usha Manohar consisting of the latest landmark verdict on cohabitation ? Living together for a long time itself is enough  to make the couple Man and wife.

In Tamilnadu, recently, there was a movement which questioned the importance of Mangal Sutra. All these incidents say that Marriage itself is a waste. And you are talking about marriage parties.

rambabu wrote:

AKP wrote:

Hi SJ... In our country people used to spend money on such events. Even I thinks wasting too much money on it is not worth. It should be like small family function than inviting whole town.

 

These are the days, people's attitude is changing drastically towards marriage. Have you not seen the post posted by Usha Manohar consisting of the latest landmark verdict on cohabitation ? Living together for a long time itself is enough  to make the couple Man and wife.

In Tamilnadu, recently, there was a movement which questioned the importance of Mangal Sutra. All these incidents say that Marriage itself is a waste. And you are talking about marriage parties.

 

Sir, we can't just say marriage itself waste because of few incidents. Its an important thing.

Yes I have read that post you are talking about, but not all people believe in that. I mean still most of the people in our country goes for traditional way for for having life partner by marriage. 

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

There is no problem with conducting marriage rituals and having a celebratory party with close friends and family and relatives. But when these celebrations crosses the boundaries of decency and becomes a vulgar exhibition of money and power, then it becomes quite upsetting. eg. in the recent news, we have heard and seen the kind of celebrations that happened during the wedding ceremonies of sons and daughters of politicians where crores and crores of money was wasted on food and other extravaganza. It just shows that during such times, these people have simply no sense of responsibility or sensitivity.

The people who shout at the top of their vocal level claiming themselves as Massiha of poor and carriying forward the legacy of socilism are the ones who are spending most levishly. I saw Shivpal Singh yadawa brother of Mulayam Singh and a minister in UP wearing a big Gold Mukukut gifted by farmers. Incidentally the UP governments' cheques have been bounced paid as compansation to farmers (worth rs 50-60-75-100)

Every one knows Mulayam Singh Took BAARAT of his grand son to Delhi by 2 aeroplanes held in best 5 star hotel of capital with lalu Yadav's daughter . That much for the socilists and reformers of this country. They speak big, eat big and involve in big scams.

Incidentally, I prefer the marriages south Indian style held in temples although millions are involved in marriages of ceratin communities of south India also.

@Sunil. You are aware that South India is known for its strict adherence to traditional marriages. In this background, even in South India, a transformation started surfacing pertaining to Marriages. Very recently, a strong movement took place which questioned the significance and relevance of Mangal Sutra. On that day 100 married woman thrown away their Mangal Sutras. This clearly says that the change started taking place especially in the field of Marriages and meaningless extravagance..

rambabu wrote:

@Sunil. You are aware that South India is known for its strict adherence to traditional marriages. In this background, even in South India, a transformation started surfacing pertaining to Marriages. Very recently, a strong movement took place which questioned the significance and relevance of Mangal Sutra. On that day 100 married woman thrown away their Mangal Sutras. This clearly says that the change started taking place especially in the field of Marriages and meaningless extravagance..

Change is indeed taking place in many spheres and ways. I have not much idea about what happens in TN or AP but I have seen many Kerala marriages where dowry is indeed a great deal and the bride is decked up in heavy gold jewellery from head to toe. It is said that quite a few kilogrammes of gold is given away to the bride. A close friend;s wedding I attended a few years ago, the poor girl was unable to stand up straight due to the weight of the gold on her body. And even today, my Keralite friends have assured me, this craze for gold is increasing even more! Now isn't this the kind of extravagance we frown upon?

Certainly an act of extravagance and capital wastage. I support your views on meaningless marriage rituals.

If one really does come in time and know the rituals and tradition and follow them it is not a waste of time but unfortunately marriage had become an event of display of prosperity and status which is why money on marriages is a sheer waste.

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

I read this link article. Related or not it points out the all important pont about the changing trends in the society about marriages. Which is why I quoted without giving a link. And about the dowry, recently a bride had slapped her groom, when he insisted dowry. She added, I don't need a groom who demands dowry. And finally, I'd like to state, this is yet glaring example that mirrors the changing trends in Marriage system.

 

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

I read this link article. Related or not it points out the all important pont about the changing trends in the society about marriages. Which is why I quoted without giving a link. And about the dowry, recently a bride had slapped her groom, when he insisted dowry. She added, I don't need a groom who demands dowry. And finally, I'd like to state, this is yet glaring example that mirrors the changing trends in Marriage system.

 

In India thousands of marriages take place every day. I think its about 1 crore assuming if as little as 2% of indian people get married every year. I am not sure if the quantity is even bigger though so these one or two incidents will not help the cause. 

You will be surprised to know that even educated girls encourage their parents to spend as much money as possible during marriage time as they also wish to look gorgious. 

 

 

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

I read this link article. Related or not it points out the all important pont about the changing trends in the society about marriages. Which is why I quoted without giving a link. And about the dowry, recently a bride had slapped her groom, when he insisted dowry. She added, I don't need a groom who demands dowry. And finally, I'd like to state, this is yet glaring example that mirrors the changing trends in Marriage system.

 

In India thousands of marriages take place every day. I think its about 1 crore assuming if as little as 2% of indian people get married every year. I am not sure if the quantity is even bigger though so these one or two incidents will not help the cause. 

You will be surprised to know that even educated girls encourage their parents to spend as much money as possible during marriage time as they also wish to look gorgious. 

 

I know this dreadful trend. It's more in AP. I don't know how this trend comes to an end. My eldest Son - in -law who's the vice president of a renowned IT firm in Bangalore, mysecond daughter, who's in states are earning crores and own a mini steel plant near Srikakulam, never took a dime from me. Because both my sons-in-law well aware that I don't give dowry and accept no dowry.

It all depends on the emancipation of the people surrounding you.

 

 

 

I agree that money spent on marriages is largely a waste. It would be better to hold the ceremony as simple as possible in presence of very close relatives only. 

Exactly Gulshanji. I treat it as a show and it's a sin as lot of food is thrown away

I agree with Gulshanji's views that it should be ideally kept as simple as possible which would hopefully make the demand for fat dowry less oppressive as I see marriage extravaganzas are mostly organized by greedy rich liberally with dowry loot. As far as elimination of dowry menace is concerned I am convinced that we are into a long dark tunnel the light at its end may elude us for any number of years imaginable or unimaginable as those who practice it are all powerful and well-entrenched - from a few ministers ,judges to what not! It is a kind of trade which suits both parties of a particular section!

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

Now a days marriages are getting expensive, even at a small town like my native place, many people are spending lavishly, in the end I could not understand, it seems to suggest the amount of competitiveness in getting back virtual and nominal prestige.