Marriage parties - is it waste of money?

I feel, marriages should be as simple as possible sans pomp and show. And I observed in suchextravagant marriages lot of food is wasted. This aspect will not be there if marriages are performed in a simple way and keeping them to limited family members and very close relatives and friends.

mohan manohar wrote:

Now a days marriages are getting expensive, even at a small town like my native place, many people are spending lavishly, in the end I could not understand, it seems to suggest the amount of competitiveness in getting back virtual and nominal prestige. 

Correct! All the show and pomp and splendor is nothing but an attempt of attracting false prestige!

And for the sake of this false prestige, many especially the girl's parents go for heavy loans and even sell their properties, ultimately becoming bankrupt.

Well, that's what they see as their trend. They thinks that they have to show all these in their cast to maintain reputation. Yes that's exactly I see.

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

usha manohar wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

 

I too don't feel like attending these extravagant marriage parties, where you are another face in the crowd. I just send a congratulatory message.

 

Many a times, I though why such extravaganza and high spending, alternatively, that sum could be deposited in savings account in the name of gal in order to secure her future in case of any diversion. 

usha manohar wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

 True Usha, and when such large crowds are present, even the hosts are unable to greet and welcome all the guests personally, lack of which is a bit irksome. When numbers are few, everyone gets to interact well and wish the newly married couple properly.

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

 True Usha, and when such large crowds are present, even the hosts are unable to greet and welcome all the guests personally, lack of which is a bit irksome. When numbers are few, everyone gets to interact well and wish the newly married couple properly.

 

And in such crowded marriage parties, where even the host cannot recognize the guests, anti social parasites take the advantage. Poor host thinks he's from the brides's side. And the Brides party thinks the guest is from  the groom's side. In this confusion, these parasites leave unnoticed after having a sumptuous free meal.

 

I have noticed some have made it an occasion to receive money and compensate marriage expenditures as all these are going at the same sides of coins. 

Not some. Mostly. Marriages have become  a big business.

mohan manohar wrote:

I have noticed some have made it an occasion to receive money and compensate marriage expenditures as all these are going at the same sides of coins. 

Yes, that is the normal thinking behind it. Also, for most families in India, the show of pomp and splendour in the weddings is directly proportional to the education the groom has received. I understand from a few of my Bihari friends that an engineer, mechanical or civil or software get the highest bidding, both in terms of dowry and expenditure on the wedding that bride's parents are expected to make. For engineers, current going rate is around 25 lakhs.

True Kalyani. In my own state AP ,the groom's education qualification, it doesn't matter if he is having a job or not plays a vital role in dictating the terms to the Brides's family. And the Bride's family is no less, the invitation cards carry the Groom'squalification in Bold letters. I don't blame a single party for this meaningless extravaganza. Both are equally responsible for this Show.

Dowry is the bone of all such evils, many a times, all such marriages become a state to increase their economic and financial stability. 

Our acts against dowry are full of loopholes. these acts are severely abused.