Marriage parties - is it waste of money?

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

I read this link article. Related or not it points out the all important pont about the changing trends in the society about marriages. Which is why I quoted without giving a link. And about the dowry, recently a bride had slapped her groom, when he insisted dowry. She added, I don't need a groom who demands dowry. And finally, I'd like to state, this is yet glaring example that mirrors the changing trends in Marriage system.

 

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

I read this link article. Related or not it points out the all important pont about the changing trends in the society about marriages. Which is why I quoted without giving a link. And about the dowry, recently a bride had slapped her groom, when he insisted dowry. She added, I don't need a groom who demands dowry. And finally, I'd like to state, this is yet glaring example that mirrors the changing trends in Marriage system.

 

In India thousands of marriages take place every day. I think its about 1 crore assuming if as little as 2% of indian people get married every year. I am not sure if the quantity is even bigger though so these one or two incidents will not help the cause. 

You will be surprised to know that even educated girls encourage their parents to spend as much money as possible during marriage time as they also wish to look gorgious. 

 

 

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

suni51 wrote:

rambabu wrote:

Let me know about your opinion. Why we should talk about others' opinions? This is the forum for exchange of views. Usha's post says about the verdict of Apex court. This means, judiciary is convinced that ritualistic marriage is not necessary to declare that a man and woman are married.

 

I know many Telgu/AP Girls who have personally told me the stories of heavey dowry demands your area.

 

As far that mangal sutra story that is related to beef eating which is not relevant with this thread

http://www.ndtv.com/tamil-nadu-news/21-women-remove-mangalsutras-in-chennai-before-court-cancels-event-754818

 

I read this link article. Related or not it points out the all important pont about the changing trends in the society about marriages. Which is why I quoted without giving a link. And about the dowry, recently a bride had slapped her groom, when he insisted dowry. She added, I don't need a groom who demands dowry. And finally, I'd like to state, this is yet glaring example that mirrors the changing trends in Marriage system.

 

In India thousands of marriages take place every day. I think its about 1 crore assuming if as little as 2% of indian people get married every year. I am not sure if the quantity is even bigger though so these one or two incidents will not help the cause. 

You will be surprised to know that even educated girls encourage their parents to spend as much money as possible during marriage time as they also wish to look gorgious. 

 

I know this dreadful trend. It's more in AP. I don't know how this trend comes to an end. My eldest Son - in -law who's the vice president of a renowned IT firm in Bangalore, mysecond daughter, who's in states are earning crores and own a mini steel plant near Srikakulam, never took a dime from me. Because both my sons-in-law well aware that I don't give dowry and accept no dowry.

It all depends on the emancipation of the people surrounding you.

 

 

 

I agree that money spent on marriages is largely a waste. It would be better to hold the ceremony as simple as possible in presence of very close relatives only. 

Exactly Gulshanji. I treat it as a show and it's a sin as lot of food is thrown away

I agree with Gulshanji's views that it should be ideally kept as simple as possible which would hopefully make the demand for fat dowry less oppressive as I see marriage extravaganzas are mostly organized by greedy rich liberally with dowry loot. As far as elimination of dowry menace is concerned I am convinced that we are into a long dark tunnel the light at its end may elude us for any number of years imaginable or unimaginable as those who practice it are all powerful and well-entrenched - from a few ministers ,judges to what not! It is a kind of trade which suits both parties of a particular section!

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

Now a days marriages are getting expensive, even at a small town like my native place, many people are spending lavishly, in the end I could not understand, it seems to suggest the amount of competitiveness in getting back virtual and nominal prestige. 

I feel, marriages should be as simple as possible sans pomp and show. And I observed in suchextravagant marriages lot of food is wasted. This aspect will not be there if marriages are performed in a simple way and keeping them to limited family members and very close relatives and friends.

mohan manohar wrote:

Now a days marriages are getting expensive, even at a small town like my native place, many people are spending lavishly, in the end I could not understand, it seems to suggest the amount of competitiveness in getting back virtual and nominal prestige. 

Correct! All the show and pomp and splendor is nothing but an attempt of attracting false prestige!

And for the sake of this false prestige, many especially the girl's parents go for heavy loans and even sell their properties, ultimately becoming bankrupt.

Well, that's what they see as their trend. They thinks that they have to show all these in their cast to maintain reputation. Yes that's exactly I see.

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

usha manohar wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

 

I too don't feel like attending these extravagant marriage parties, where you are another face in the crowd. I just send a congratulatory message.

 

Many a times, I though why such extravaganza and high spending, alternatively, that sum could be deposited in savings account in the name of gal in order to secure her future in case of any diversion. 

usha manohar wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

 True Usha, and when such large crowds are present, even the hosts are unable to greet and welcome all the guests personally, lack of which is a bit irksome. When numbers are few, everyone gets to interact well and wish the newly married couple properly.

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

I too feel that marriage should be private ceremony attended by close friends and relatives and made memorable and enjoyable for the couple.In most weddings the parents and the couple do not know 90% of the crowd since they have never interacted with them.My own daughter had a registered marriage attended by 12 of us family members and a reception 2 months later in Bangalore attended by 150 guests...We all had a good time since we could interact freely with one another since there was no crowd and more importantly thats what the couple wanted...

Usha, that was exactly the way I too got married. We had a registered marriage in the office of the Registrar followed by a reception for close friends and relatives not more than 100. All the entire expenses were shared equally by me and Gopal from our own pockets, no single rupee taken from either my mum or his father. There was a lot of criticism we did face from some, but we remained firm on the way we wanted to celebrate.

Quite opposite to this, this October we attended the wedding ceremony of my nephew who is now based in Australia. The bride is Australian and our nephew and his parents spent a sinful amount on the wedding proceedings, the procession, display of firecrackers etc, since the Australians wanted to see how Indian weddings are celebrated. I personally felt that that could have achieved more effectively by having simple wedding but with more focus on rituals without spending so much money. But then everyone thinks differently!

 

It is a good trend Kalyani to go in for meaningful simple ceremonies and I see many youngsters wanting a simple wedding rather than splurge .. These days I find it very irritating to attend a big family wedding where you are just being jostled and you never get to actually interact with any of the people you would like to meet,  because of the crowd..

 True Usha, and when such large crowds are present, even the hosts are unable to greet and welcome all the guests personally, lack of which is a bit irksome. When numbers are few, everyone gets to interact well and wish the newly married couple properly.

 

And in such crowded marriage parties, where even the host cannot recognize the guests, anti social parasites take the advantage. Poor host thinks he's from the brides's side. And the Brides party thinks the guest is from  the groom's side. In this confusion, these parasites leave unnoticed after having a sumptuous free meal.

 

I have noticed some have made it an occasion to receive money and compensate marriage expenditures as all these are going at the same sides of coins.