Developing a Rapport with your children..

Unless children are given responsibilities , one cannot expect them to behave like adults overnight.Many parents want their children to be super humans and when they behave like normal beings they get upset..

Unless children are given responsibilities , one cannot expect them to behave like adults overnight.Many parents want their children to be super humans and when they behave like normal beings they get upset..

You know, children are potter's clay, you can mold them the way you want. Be a good potter.

Unless children are given responsibilities , one cannot expect them to behave like adults overnight.Many parents want their children to be super humans and when they behave like normal beings they get upset..

You know, children are potter's clay, you can mold them the way you want. Be a good potter.

Exactly ! another great mistake most parents make is comparing their children with one another. I have three and each one is different and I have had to deal with them differently and it is not easy.But it is definitely worth the effort to know about their individual aptitude and basic personality traits and deal accordingly.

Unless children are given responsibilities , one cannot expect them to behave like adults overnight.Many parents want their children to be super humans and when they behave like normal beings they get upset..

You know, children are potter's clay, you can mold them the way you want. Be a good potter.

Exactly ! another great mistake most parents make is comparing their children with one another. I have three and each one is different and I have had to deal with them differently and it is not easy.But it is definitely worth the effort to know about their individual aptitude and basic personality traits and deal accordingly.

Suppose your child is not interested in technical subjects, there is no use forcing him to be a doctor or engineer, he could be a great artist or big lawyer.

Most parents want to see their children as an extension of their ambitions and personalities which is unfair.You get to hear parents saying I wanted to be a doctor but never got the opportunity so now I want my daughter/son to become one ! this is very unfair on the child...Why not guide them and motivate them and then let them decide and make the choice :huh:

Most parents want to see their children as an extension of their ambitions and personalities which is unfair.You get to hear parents saying I wanted to be a doctor but never got the opportunity so now I want my daughter/son to become one ! this is very unfair on the child...Why not guide them and motivate them and then let them decide and make the choice :huh:

So true Usha, all I am seeing nowadays is parents herding their little children from one class to another without leaving them any time to do what they want, its just an extension fo all that they have themselves missed. But ultimately what they are not realizing is that they are only distancing themselves from their children, making their children more selfish and individualistic in the process.

Very true Kalyani.I tend to blame the entire educational system which of late has become so competitive that parents have no go but to pressurise their children to perform better.There is no time left for finer things in life and before you know they are grown up in an atmosphere that has made them efficient but lacking in many other aspects..

Drinking at home or with children and smoking in front of children is not good.
Afterall these habit are not good.

Drinking at home or with children and smoking in front of children is not good.
Afterall these habit are not good.

Isn't that double standard RAM ? I am not advising either drinking or smoking, but one cannot be judgmental about such issues, it is left to the individual to make his/her choice in the matter...

I feel, as the father has such habit and he do those things infront of his children then children surely follow the elder in such things.If father stops then there may be a chance of their son also may stop.

Even my dad's brother has smoking habit because my grand father have. So my grand father could not tell his son to stop it as he himself has that habit.

I feel, as the father has such habit and he do those things infront of his children then children surely follow the elder in such things.If father stops then there may be a chance of their son also may stop.

Even my dad's brother has smoking habit because my grand father have. So my grand father could not tell his son to stop it as he himself has that habit.

Yes I agree with that, we cannot set an example unless we ourselves have something to show for it.At the same time, if a person wants to drink or smoke, it is better to deal with it in a practical manner that gets the best results , instead of making an issue out of it

Very true Kalyani.I tend to blame the entire educational system which of late has become so competitive that parents have no go but to pressurise their children to perform better.There is no time left for finer things in life and before you know they are grown up in an atmosphere that has made them efficient but lacking in many other aspects..

True Usha, but I still blame even the parents and not just the system in general. The present education system is such that we cannot avoid it but then as parents we can also make the efforts to make children aware of the finer things, such as appreciating good art, understanding good classical music etc. But all around I see parents ferrying their children from one class after another, right from skating, drawing, dancing, football, swimming, abacus, phonics etc. etc. that there is no time left fro children to breathe free and really do something that they want to in their hearts. All of these activities simply MUST be done because other children are doing it. So where does this get the children? They become jack of all trades and master of none. And also even though they attend dance, art and music classes, they have become so mechanical that they cannot appreciate a good art form even when they see it. Everything for them revolves around I, me, myself and for me!

Very true Kalyani.I tend to blame the entire educational system which of late has become so competitive that parents have no go but to pressurise their children to perform better.There is no time left for finer things in life and before you know they are grown up in an atmosphere that has made them efficient but lacking in many other aspects..

True Usha, but I still blame even the parents and not just the system in general. The present education system is such that we cannot avoid it but then as parents we can also make the efforts to make children aware of the finer things, such as appreciating good art, understanding good classical music etc. But all around I see parents ferrying their children from one class after another, right from skating, drawing, dancing, football, swimming, abacus, phonics etc. etc. that there is no time left fro children to breathe free and really do something that they want to in their hearts. All of these activities simply MUST be done because other children are doing it. So where does this get the children? They become jack of all trades and master of none. And also even though they attend dance, art and music classes, they have become so mechanical that they cannot appreciate a good art form even when they see it. Everything for them revolves around I, me, myself and for me!

Thats so very true Kalyani ! it has become a highly competitive society with absolutely no time for finer things in life.I remember relatives poking fun at me because my son was going for guitar classes when he was in Pre-university. According to them he was wasting his time instead of studying and going for tuition classes ... Sometimes, people do get carried away by such talk and try to do what others are doing!

we guide our children from doing anything wrong.and they follow us.but we must also be very careful of doing anything wrong which can effect our child. as child follow what their elders do.we must give proper guidance to our child.so that in future they will become a good citizen.

we guide our children from doing anything wrong.and they follow us.but we must also be very careful of doing anything wrong which can effect our child. as child follow what their elders do.we must give proper guidance to our child.so that in future they will become a good citizen.

Thats true, it is important to develop the right values as far as possible and at the same time not to be overbearing and be forceful in what we do.One must remember that they are children only for a very short period in their life ..I have seen in many households children becoming very vengeful because of childhood trauma that they have been subjected to ..

we guide our children from doing anything wrong.and they follow us.but we must also be very careful of doing anything wrong which can effect our child. as child follow what their elders do.we must give proper guidance to our child.so that in future they will become a good citizen.

Thats true, it is important to develop the right values as far as possible and at the same time not to be overbearing and be forceful in what we do.One must remember that they are children only for a very short period in their life ..I have seen in many households children becoming very vengeful because of childhood trauma that they have been subjected to ..

I think this is not fair to force our own wishes we could not complete for ourselves be fulfilled through our children. They have their own wishes, thinking and personalities.

we guide our children from doing anything wrong.and they follow us.but we must also be very careful of doing anything wrong which can effect our child. as child follow what their elders do.we must give proper guidance to our child.so that in future they will become a good citizen.

Thats true, it is important to develop the right values as far as possible and at the same time not to be overbearing and be forceful in what we do.One must remember that they are children only for a very short period in their life ..I have seen in many households children becoming very vengeful because of childhood trauma that they have been subjected to ..

I think this is not fair to force our own wishes we could not complete for ourselves be fulfilled through our children. They have their own wishes, thinking and personalities.

This is something that most people forget ! They think that children are their extensions and have to do what they have not been able to achieve or left half way through...No wonder there are so many misunderstandings between parents and siblings ...

we guide our children from doing anything wrong.and they follow us.but we must also be very careful of doing anything wrong which can effect our child. as child follow what their elders do.we must give proper guidance to our child.so that in future they will become a good citizen.

Thats true, it is important to develop the right values as far as possible and at the same time not to be overbearing and be forceful in what we do.One must remember that they are children only for a very short period in their life ..I have seen in many households children becoming very vengeful because of childhood trauma that they have been subjected to ..

I think this is not fair to force our own wishes we could not complete for ourselves be fulfilled through our children. They have their own wishes, thinking and personalities.

This is something that most people forget ! They think that children are their extensions and have to do what they have not been able to achieve or left half way through...No wonder there are so many misunderstandings between parents and siblings ...

Now the situation is changing a bit as parents have better understanding with their children and know their choices. They know going against their wishes would fetch no results.

we guide our children from doing anything wrong.and they follow us.but we must also be very careful of doing anything wrong which can effect our child. as child follow what their elders do.we must give proper guidance to our child.so that in future they will become a good citizen.

Thats true, it is important to develop the right values as far as possible and at the same time not to be overbearing and be forceful in what we do.One must remember that they are children only for a very short period in their life ..I have seen in many households children becoming very vengeful because of childhood trauma that they have been subjected to ..

I think this is not fair to force our own wishes we could not complete for ourselves be fulfilled through our children. They have their own wishes, thinking and personalities.

This is something that most people forget ! They think that children are their extensions and have to do what they have not been able to achieve or left half way through...No wonder there are so many misunderstandings between parents and siblings ...

Now the situation is changing a bit as parents have better understanding with their children and know their choices. They know going against their wishes would fetch no results.

In a very small section of the society where people are more socially aware, but I see that in smaller towns and villages the mentality is very backward and narrow minded...

we guide our children from doing anything wrong.and they follow us.but we must also be very careful of doing anything wrong which can effect our child. as child follow what their elders do.we must give proper guidance to our child.so that in future they will become a good citizen.

Thats true, it is important to develop the right values as far as possible and at the same time not to be overbearing and be forceful in what we do.One must remember that they are children only for a very short period in their life ..I have seen in many households children becoming very vengeful because of childhood trauma that they have been subjected to ..

I think this is not fair to force our own wishes we could not complete for ourselves be fulfilled through our children. They have their own wishes, thinking and personalities.

This is something that most people forget ! They think that children are their extensions and have to do what they have not been able to achieve or left half way through...No wonder there are so many misunderstandings between parents and siblings ...

Now the situation is changing a bit as parents have better understanding with their children and know their choices. They know going against their wishes would fetch no results.

In a very small section of the society where people are more socially aware, but I see that in smaller towns and villages the mentality is very backward and narrow minded...

I think this differs from area to area, in our areas people are liberal and understanding and do not interfere much with their children's wishes.