In ancient period, dowry was not an important criteria in Indian society. It was given as a gift to the girl by her family during her marriage. It was given in the presence of all relatives and friends to ensure that everyone were witness to it. Like this way parents secured the life of their daughters in their husbands' house. Girls had freedom to keep this money with them. They also had freedom to use this money for their own needs.
As time passed, the groom's family started to ask more demands and money from girls' family. This was the origin of dowry system. Rich people were able to give more money to their girl children. But it was not possible for the poorest section of the society.
It is hard to say when dowry system started. Earlier it was optional, and it was gift to daughter from parents, or we can say that it was share in property of father of daughter which he gave her at time of marriage. But at present dowry is compulsory.
Dowry is an initial investment to enable young couple to begin married life. This is like initial capital in a business enterprise. The system has become very undesirable because of greed.
Marriage is not a business that there should be some capital investment and that has to be made by the bride's side. A groom must be worthy to maintain his family. Some may not have a huge money to set up a house filled with all the essentials and luxuries but one can start with the most essentials through his own income (nowadays mostly both earn) and with time all other requirements can be arranged. There is an immense satisfaction when a family is set up through one's own income and not through money from wife's family. Gift is altogether a different matter. In marriage gift can be given by either side and if both the families gift a bit sensibly then it helps the newly wed in their expenditure. That's it but dowry is not a gift but a demand which is highly unacceptable.
I am thinking many time that groom family who force to bride father for heavy dowry, how they show their face to bride family. Only shameless person can do it.
dowry is just a small help to the people who took the responsibility to make arrangements of marriage. Earlier mostly bridegroom parents used to take the responsibility so the bride parents used to help them by giving little amount. later with time it became compulsory for bride parents to give dowry and even became in such a way bride groom parents started demanding
Now the situation is changing. It is true,groom's parents demand dowry and the Bride's parents have to oblige. But do you know that there are parents who offer dowry, even if the groom's parents do not demand dowry. Such parents think not offering Dowry is below their prestige.
In my case, I neither gave dowry for my two daughters nor accepted dowry for my son. There may be people like me who married their sons and daughters without dowry.
@rambabu There are many such families who fix marriage without dowry and among such weddings many of them are traditional arranged marriages too. I got married without dowry and my brothers too got married without dowry and all these were arranged marriages. We need to change our mentality and dowry system will get abolished.
I'm in total agreement with you. You set an example by marrying without dowry Dowry is a social evil.Good things should start from home.
Wel, thats great Rambabu sir, we are against dowry. I am happy by listening to this. But all people in the world are not like you. Most of the bridegroom parents demand like anything. for them marriage is a kind of investment and business. Though bridegroom is against the dowry but his parents wont agree with him and they demand. From starting of match fix till the end of marriage they keep on grabbing money from the girls parents. they even grab money silly things also. At such situations bridegroom could not do anything and he just nod his head like buffallo in front of his parents.
But there are few bridegroom, though they obey their parents, at least they deposit the whole amount of dowry on both bride and bridegroom name or bride name.
Wel, thats great Rambabu sir, we are against dowry. I am happy by listening to this. But all people in the world are not like you. Most of the bridegroom parents demand like anything. for them marriage is a kind of investment and business. Though bridegroom is against the dowry but his parents wont agree with him and they demand. From starting of match fix till the end of marriage they keep on grabbing money from the girls parents. they even grab money silly things also. At such situations bridegroom could not do anything and he just nod his head like buffallo in front of his parents.
But there are few bridegroom, though they obey their parents, at least they deposit the whole amount of dowry on both bride and bridegroom name or bride name.
Sarala, Dowry system has deeply rooted in this country. It is not that easy to eradicate this evil totally. This evil even today is still alive. We are aware how even educated women too are becoming the victims of Dowry harassment, What I feel is women should revolt. They should come out and take the help of Law. Only then this social evil can be eliminated.
dowry is just a small help to the people who took the responsibility to make arrangements of marriage. Earlier mostly bridegroom parents used to take the responsibility so the bride parents used to help them by giving little amount. later with time it became compulsory for bride parents to give dowry and even became in such a way bride groom parents started demanding
Now the situation is changing. It is true,groom's parents demand dowry and the Bride's parents have to oblige. But do you know that there are parents who offer dowry, even if the groom's parents do not demand dowry. Such parents think not offering Dowry is below their prestige.
In my case, I neither gave dowry for my two daughters nor accepted dowry for my son. There may be people like me who married their sons and daughters without dowry.
@rambabu There are many such families who fix marriage without dowry and among such weddings many of them are traditional arranged marriages too. I got married without dowry and my brothers too got married without dowry and all these were arranged marriages. We need to change our mentality and dowry system will get abolished.
I'm in total agreement with you. You set an example by marrying without dowry Dowry is a social evil.Good things should start from home.
I was/am against this practice and so conveyed my opinion about this system before marriage to my parents and other elders. I was absolutely adamant of not giving dowry while getting married so were my brothers against taking dowry during their marriages.
The family who do not ask dowry for conducting marriage is really a great family. The members in such families are broad minded and kind heartened. I am sure that the girls who have luck to enter in such families can lead happy life. But very few families have such mentality. Most of the families think that conducting marriage by asking high dowry is a way to earn money for their private purposes.
Taking dowry is not wrong if it is not dependable. Whatever the bride parents give they should accept. As girl parents never think to send her with empty hands right. so until there is no demand it is ok.
But some cases are there, where people did nt take dowry but after getting married they harass the bride to get something from her house when ever she goto her mothers house
