Every individual in this world needs atleast one FRIEND in their life with whom they can share their problems. A true friend is a person, who is ready to help at any course of life , in any situation of life. Having this nature, a person named Nikhil walked into my life, firstly, like a stranger, but a true friend, later.
We studied in same college and completed our degree course of engineering. Although we studied in same college, we never saw each other or we never met accidently. We both got recruited by the same software company of pune which had came to our college but still, we didn't met. After we were called for training, finally, we met on the very first day of training. We became good friends very fast when we came to know that we are from same college, only the difference is of branch or stream. We were called for development training and helped each other whenever there was need of it.
During training , we met with other trainees which came from different regions of Maharashtra. We formed a very big group of 23 people and converted each and every second of training , as the training was very rigorous 24*7. We enjoyed every minute spent in training. We stayed late night in the company because of assignments completion, even stayed the whole night in office and went home at 6 or 7 AM in morning and again back at 11 AM in the office. Yes, those days were very tough yet very interesting.
After completion of training, we were shifted to main office premises. When we got shifted to main office, all faces were new except ours. Initially, we were few but later on, became huge group of friends. One day, we came across that we are allocated to different projects but still we stayed in touch either through company's messenger during work or during lunch. He got allocated to iPhone application project and myself to web application project. Yes, its true that when one person gets allocated to any project, he or she never has time for other activities. Actually, it depends on complexity level of project. Similar case was for myself. My project schedule was very tight but still we spared out time for fun activities like going for trekking, partying and many such. We pulled each other's leg whenever we got to pull. We never missed out on anything. We laughed in joy and took moments or situations seriously whenever it required to be taken.
Overall, being friends or rather good friends, we enjoyed our life in a very different way.
OUR FRIENDSHIP ROCKS !!! FRIENDS ARE FOREVER !!!
Palakkad Fort – It is located in the middle of Palakkad town. It was built by Hyder Ali, Sultan of Mysore in 1766. When he decided to conquer Malabar and cochin areas he considered this place as a midpoint to both locations. It would be easier for him to plan and move his men and equipments to both places easily.There is a big open area near this known as Kottamaithanam. Now for tourism promotion a good garden is created near this. Also there is a traffic park for children. Lot of people comes for morning walk and exercise in the fort. There is a canal around the fort where it is said that crocodiles where there to attack enemies falling in it. There is an Hanuman Temple inside the fort. Still worship is going on there and lot of people visit daily to see hanuman moorthy.
Malampuzha Dam – Malampuzha dam is 13 Kilo meters from Palakkad town. It is built in 1955 and since then it is being used for tourism promotion. There is a very good garden , an aquarium, Japanese garden, the big Malampuzha Yakshi made out of rock, fountains, boating and cable car service which gives a beautiful aerial view of the garden. This is located in a beautiful location surrounded by hills. This dam supplies water for irrigation purpose of the entire district.
Dhoni waterfalls – Dhoni is 2 kilo meters from malampuzha and 15 kilo meters from Palakkad town. This place is a forest area where there is a steep hill . people used to come here for trekking . There is a beautiful waterfalls running down from the hill.
Kalpathy Temple – The lord Viswanatha temple in kalpathy is 3 kilo meters from Palakkad town. The festival here ie; Ratholsavam is very famous which attracts a lot of tourists. The festival is for seven days. There is agrahara of Brahmins which is now treated as a heritage and conserved.
Silent Valley – This is situated at an altitude of 2000 meters in the Nilgiri hills. It is a national park. The river kunthi runs down the hill. This place is known for its tribal population. Around 120 tribal groups are there. These groups are called Ooru. There is a Shiva temple on the hill.
Nelliampathy – It is the Orange town of Kerala. Lot of orange and tea estates are operating here. There is a beautiful waterfalls called Seetharkundu around 800-1000 meters above sea level. There is a story behind its name. It is believed that during vanavasa Ram, laxman and Seetha devi lived here. The waterfalls got its name because Settha Devi has taken bath in it. This place is just around 70 Kilo meters from Palakkad. Pothundi Dam is on the way and one will get a beautiful aerial view of it while going upwards to Nelliampathy. There is a beautiful garden in Pothundi dam also.
Parambikulam wild Life Sanctuary – This place is situated around 120 kilometers from Palakkad in the western Ghats. Though this place is situated in palakkad, its entry is through Tamilnadu. One has to travel via pollachi to reach here. You can find the oldest teak tree kannimaree here. Wild buffaloes and deer can be seen in a lot. There is a bird observatory also there.
Kottayi – This place is situated 15 kilometers from Palakkad. This is the last resting place of karnatic music maestro Shree Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavather and hence a place of interest for music lovers.
Killikurussi mangalam – This is the birth place of popular Malayalam poet Kunjan Ezhuthassan. He is known as the father of ottam thullal , a traditional art of kerala. May fifth is observed as Kunchan day.
Anangan Hills – This is a beautiful upcoming tourist spot known for its scenic beauty. It is situated near Ottapalam town. Muncipality has submitted a tourism project which includes cottages in the hill, cable car an garden. You can get the view of entire Ottapalam town and bharathapuzha river which is one of the longest river in kerala running through Ottapalam.
The Major places for stay are Hotel Fort Palace (3 star), Hotel Indraprastha (3 star), Hotel Shri Chakra (3 star). Government travelers bunglows are also available for stay.
Being a single parent and the sole income earner of your family simultaneously is very challenging. As we can find in our society, if one is a single earner as well as parent then he has to face many problems.There are so many difficulties that confront a single parent who is also the bread-winner of the family.
Married couples have an easier situation and can share the duties of parenting. By getting married, couples makes it more easier for them to understand the exact situation and they can understand their duties of parenting better then others. Since they can divide the job and duties of parenting, couples who are married generally have a better situation than single parents. Husbands and wives fare better and can deal with the parenting duties.
The single parent, on the other hand, must face his or her challenges alone. A single parent facing parenting challenges alone is not an easy task. Most of the single parents are mothers of young kids. Even though most single parents are mothers, single fathers are also raising their children alone. Single parents are primarily mothers, although there are cases, albeit rare though, where children are raised by their fathers. You will see that out of men and women, although fathers are out there raising their children, but a mother is what children need the most, especially when they are young. Absolutely nothing can take the place of a mother in this world. There's no substitute for mother's love.
Quite often, this mother has very little formal education and may even lack a high school diploma. In countries like India, it is common for the mother to lack much formal education. As most of these mothers lack sufficient formal education it becomes tough for them to raise their children.
If you are a single parent and doing a job as well, you may come across a number of problems. Chances are there that you may run into a lot of stumbling blocks if you are an employed single parent. Being an employed single parent is really tough. Single parents who go out to work will experience many difficulties peraining to the well being of their children.
Married couples can share the load so, it is easier.Married couples have an easier time because they can share the responsibilities and help each other. It is much easier for married couple to share the load than single parents.
Finances are always important. One's financial state is paramount in raising children. In today's world it is very very important to watch over your finances all the time. Financial considerations are a priority when you have children. There are single fathers who raise their kids alone but, usually it is the mother who does it and given that the case the mother is not good at managing finances at all times. Dads can be lone parents as well but in general when there is only one parent these are moms who need to have a thorough understanding of their finances so that money does'nt become much of a problem in the future when the children grow up and expenses increase many folds.
Although there are a so many kids who are raised by single fathers, but it is a rare case, and more often than not, they are raised by a mother. Normally, mothers are the ones to raise children. Sometimes the single mother does not even have the minimum earning source, so life gets pretty rough and tough. Life is more difficult for a single mother who has not earned a formal education. It is even more difficult for a single mother who, at times, who does not have the support of her family. In situations like these, single mothers usually have a hard time supporting themselves and their children.
In spite of the inherent obstacles to being a successful single parent, it is not an impossible task. Even though it is one of the hardest jobs in the world to be a single parent, it can be done and done well. I've seen many examples where it hasn't been impossible to be successful at it. Although there are natural stumbling blocks when you try to be a good single parent, this is not impossible to accomplish, though I agree it is difficult, very difficult infact.
A homemaker can indeed provide a secure, nurturing environment for kids in a one-parent home. Children who only have one stay at home parent are still able to have a safe and stable home enviornment. There is this friend of mine whose father works in Canada since her childhood and visits India only once in a year, that too for two weeks or so. It is her mother who has always been with her. There is another old lady who works as our domestic help since she was sixteen years of age when her husband died leaving behind a child. Though there was much help from my grand parents, no one can rule out her own contribution in raising her son who now works as a major in the army. I think that's great, isn't it? Therefore, in a single parent home, a homemaker can absolutely provide a nurturing and secure environment for her children. Despite being a single parent, a homemaker is quite capable of ensuring that her children have a good future.
There are always a lot of problems when you are a single parent, making a good home for your family that is safe and happy is not easy. It is very difficult for single parents to provide a good home in a safe and happy environment for their little ones. Single parenthood is difficult and ensuring an enjoyable and secure home environment is even more difficult. As a single parent, you may face a lot of ups and downs in your efforts to tackle numerous such tasks that matter a lot for a good future of your children. All Want to say is, it’s not easy but, it is doable. It's not simple but, it is possible. It is achieveable, though very difficult. Nothing is impossible in this world.
The foremost fact to consider is that children are not grown-ups. Most importantly, remember that they are not adults like you and me. It's so vital to keep that in mind. They do not lay weigh on the same magnitude as grown-ups do and they also don't perceive thing from a grown-up’s perspective. They don't see things in the same way nor do they think or feel the way that adults do. They are not pressed down with the same issues that grown people think are important and they don't understand everything from a grown person view.
A feast in a well-known five-star restaurant and leisurely hours during night for an adult is alike a bowl of popcorn, a carafe of Kool-Aid and an electrifying pastime of old maid for a kid. As adults, we are misunderstood because no matter if we are feasting in a five-star restaurant or staying at home having leisure time is nothing like the kids would understand, they would think of that as playing old maid, eating popcorn and having a carafe of kool-aid.
A fairy-tale told by a caring parent or a sonnet sung is superior to a kid than any TV series or movie ever made. In the eyes of a child, there will never be a TV show or movie that can be compared with the simplest song or story told to them by a loving father or mother. A parent telling fairy-tales is far better than any TV series or movies ever made for a kid.
Just remember that kids are not grown ups. Keep in mind that children can't be expected to behave like adults. Just don't forget that they are not adults. A kid is a kid, pretty much different from you and me. They are not old enough to see things the way an adult does. They lack the experience and maturity to view the world through an adult's eyes. They are young and hence have a viewpoint that is entirely different. At their young age they haven't yet learned to visualize things from an adult perspective.
Snack food, juice and old maid is to them what a five-star meal is to us. An expensive dinner to us, is what in between meal snacks and old maid to our children. Attention from the parent, say a lullaby or a story book is much better than TV, DVDs and Video Games. The attention of a parent, is much superior to such material things. We should go for a story book rather than watching TV. A child appreciates being read or sung to much more than watching the television as it demonstrates real time and focus from their parent.
Children call for a lot of attention from their parents. A wealth of parental attention is vital to a child's well-being. Paying ample amounts of attention to your children is a requirement of being a parent. To fulfill the child's needs, parents must provide them with the much needed love and care. It is possible for a single working parent to make time for their children and provide them with confidence they will need to succeed in the world. A working single parent can have time with their children and also give their children all the support to become successful in their lives.
In today’s economy it is hard to make it if both parents do not work, it can be tricky sometimes to juggle work, children, your home and other important things, but it is possible to raise a well adjusted child in a home where both parents work. Single working parents can make time for their children while providing them with the confidence they will need to succeed in life. Children want and need the attention and love of the adults in their daily lives. The daily attention and care of their caregivers is vital to children.
Children require constant attention. Have you ever noticed how stupid they sometimes act to seek our attention? That's what the need and deserve. No matter how busy or stressed parents are, even single parents, they must set aside time each day to focus on their children's needs. It is essential for time to be set aside each day for parents, whether they be single or not, to attend to their children's needs. Ensuring that a child gets what it requires means their parent, and that includes a sole career, needs to dedicate daily time to understand what that might mean, even when that parent is at full stretch at work and emotionally. It is absolutely essential that a child gets some quality time from the parent every day irrespective of how preoccupied the parent may be.
A predictable and supportive home life infuses a child with the confidence for successful participation out in the world. A child's confidence and success in the outside world grows from a home life. Consistancy and encouragement at home will produce a child who is not afraid to join in with the outside world. When you give a child plenty of support as well as a stable home life, he'll develop the confidence he needs to become a successful part of society. Happy parenting!
1. What experiences might the person you befriend have had?
The person whom I have to befriend might have mental health issues of different nature. On the one hand, these can be common mental health problems like stress, anxiety, anger, temper tantrums, relationship conflict, low self esteem, lack of confidence, lack of motivation, feeling of loneliness, mild depression etc. On the other hand, these can be complex mental health issues like paranoia, severe depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia etc.
These issues could be because of various experiences in a woman’s life like being left alone, being deceived in her relationship, having some traumatic past experience, undergoing some change in life like marriage, divorce, loss of somebody , being single parent, having faced humiliation by friends, family members or relatives, having no positive engagement, drug/alcohol dependence etc.
2. What might be their expectations from befriending? (their hopes and fears)
The hopes of a befriendee from befriending could be:-
a) somebody to talk to and share her feelings and emotions
b) somebody to listen to her problematic situations that she is undergoing
c) somebody to be empathetic and understanding
d) getting some answers to her questions
e) help to come out of her confusion and doubts
f) getting some practical suggestions if asked or needed
g) guidance and support
h) to build up a friendly and trustworthy relationship
The fears of a befriendee from befriending could be:-
a) apprehension of being judged by a befriender
b) being ridiculed or laughed at
c) being misunderstood
d) fear of disclosure of her confidential matter
e) intrusion into her privacy
f) fear of being rejected
g) fear of facing insensitivity and irresponsibility
3. What are your expectations about doing befriending? (your hopes and fears)
My hopes from befriending would be:-
a) to be able to understand her problems and worries without any prejudices
b) to be able to resolve her problem without being judgemental
c) to help her come out of her confusions in the most creative way
d) to develop an honest and friendly relation still maintaining professional boundaries
e) to bring positive energy and enthusiasm in her life
My expectations from befriending would be to utilize my skills, learn new skills and experiences and thus helping her in the best possible way. This will help me to upgrade my theoretical concepts and enhance my practical exposure
My fears from befriending would be:-
a) amount of time required by her to open up with me.
b) fear of getting the process of befriending hampered/derailed due to her resistance/inhibitions (at any point in befriending)
c) risk to be at her anger and frustrations
d) fear of being affected by her assumptions
e) fear of being generalized by her due to her past experiences
f) risk to be at her over dependency and over expectations
g) fear of any kind of miscommunications and misunderstandings in befriending
Barriers to good listening are:-
a) Interruptions
b) Divided attention
c) Mind preoccupied with something
d) Any kind of distraction
e) Doing two things simultaneously
f) Urge to talk /being talkative
g) Lack of patience
h) Restlessness
i) Lack of proper communication
j) Lack of interest
k) Being unwell physically or mentally
l) Being prejudiced
1st case study –Theresa is a divorced lady and has been sexually abused in her early childhood. She lives alone at present and her only source of income is her pension.
1. What are the issues that need to be considered when befriending Theresa? What may be difficult?
The issues that she is/might be facing are:-
a) Depression
b) Low- self esteem
c) Low confidence
d) Lack of motivation
e) Anxiety and stress
f) Fear and insecurity
g) Negative experience in her relationship
h) Feeling of isolation and loneliness
The difficulties during befriending her might be:-
a) Getting her acceptance and winning her faith
b) Building up rapport with her
c) Bringing her out of inhibitions and enable her to share her unpleasant experiences
d) Inconsistency in befriending due to her mood swings
e) Restricted communication
2. What do you think will be helpful for her in terms of befriending?
I think keeping following basic things in mind will be helpful in befriending her
a) Active and attentive listening to her without being judgemental about anything
b) Giving time to understand her situation
c) To assure her of confidentiality to make her feel secure
d) Encouraging her to express and open up
e) Giving positive verbal reinforcement to make her to feel confident
f) Befriending on one-on one basis will be more helpful
g) To develop a trustworthy and friendly relationship with her
h) Focussing on her strengths and qualities will enable her to gain self esteem
i) Encourage her to regularise and live a balanced life by doing daily activities, taking care of her food habits, avoiding smoking or drinking habits if any, practising exercises workouts or relaxation techniques
3. Think about some of the issues that will be raised for you on a personal level and how these may impact on the befriending?
The issue which may come up is I being affected by her distress situation and getting mildly stressed and saddened. This may lead to lack of my energy level during befriending.
2nd Case study –Francine is 25 year old lady who had many short term relations in her past. Now she is single but she is so much engrossed in her past that she doesn’t have any interest to go for any further relationship. Though she enjoys watching movies and going out, she finds it hard to develop friendship with anyone
1. What are the issues that need to be considered when befriending Francine? What may be difficult
The issues that need to be considered in her case:-
a) Her unpleasant past experience
b) Lack of direction in her life
c) Lack of responsibility and sincerity in her behaviour
d) Lack of a goal, ambition
e) Lack of friend circle
Difficulties might be:-
a) Befriending may be affected due to insincerity
b) Lack of basic manners and discipline
c) Her assumptions and pre conceived notions before getting into friendly relation with someone
2. What do you think will be helpful for her in terms of befriending?
Following things can be helpful in befriending her
a) Being practical and realistic in approach
b) Developing friendly relation maintaining professionalism and boundaries
c) Encouraging her to talk about the unpleasant experience once the rapport and trust is build up.
d) Encouraging her to build a supporting philosophy in life to maximize her internal strength
e) Talking about both her strengths and weaknesses will help her to increase on her strengths and overcome her weaknesses
f) Giving some practical suggestions to help her find a direction in life.
g) Encouraging her to go for outdoor activities on her own and making a circle of her age group
h) Encouraging her to explore positive things to make her develop some hobbies.
3. Think about some of the issues that will be raised for you on a personal level and how these may impact on the befriending?
The issue which may come up is getting myself anxious and confused due to her behaviour which could interfere with the pace and quality of befriending.
Looking after yourself in the course of befriending:-
1. How do you know when you are stressed?
I know I am stressed when following things start happening to me.
a) Occupied and dominated with disturbing thoughts continuously
b) Reluctance to carry out routine tasks
c) Frequent irritation, anger and frustration without valid reason
d) Lack of sound sleep, restlessness
e) Frequent headaches, body ache
f) Lack of appetite
g) Lack of concentration
h) Feeling of disinterest
i) Lack of joy and happiness
2. What are the telltale signs such as headaches, poor sleep?
These are signals of being stressed and anxious about something. The telltale signs are mentioned in the answer to first question.
3. What do you do to look after yourself?
a) try bringing myself back to my routine life
b) doing work outs/exercises
c) talk to some of my friends/relatives and family members
d) go for watching movies ,shopping or roaming around different places
e) practise yoga and relaxation techniques
f) read some inspirational , spiritual books
g) listen to some soothing music
h) regularise my eating pattern
i) encourage and motivate myself thinking about how on my own I had overcome the difficult situations earlier in my life
j) reward myself either in kind or verbally.
4. What support do you have in your life?
I have my family, friends, and relatives as support in my life.
In this modern era teenagers are getting crazy for bikes there are many reasons for it . Many parents dont like bikes and they strongly oppose it but teenagers try to persuade their parents and get bike . As the income of the people is getting higher and higher having a bike is not that big deal for many people. The reasons why teenagers want to have bike are
1.attitude- Bikes have become a necessity especially for college students to show their status or to show off their attitude . the more costly or good looking bike the more attitude they carry.
2. jealousy- some teenagers are very jealous of each other. To prove they are better than each other they try to get the best gadgets , the best bike etc.
3. To impress girls- Some teenagers have got a wrong belief that girls get attracted to them if they have a good bike and they take the girls with them for ride.they think girls will be impress if they have a bike which is best and no one has.
4.easy to travel- some teenagers have got a thinking that travelling through bus and train is very boring and uncomfortable and they think having a own vehicle to travel will make their life comfortable.
5.night life- The modern culture is influencing lot of teenagers. some teenagers like going out in night to clubs or to hang out with their friends they need bike to travel at night time.
This are some of the reasons which have made the teenagers crazy for bikes and this craze is more influenced by movies. Many movies like dhoom etc have bikes stunts which makes the teenagers more crazy for having bikes increasing the number of vehicles and traffic in many cities.
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