1. What experiences might the person you befriend have had?
The person whom I have to befriend might have mental health issues of different nature. On the one hand,  these can be common mental health problems like stress, anxiety, anger, temper tantrums, relationship conflict, low self esteem, lack of confidence, lack of motivation, feeling of loneliness, mild depression etc. On the other hand, these can be complex mental health issues like paranoia, severe depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia etc.
These issues could be because of various experiences in a woman’s life like being left alone, being deceived in her relationship, having some traumatic past experience, undergoing some change in life like marriage, divorce, loss of somebody , being single parent, having faced humiliation by friends, family members or relatives, having no positive engagement, drug/alcohol dependence etc.

2. What might be their expectations from befriending? (their hopes and fears)
The hopes of a befriendee from befriending could be:-
a) somebody to talk to  and share her feelings and emotions
b) somebody to listen to her problematic situations that she is undergoing
c) somebody to be empathetic and understanding
d) getting some answers to her questions
e) help to come out of her confusion and doubts
f) getting some practical suggestions if asked or needed
g) guidance and support
h) to build up a friendly and trustworthy relationship

The fears of a befriendee from befriending could be:-
a) apprehension of being judged by a befriender
b) being ridiculed or laughed at
c) being misunderstood
d) fear of disclosure of her confidential matter
e) intrusion into her privacy
f) fear of being rejected
g) fear of facing insensitivity and irresponsibility

3. What are your expectations about doing befriending? (your hopes and fears)
My hopes from befriending would be:-
a) to be able to understand her problems and worries without any prejudices
b) to be able to resolve her problem  without being judgemental
c) to help her come out of her confusions in the most creative way
d) to develop an honest and friendly relation still maintaining professional boundaries
e) to bring positive energy and enthusiasm in her life
My expectations from befriending would be to utilize my skills, learn new skills and experiences and thus helping her in the best possible way. This will help me to upgrade my theoretical concepts and enhance my practical exposure

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My fears from befriending would be:-
a) amount of time required by her to open up with me.
b) fear of getting the process of befriending hampered/derailed due to  her resistance/inhibitions (at any point in befriending)
c) risk to be at her anger and frustrations
d) fear of being affected by her assumptions
e) fear of being generalized by her due to her past experiences
f) risk to be at her over dependency and over expectations
g) fear of any kind of miscommunications and misunderstandings in befriending

 Listening Skills – An important tool in befriending
Barriers to good listening are:-
a) Interruptions
b) Divided attention
c) Mind preoccupied with something
d) Any kind of distraction
e) Doing two things simultaneously
f) Urge to talk /being talkative
g) Lack of patience
h) Restlessness
i) Lack of proper communication
j) Lack of interest
k) Being unwell physically or mentally
l) Being prejudiced

Case studies:
1st case study –Theresa is a divorced lady and has been sexually abused in her early childhood. She lives alone at present and her only source of income is her pension.
1. What are the issues that need to be considered when befriending Theresa? What may be difficult?
The issues that she is/might be facing are:-
a) Depression
b) Low- self esteem
c) Low confidence
d) Lack of motivation
e) Anxiety and stress
f) Fear and insecurity
g) Negative experience in her relationship
h) Feeling of isolation and loneliness

The difficulties during befriending her might be:-
a) Getting her acceptance and winning her faith
b) Building up rapport with her
c) Bringing her out of inhibitions and enable her to share her  unpleasant experiences
d) Inconsistency in befriending due to her mood swings
e) Restricted communication

2. What do you think will be helpful for her in terms of befriending?
I think keeping following basic things in mind will be helpful in befriending her
a) Active and attentive listening to her without being judgemental about anything
b) Giving   time to understand her situation
c) To assure her of confidentiality to make her feel secure
d) Encouraging her to express and open up
e) Giving positive verbal reinforcement to make her  to feel confident
f) Befriending on one-on one basis will be more helpful
g) To develop a trustworthy and friendly relationship with her
h) Focussing on her strengths and qualities will enable her to gain self esteem
i) Encourage her to regularise and live a balanced  life by doing daily activities, taking care of her food habits, avoiding smoking or drinking habits if any, practising exercises workouts or relaxation techniques

3. Think about some of the issues that will be raised for you on a personal level and how these may impact on the befriending?
The issue which may come up is I being affected by her distress situation and getting mildly stressed and saddened. This may lead to lack of my energy level during befriending.

2nd Case study –Francine is 25 year old lady who had many short term relations in her past. Now she is single but she is so much engrossed in her past that she doesn’t have any interest to go for any further relationship. Though she enjoys watching movies and going out, she finds it hard to develop friendship with anyone

1. What are the issues that need to be considered when befriending Francine? What may be difficult
The issues that need to be considered in her case:-
a) Her unpleasant past experience
b) Lack of direction in her life
c) Lack of responsibility and sincerity in her behaviour
d) Lack of a goal, ambition
e) Lack of friend circle

 
Difficulties might be:-
a) Befriending may be affected due to insincerity
b) Lack of basic manners and discipline
c) Her assumptions and pre conceived notions before getting into friendly relation with someone

2. What do you think will be helpful for her in terms of befriending?
Following things can be helpful in befriending her
a) Being practical and realistic in approach
b) Developing friendly relation maintaining professionalism and boundaries
c) Encouraging her to talk about the unpleasant experience once the rapport and trust is build up. 
d) Encouraging her to build a supporting philosophy in life to maximize her internal strength
e) Talking about both her strengths and weaknesses will help her to increase on her strengths and overcome her weaknesses
f) Giving some practical suggestions to help her find a direction in life.
g) Encouraging her to go for outdoor activities on her own and making a circle of her age group
h) Encouraging her to explore positive things to make her develop some hobbies.

3. Think about some of the issues that will be raised for you on a personal level and how these may impact on the befriending?
The issue which may come up is getting myself anxious and confused due to her behaviour which could interfere with the pace and quality of befriending.

Looking after yourself in the course of befriending:-
1. How do you know when you are stressed?
I know I am stressed when following things start happening to me.
a) Occupied and dominated  with disturbing thoughts continuously
b) Reluctance to carry out routine tasks
c) Frequent irritation, anger and frustration without valid reason
d) Lack of sound sleep, restlessness
e) Frequent headaches, body ache
f) Lack of appetite
g) Lack of concentration
h) Feeling of disinterest
i) Lack of joy and happiness

2. What are the telltale signs such as headaches, poor sleep?
These are signals of being stressed and anxious about something. The telltale signs are mentioned in the answer to first question.

3. What do you do to look after yourself?
a) try bringing myself back to my routine life
b) doing work outs/exercises
c)  talk to some of my friends/relatives and family members
d) go for watching movies ,shopping or roaming around different places
e) practise yoga and relaxation techniques
f) read some inspirational , spiritual books
g) listen to some soothing music
h) regularise  my eating pattern
i) encourage and motivate myself thinking about how on my own I had overcome the      difficult situations earlier in my life
j) reward myself either in kind or verbally.

4. What support do you have in your life?
I have my family, friends, and relatives as support in my life.