COMPARISON    BUG

The history of comparison is as old as the human history. I am not sure of the facts when Adam existed alone but I have, sure, an imaginary clip in my mind as to what might have happened when Eve arrived. Consider for a moment ,
Adam: Oh! You seem to have come straight from the heavens, if I ‘m not mistaken.
Eve: How do you know?
Adam: Your eyes so beautiful, and such a grace in your steps. That says all. None but the Almighty alone can create that.
Eve: Thank you. Probably this world will be full of others like us. But I’m the first creation, He may not put all the same artistic details in others, you know?
Adam: So aptly said but…I beg you to take those words back… er… I mean….first …creation…
Eve: Yeah, ye I get that…I get that..,I mean creation of the other type, probably the one you call a female.
Adam: Though I belong to the other type but I think, you know,the matter about the artistic details, goes perfectly with me. Your first work is always the most beloved one. With my creation Gods must have shouted, “EUREKA.”
Eve: ………………………..
Adam: ………..
Eve: …………………….
Adam: …………..
Eve: …………………………………………………………………..
And so on.
So you can see for yourself how comparison bug might have started multiplying.
 (Have you marked? Eve’s dotted lines are a bit longer than those of Adam’s? Alright, but please don’t start a comparison).
 Comparison bug has, by now, infected all the species of animals living in this universe. Please don’t be surprised when I use the words ‘animals’ and ‘universe’. When a tiger chases a herd of deer, it must be comparing the ones faster off and the others comparatively slower, of course in the twinkling of an eye, so that it could catch one easily. And I also wanted to keep the possibilities open for NASA, since it is  trying really hard to find signs of life on celestial bodies other than earth. Hence the word ‘universe’.
From our childhood to adolescence and there on to adulthood it is  comparison all the way and to the day when wrinkles begin eclipsing the dimples it’s comparison only that ensures fun and enjoyment. It adds spice to any discussion, it makes a debate hot, it brings out the finer points about the characteristic properties of those compared and it enlivens otherwise pale, lifeless and numb events. In rare instances it is also accompanied with live action. When I was in 8th standard I was a diehard fan of Amitabh Bachchan. But there was a different school of thought that considered Rajesh Khanna a better actor. Bansi, my bossom friend belonged to that school. One day we somehow got entangled  in the comparison of the superstars and after a one-hour hot discussion we were in the mid of an action scene which ended in my nose blowing blood and Bansi’s right eye’s corner having a dark scar. Probably on that day Amitabh Bachchan would have eaten Shahi Paneer and Pulao and Rajesh Khanna might have enjoyed his supper with chicken butter masala and rumali roti but they perhaps were little  cognizant of the fact that their fans ,in a far off, small town, fought  a deadly  duo to establish the stars’ supremacy. We ended up our youth comparing film stars, cricketers, class mates, girls, ourselves, academic subjects, carriers, teachers, courses,events, Gods  and probably every hell of a thing in this universe. If you ponder over comparison characteristic of Homosapiens, you will gradually come to realize that comparison is the source of sustenance. Think for a while. On a boring, monotonous, tiring, routine work day you are sitting in your office chamber and assume you do not find yourself in a frame of mind suitable to give a push to the targeted project work. Then a colleague enters and she comes up with a praise for you, “ Your shirt matches your complexion well. And nobody in the office looks as smart as you.” “Really I mean it.”,She says smiling. The moment she leaves your cabin, you get up and slip in front of the mirror and say to yourself, “Indeed ,I have maintained my physique well even to this age.” You shake off  your gratefulness to Godrej and Loreal  who have helped you so much with dodging your colleagues about your graying hair and beard. The words echo in your mind’s eye. “NO BODY IN THE OFFICE…….NOBODY IN THE OFFICE……NOBODY IN THE OFFICE …LOOKS AS SMART…  .” You are infected. The comparison bug has started multiplying.
 Now let’s see what might have happened had there been no comparison. The mobile tower behind my house is high. Everest is also high. I have cleared a test to enter a local private firm. He also passed the Joint Entrance Test for IITs. On Saturdays he has to conduct a quiz competition in his school. Amitabh Bachchan also conducted a similar program called 'KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI”. The girl next door is beautiful. Aishwarya, Kareena and Katrina are also beautiful....and so on. So I think it is self explanatory and does not need any more illustrations to establish the importance of comparison.
 Khanna, my next door neighbour, told me the other day that he had nicknamed himself as MM and he challenged me to guess why. Obviously I couldn't. Then he revealed that whenever he and his wife returned from a party or a movie or any outdoor trip his wife would stand in front of him, shake her long silky hair, give a 2 cm smile, take Khanna's hands in her own, look straight into his eyes and ask, “Was the heroine in the play more beautiful than me?” or “Did Mrs. Saxena look better than me?” or “Was the girl's eyes  who served the drinks, more alluring than mine since I saw you staring her?” So that was it. Poor Khanna had named himself as “MAGIC MIRROR”. Remember “SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS”? The wicked queen always asked the magic mirror who was the fairest? Now you know how Khanna had to play the enslaved spirit in the mirror!
 Such Khannas are found in almost all places and are the infected byproducts(if you are not a Khanna and the word 'byproduct' does not displease you) produced as the deadly bite of the comparison bug. I only hope the analogy 'byproduct' does not need an explanation. The main product, of course, was Mrs. khanna.
 So dear readers, at last I thought of saying that only simplicity could be used as an ointment against the bites of comparison bug and that a simple man alone would be making no comparisons but when I thought a bit more seriously, gradually I could make out that it was not that easy because it is always difficult to be simple. Moreover the questions of how simple or simpler and simplest will arise and we will find ourselves in the grip of the bug again.
 But there are good effects too. If there are no comparisons there will be no competitive spirit, there will be no improvements, there will be no attractions and repulsions and so on.
 To conclude I hope you will say 'twas a good article'. Mind you, I didn't say better or the best......Keep the bug away ….......Keep the bug away.

The weirdest time of my school was whenever I had a test or exam. There was something eerie about that time....especially if it’s the final exams. The final exams used to be in the summers so there was something that was different then like the sound of the rustic fan while you're studying, the smell of papers from your notebooks, the pencil box you'd so neatly arrange and keep. There’s an unsaid pressure you feel that’s there and all you want is the exam to be over....the result didn't matter. Well those were school days. I used to think in school, once I'm done with my studies I'm never going to miss these awful days. I’ll work and get paid and enjoy and will be free from writing these boring exams...Boy was I wrong or what? I did finish school and college and did get rid of exams only to learn that there are exams in the office too. It’s called My Annual Appraisal. There’s a similar eerie atmosphere that is created at this time of the year in the office also. This is when you'd fill up your assessments for your appraisal; followed would be your review with your boss and then the final verdict would be out. So if the mail specifies you have one week to fill it up and send it across, you’ll delay filling it to tomorrow. You’ll open the form, read all the questions, scratch your head and then say “O well I’ll do it later (because you realize that you suddenly don’t have anything to write)..It’s not like the deadline is today.” It really amazes me that it’s during this period we come to think of what we did year long, day in and day out, sitting for around 9 hours doing our daily specified jobs and even more; yet we run out of words when it comes to fill our assessment sheets. It’s amazing....See for your self...Answer these questions and you'll know. 1. Describe you current role: A: Hmm I don’t know...I am the Operations Manager and my role is to manage the day to day activities such as data analysis, well I guess generating reports is one of them , analysis and o yes; team management.(what you want to say here is I don’t know what I do because I'm number crunching the whole time when my boss asks me about the current status, the variations of the past month, the real time data, my teams problems are to be handled and I have make sure everyone is on time and manage everyone’s data and keep them motivated by coming up with attractive schemes. I have to even listen to my boss’ non stop chatter and nod a yes to everything he says because that’s what he likes.) 2. Your Notable achievements: A: I've designed a report that helps to track information better( because there wasn’t one earlier), have improved performance by 15% compared to last quarter, curtailed floor attrition by 5% and so on (what you think here is that I've given my boss timely data for his presentation when he was representing our team, I created all the reports and sent it on his behalf, I maintained my team by listening to their jabber and promising them  a better a future, I worked overtime to get projects completed within deadline and even had to run errands for my boss at times when he demanded like dropping his cheque in the bank nearby when I had to visit a client...not to mention I’ve achieved to develop a high BP because of the stress…..hmmm well I cant write that ) 3. Things you want to change: A.(this is an all time patience tester question)I would like the system to be more transparent and would like more training on so on and so forth ( what you want to say is that please stop the non sense and work sensibly....speak directly instead of beating round the bushes, stop the late night meetings because I have to be back home and please train us before you implement a new software or new system so that we can work better and for God's sake implement at least one suggestion given by any employee) You'll see that when it comes to filling up these forms you'd end up lacking words so you come up with neutral ones like my strength is motivation and leadership (obviously, you’re the manager), my aim is to make sure we progress (hello...that’s why the company hired you), My key performance area is analysis (yeah....right...isn’t that something we all have to do). We'd rather be neutral than pen down the obvious because we know that after this eerie day of filling the form is over, our bosses await us at the table and we'd be waiting for the comments. And when that day finally arrives, we again have to put up charade of not knowing what he’ll say when we know exactly what he has in mind....we'll hear the usual..."O, we've been know how nice your work is and there are a few things that you've done that have helped in progressing but you know you can do better and we expected more and then there’s the bell curve ...blah blah blah...." What he wants to say is that "You know, you didn’t give me the report on Saturday when you knew I had a presentation on Monday, you did not attend the party we had on Sunday night and you were not available when I needed you to go to the bank because you weren’t well. But you did give me my daily reports on time and yes you also nodded to 5 of my 7 remarks and you also smiled at few of the jokes I cracked so I guess you get an average rating.....next time when you'll be there at my beck and call and would laugh uncontrollably on all jokes, nod at all 7 remarks and would take care of all my other errands I might think of awarding you an excellent rating." We always run out of words to describe ourselves to earn the ratings while our bosses run out of words to rate us down...It’s funny that the most crucial period of our year is mocked by superiors so easily that it kills the very spirit and purpose of what appraisal means. There’s another thing that brings change in the atmosphere now. Your boss doesn’t smile at you when he walks by, your tea time gossips would now include “what did you write...what did you answer for this question, should I talk to boss about this issue, did Boss talk to you about your ratings?”, the team members work extra cautiously and everyone's ears go ultrasonic when boss discusses anything with anyone within his team. Suddenly everyone is on time at the office and people don’t even get sick too often and if they do, they make sure they are in the office to display the dedication. In my experience I've seen hard work pay off but in due time. Now what’s the definition of due time is also something mystical, I am yet to figure that out...until that gets solved I'll be missing my school days because at work results to our appraisal do matter.      

  This is for all singles out there in our Indian Society looking for their soul mates, believing for Cupid to strike. I'm sure the single working lady and gentleman would agree that the search out is nothing near to easy and thanks to our conservative society the pressure builds on as well once you reach a certain age. Before you know it in your normal routine along with official work pressure to deal with, there are new envelopes coming in the mail with photographs of people you don’t know, or there are calls coming to your parents telling about a suitable match. People living in the romantic bubble pray for romantic partners. The ones that are ambitious dream for the ultimate apprentice. The ones who keep their family first pray for someone with conservative values, the one who chill out pray for a cool soul mate...there are so many demands. O dear, Cupid has a lot of work to do. How could he work when the girls and boys weren’t allowed to meet freely and when their parents would make all the decisions for them. Cupid has his own set of problems multiplied as the industry boom even touches the matrimonial sector. Earlier people did not have matrimonial agencies and demands were way simple where girls were expected to manage a house and guys were meant to provide for the house. Now girls are expected to work and assist the husband financially and the guys are expected to have fat packages with additional perks to the CTC. The working singles when eligible to marry is sought more like a product than a person. There are even specifications attached like any other product or service. Like my daughter is 26 years, Fair, Slim, MBA with 3 years of experience or she is 27 years,  Doctor, fair and average looks. My son is 28 years; he’s fair and is working with an MNC with CTC of 8lakhs.he specifications attached to one’s profile is advertised then by many sources that pitch in their very best to advertise the person. Not to mention that the sources are just like for any other service or product. Except that you are covered by the topic called matrimony. You’ll be given options of press advertising. Before you know it your profile would be appearing in the matrimonial in the paper. Or virtual advertising which means your profile will be put up on some matrimonial site like shaadi .com or jeevansaathi.com. Did you know that there is a 25 % increase in subscrptions on these sites each year...they're really a popular platform now.You also would have the experience direct mails that is when your mom and dad will take you to the studio and get your pictures clicked and the send it with a covering note to all relatives with good social circles to aid the search. And last but not least, the most powerful form of advertising which is Word of mouth. This is the most annoying but what elders consider the effective way to double your chances to find you a suitable match. Just blow the whistle in any kitty party where a group of aunties would come to know about to matrimonial search and see the word spread like fire. Before you know it you’ll be informed from every corner about a boy working for some MNC earning well good for the girl you told about. Or about the girl who has done her masters in HR and is earning well and knows how to cook for the boy you told them about. Even Cupid made use of the so many platforms available so that the girls and boys could now talk on meet. He does face the difficulty to strike the arrow sometimes when the girls and boys talk their nosy relatives come in between or the parents set in a deadline to talk and comeback home. He also has to battle the confusion the digital advertising that the matrimony sites create in the minds of the prospects because of which their decisions get delayed. He also understands that in his line of work a few more people get benefited like the marriage agencies and matrimonial sites who lay heavy subscriptions...but he has a mission to strike and can't complaint. But Cupid isn't worried about the Indian Society, he is thankful for the values embedded in the minds of the youngsters. If he can't strike before, he always has a chance to strike the arrow once a boy and girl are married (that is what they are taught). He is just thankful that our Indian Society still believes in him, unlike the western and modern world where the generation is least bothered about him and likes to experiment with different things that have a messy end .In certain ways I am thankful to the society we live in. Even though we bicker about not having freedom to meet the opposite sex but at least our traditions save us from a lot of evident harm the open society has to offer. A lot of emotional pain and damage comes with the experimenting and hit and trial method. But hey, they say once you get married, you have to be up for the changes that are in store. Being married isn't for everyone there are a lot of responsibilities to take care of, family to manage and so many other strings get attached. So if you wish being free and ambitious and want to live a carefree life, marriage is not a good suggestion because being married isn't easy. They say that being married is not easy...well who said being single is?            

We all love those santa-banta jokes.But do you know that sikhs are one of the most hard-working and prosperous communities of the world.

After reading this real life incident, you might also consider it as true.It has had a deep impact on my thinking.

Last year, my friend invited his cousins on his sister's wedding to Delhi.They traveled all the way from Shimla.On their arrival, all of them decided to hire a taxi for local sight-seeing.The driver was an aged-Sardar and the boys being boys, began cracking sardar ji (santa-banta) jokes just to tease the old man.But, to their surprise, the fellow(sardarji) remained normal.

At the end of sight-seeing, they paid the driver cab hire-charges.The sardarji returned the change, but gave each of them one rupee extra, and said, "Son, since morning you have been cracking jokes on sardars, I listened all of them and let me tell you, most of them were in bad taste.But I still dont mind, because I feel that you are young blood, and are yet to see this world.But, I have one request, I am giving you all one rupee each, give it to the first 'SARDAR BEGGAR' that you see in this or any other city.

That one rupee coin is still with my friend as he could not find a single sardar 'begging' in the city!

 

MORAL

The secret behind their universal success is their willingness to do any job with the utmost dedication and pride.A sardar will drive a truck or setup a roadside garage or a Dhaba, put a fruit juice stall, take up small time carpentry , BUT WILL NEVER BEG ON THE STREETS!

 

Do tell this story to all your friends and make them feel how hardworking sardars are!