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Funny jokes

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Humor & Jokes
Wife says to husband: "I had a dream yesterday night that you gifted me with a diamond ring. Now, what does that mean"?

Husband says: "Am not sure, dear, Will let your know tonight"
Wife waits eagerly for her husband to return. The husband comes and gives her a pocket book- "The Meaning of dreams"!

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There are three kinds of accountants in the world
Those who can count and those who can't.
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What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humor
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What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite an accountant.
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What's a shy and retiring accountant?
An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's/she's retiring.
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What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
Jail.
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Why do accountants make good lovers?
Ther're great with figures!
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Why don't accountants read novels?
Because the only number in them are page nunbers!
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The flight attendant asks a cannibal in First Class: "Would you like to see the menu?"
And the cannibal responds: "No. Can I see the passenger list? Thank you!"
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Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
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A man telephoned an airline office in New Delhi and asked, How long does it take to fly to Australia?
The Clerk said, "Just a minute...." "Thank you!" the man said and hung up.
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Passenger asked a flight attendant, "How high is this plane, Miss?"
The flight attendant replied, "About thirty-two thousand feet."

The passenger's jaw dropped in amazement. "Who'd have belive it? And could you tell me how wide it is?"
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A young and stupid pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies So, when he was approaching a field during the nighttime, instead of making any official request to the tower, he said, "Guess Who?"
The Controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess Where!"
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Why do barbers make good drivers?
Because they know all the short cuts!
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Barber: "Your hair is turning grey, sir."
Customer, irritated by the long delay: " I'm not surprised hurry up, will you?"
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First friend: "My barber is a specialist in road-map shaves."
Second friend: "How come?"
First friend: "When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts!"
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A man tells the barber. "Don't put any sweet stuff on me. My wife'll think I've been to a whore house."
Another customer in a nearby chair says, "You can put as much as you want on me. My wife has never been to a whore house!"
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One barbershop in town put up a sign attacking the fancy salon down the block.
The sign said, "Why pay twenty dollars? We give haircuts for two dollars."
The salon got even by putting up a sign of its own stating, "We repair two-dollar haircuts!"
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I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son.
Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."
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Customer: "How mach for haircut?"
Barber: "20 Rupees."
Cutomer: "How much for a Shave?"
Barber: "Ten rupees."
Cutomer: "Great-shave my head, please!"
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H

hello123

@hello123

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Created Sunday, 16 May 2010 06:45
Last Updated Tuesday, 30 November -0001 00:00
Replies 0
Views 10.3K
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Humor & Jokes

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