My cheeks burn as I sat there, grappling with conflicting emotions. I took a deep breath. “It will keep happening”, I told myself, “So better get used to it”.
I was happy for her. I truly was. This was not about her. It was only about me.
The chatter around me was getting louder… Or was that my imagination? I looked around. Nobody was saying a word. The voices were in my head. I pressed my hands to my ears, but they would not stop. Mocking, jeering voices of a hundred imps that live in my head. They laugh at me because I kept believing. And waiting.
I realized she was saying something to me. About suitcases. About what she would need. I tried to say something, but nothing meaningful would come out. I needed to make sense of the chaos in my mind as my feelings battled it out. “Just a min”, I said and got to the ladies room. I stared at myself in the mirror and opened the tap. First splash. “I’m happy for her. We have been partners in distress for too long.” Second splash.” I’m envious. She escaped. I didn’t.” Third splash. “She’s my friend and she just got a good break. Forget about this and get back there.” I obeyed myself and got back there.
But I could not forget.
My cheeks burned again as we got together to bid her farewell. Eulogies. Leg pulling. Best wishes. Old jokes aired one last time. Forgotten nicknames revived for old times’ sake. Laughter.
“It could have been me”
“It isn’t.”
“It may be me next.”
“There I go again.” The imps in my head were cracking up with laughter.
I went back and checked my mail. Photographs from my old roommate who is now onsite. I clicked on it, but after the first photo, I closed the window. I did not want to bring on another round of might-have-been-me’s.
The tingling was still there as the day ended. Sitting in the bus, I thought of what my friend had written. ‘Good things will happen to good people’. “Maybe that was it. Maybe I am not among the good people.”
These imps were really irritating me.
“My turn will come.” I tell them sternly. Cackle cackle.
“That’s number 18”.
“Number 18 of what?”
“The number of times I’ve said that already.”
I wish the imps would not refer to me in first person.
I wish they weren’t right.
“Well, I’ll do something about it.” I said, trying to hold on to my determination, but sounding unsure, even to myself.
“Like what?”
Why do they always have a point?
“Something”
“Number…”
“Just shut up.”
Cackle cackle.
I took up a book and resolutely ignored them. Not that it stopped them of course.
My mobile rang just as I finally managed to get them to shut up.
“Hi Ma”
“Are you Ok? You don’t sound too good.”
How is it that she always knows from my voice?
“I’m fine. Just a headache and touch of flu.”
“Liar, liar…” went the imps in my head.
“Took any medicine?”
“Hmmm-mm”
“What other news?”
“ Nothing much. Er..mmm… Deepa is going onsite tomorrow.”
“OK.”
Loud pause. I knew what was coming next. Strike one. I should not have mentioned that.
“What is happening with yours?”
“Hmmm…they are saying it will take more time.”
“We should really be thinking of your marriage. If you are not going, we could have it in August or something”
Not again.
“Ma, it will happen…”
“You are not getting any younger, you know”
“Ma, I’m just 24. I have time”
“Most girls your age are married. At your age, I had already had you”
“Ma, PLEASE.”
“Well, think about it. There is no use delaying things if…”
“Ok ok. How’s dad?” I needed a change of topic.
“Worried about you. He was talking about it last night. He says if something happens to us… He wants to see you settled while we are still hale and healthy.”
OK, that was strike two.
“Ma, you both are perfectly fine and there’s nothing to worry about. Hmm…my stop is nearing; I’ll call you later”
Liar, Liar…
“OK. Take care of your health. Eat well”
“Hmmm.”
One of these days, I would strike out.
I needed to talk to someone. I dialed my fiancé.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nauseous with envy”
“Who is it this time?”
“Deepa.”
“When?”
“This weekend.”
“Hmmm…Well…forget it, sweetheart. Don’t let your feelings be affected by things beyond your control.”
That’s easier said than done. I sighed.
Home sweet home. My roommate took one look at my face and asked “Bad day?”
“You have no idea.”
“Dinner?”
“I think I’ll skip. Not hungry.”
Oh, so we’re gonna lie down and think about this, are we? Cackle cackle…Can’t wait…
“On second thoughts…. What are we making?”
“Sambar and Rice”
“Ok. Lemme cut the vegetables.”
She raised one eyebrow.
“I’m in a mood to cut up some people into very small pieces.”
“People?”
“Hmm… I’ll just pretend the carrots and potatoes are among those.”
“Er….Ok...I guess.”
I cracked open two coconuts, and started on the carrots.
“Er…the pieces don’t need to be that finely cut, you know.”
I looked at her. She smiled.
“Fine, ma’am. Let me know once you are finished with all the murders. I need the…er...bodies.”
“Almost done”
Dinner time. I still didn’t have an appetite.
“So, who all are we eating?”
“I think almost half of the management at my office.”
She smiled.
“Did they deserve it?”
“Hmmm…Well, no…But I am in no mood to be fair.”
We both laughed at that.
But it still stung…
*****************
The mail sat in my mailbox and I stared at it. I scanned it once more to be sure of what it said. Nothing. There was nothing in it that warranted a second glance. Except the list of people it had been sent to.
Even a cursory glance told me that all the recipients were in the same situation as I was. Did that mean anything? Probably nothing at all.
But it was a tantalizingly suggestive “nothing”, a million possibilities hidden in the very ordinariness of that mail, in its generality.
My glance kept running to that row in my inbox. I took up the phone and called my friend, another recipient of that mail.
“You
“You saw it?”
“Hmmm.”
“Well?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yeah.”
The silence implied that it was the same for her. A choice—whether to hope and be disappointed again, or ignore it and—But it was impossible to ignore it.
“Well, we’ll know at 3:00”
“Yeah.”
“It’s probably nothing.”
Silence. Then I heard her sigh.
“Yeah, probably.”
“Let’s see.”
“Hmmm”
I looked at it again. It was going to be a long wait.
Not that I was unused to that.
Lunch buzzed with the discussion about the mail. Apparently, my observation of the mailing list was on target. The mail was from a biggie. Lunch was punctuated by debates on why some were in that list and some were not.
I listened. Nausea was flooding me and a vague ache hovered in my head. Apprehension? Or acidity? Or both?
Cackle cackle. "Think it is gonna be different this time? When will I learn?"
The imps were in form again and my head was buzzing.
A pacification. That would be it, I knew. Just another ego-soothener. Too mild for ego wounds that ran deep. Insignificant in the context. “No changes, but this is why.”; “We just wanted to let you know.”; “As soon as possible” “We are definitely looking into it”; “We have strategies in place which will come into effect soon”.
At least they would have made an effort, I told the imps.
Cackle cackle. “The sweet, loyal, employee who wants to fall for it again? Wow, they really have it good with me.”
Why do I put up with this?
Because they may be mean, they may drive me crazy, but they are invariably right. They are just voices in my head, but they are not hypocrites.
H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E-S. I spelt the word out idly. I imagined the letters hanging from the ceiling. I counted them forward and then I counted them backward.
It didn’t make me feel much better, but at least the imps were quiet.
At 4:00 pm, I was staring at the monitor with a triumphantly bitter smile. I’m getting good at this. Predictability is a good thing. I ought to write the scripts for the management. I know exactly what they want to say. And how they would say it.
Then my PM called me.
I felt sorry for him. He was almost as much a victim as I was. I wondered how it would feel if I had to sit there. Knowing what had to be done. And having no choice.
Yes, I did feel sorry for him.
He spoke. I smiled at him. I nodded. Yes , I understood.
The imps stopped buzzing in my head. Instead, there was an eerie quiet. I heard the verdict loud and clear.
All the better to accept it. Move on.
The light weight in my heart must be a trick of my mind. It was quite fine. I could laugh as we walked to the canteen. Yes, the book was quite nice. Film this weekend? Maybe. Hmmm… no, not going home this weekend.
Then something imploded near the center of my chest. For a moment, the world darkened.
Impact. Even when you expect it, it takes some time to hit you that you’ve reached a dead end. The End. No more hope. No more dreams.
The rest of the evening was a dream. Or as hazy as one.
And the next few days. Physical impact? Maybe it was the weather. The heat wave had been horrible. Maybe that would explain the sudden fever and nausea attack that drained all my energy in the next few days.
No, it probably had nothing to do with dying dreams at all.
Czechoslovakia - a term my friends and I use to signify the vagaries of management;
The prehistory of the Indus civilization can be identified through the discoveries of cities of Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro and the evidences of the Mesopotamian civilisation.The Indo-Aryans were supposed to be the first early civlization of the subcontinent. They were regarded to have come down to the Indian plains in the second millennium BC. But the history of the Indian subcontinent attained a new dimension after the discoveries of great cities of Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro in the year 1920s. The great cities of the Indus civilisation proved to be much older, reaching back into the third and fourth millennia. After ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia, this Indus civilisation emerged as the third major early civilisation of mankind.
Both the cities of Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro share a similarity although they were separated by about 350 miles. Archaeological reports say that in both the cities there was an acropolis and a lower city. The acropolis located to the west of each city were used for religious cults. In Mohenjo-Daro there was a ‘Great Bath’ (39 by 23 feet, with a depth of 8 feet) at the centre of the acropolis which may have been used for ritual purposes. This bath was connected to an elaboratwater supply system and sewers. To the east of this bath there was a big building (about 230 by 78 feet) which is thought to have been a palace either of a king or of a high priest.
The Great Bath
A special feature of each of these cities were the large platforms which have been interpreted by the excavators as the foundations of granaries. In Mohenjo-Daro it was situated in the acropolis where as in Harappa it was immediately adjacent to it. The next similarity between the two cities is the system of weights and measures based on binary numbers and the decimal system. Evidence show that there was international trade when seals of the Indus culture were found in Mesopotamia.Further more the artclies made of copper and ornaments with precious stones show that there was a flourishing international trade. It was believed that Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro were merely outposts of the Mesopotamian civilisation, either constructed by migrants or at least designed according to their specifications.
Mohenjo-Daro
The Indus civilisation was thought to be based on a theocratic state whose twin capitals Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro obviously showed the traces of a highly centralised organisation. The reasons for the sudden decline of these cities may br due to the Scholars since scattered skeletons which showed traces of violent death were found in the uppermost strata of Mohenjo-Daro. It appeared that men, women and children had been exterminated by conquerors in a ‘last massacre’. The conquerors were assumed to be the Aryans who invaded India around the middle of the second millennium BC.
Harappa
After the Second World War, intensive archaeological research in Afghanistan, Pakistan and India greatly enhanced our knowledge of the historical evolution and the spatial extension of the Indus civilisation.Earlier assessments of the rise and fall of this civilisation had to be revised. The new excavations showed that this civilisation, at its height early in the late third millennium BC, had encompassed an area larger than western Europe.
The other important cities of the Indus valley civilisation were Kot Diji to the east of Mohenjo-Daro and Amri in the Dadu District on the lower Indus, were discovered in the years after 1958. In Kathiawar and on the coast of Gujarat similar centres were traced. Thus in 1954 Lothal was excavated south of Ahmadabad. It is claimed that Lothal was a major port of this period. Another 100 miles further south Malwan was also identified in 1967 as a site of the Indus civilisation. It is located close to Surat and so far marks, together with Daimabad in the Ahmadnagar District of Maharashtra, the southernmost extension of this culture. The spread of the Indus civilisation to the east was documented by the 1961 excavations at Kalibangan in Rajasthan about 200 miles west of Delhi.
The amazing extension of our knowledge about the spatial spread of the Indus civilisation was accompanied by an equally successful exploration of its history. Earlier strata of Mohenjo-Daro and Harappa as well as of Kalibangan, Amri and Kot Diji were excavated in a second round of archaeological research. In this way continuous sequence of strata, showing the gradual development to the high standard of the full-fledged Indus civilisation, was established. These strata have been named Pre-Harappan, Early Harappan, Mature Harappan and Late Harappan. The most important result of this research is the clear proof of the long-term indigenous evolution of this civilisation which obviously began on the periphery of the Indus valley in the hills of eastern Baluchistan and then extended into the plains. There were certainly connections with Mesopotamia, but the earlier hypothesis that the Indus civilisation was merely an extension of Mesopotamian civilisation had to be rejected.
The Magnetic appeal of Abu Dhabi
In this article, I am going to take you to the wonderful city of Abu Dhabi that is fast gaining a place in the global map as a major tourist attraction and a must see for travelers and travel journalists. Abu Dhabi is the capital of United Arab Emirates .Today the UAE is known for its magnificent towering buildings and incredible hotels. Not many are aware of Abu Dhabi as a fast emerging competitor to Dubai.
It is home to one of the world’s most beautiful architectural splendors-The Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque which looks like a picture straight out of the 1001 Arabian night’s tales. The Grand Mosque was built at a whopping cost of 2.27 billion dirham under the patronage of Sheikh Zayed who is no more today. He is the father of modern UAE and rests today in a mausoleum inside the mosque premises.
The mosque has created many records. It houses the single largest carpet in the world. It has the world’s largest Swarovski crystal chandelier .9, 000 people can pray at a single time. Many expats have made Abu Dhabi their home and live in harmony with people of various multi cultures. This year The Formula 1 Abu Dhabi on 1st November, 2009 is gaining world wide recognition. The newly opened 5 star hotel Yas Marina is another marvel not to be missed by tourists.
It is worthwhile to visit Abu Dhabi when making a trip to the Middle East as it is a melting pot of various cultures and is tolerable to tourists and residents equally.
Where is Cape Breton Island?
Cape Breton Island, is usally a irregularly shaped island. This island is a hilly island and it is present in northeastern Nova Scotia, Canada,which is located between the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of St. Lawrence.
About the Island
The length of the island is 177 km and the width is 140 km. Strait of Canso is the one which separates this Cape Breton Island from the mainland of Nova Scotia and it is divided into two parts by the large Bras d'Or Lake.
The area of this island is 10,311 sq km
History of the Island
In 1497, John Cabot was the first European to discover this island and he is a famous Italian navigator .The French explorer Jacques Cartier in 1534, visited this island,and it was he who named this island asCap Breton,and it is named after a region of France.
A group of Scots in 1629 founded the island's first settlement by the Europeans and after that it was captured by the French. However in 1713,by the Peace of Utrecht, this island was formally assigned to France.
During the early 18th century, at Louisbourg, in the southeast,the French built a large fortress, which is now a part of Louisbourg National Historic Park,so that they could defend the sea route to the St. Lawrence River.
But in 1745, during King George's War,this fortress was seized by British colonial forces, but three years later it was returned to French control.The British managed to destroy the fortress and they also gained possession of the island,during the Seven Years' War,in 1758.
Since 1763 this island was under the administration of Nova Scotia.But for 36 years between 1784 and 1820,it was considered as a separate British colony and it also served as a shelter for American refugees who were loyal to Britain during the American Revolution, which took place between 1775 and 1783.
Tourist Attraction
The reason why many tourists visit Cape Breton Island is due to the rugged landforms and also due to the cool summer climate. Apart from this another reason why many tourists visit here is "the Cabot Trail", because this is a scenic road which provides the tourists with a spectacular view along the northeastern coast.
This road aslo passes through the Cape Breton Highlands National Park.The important thing about this Cape Breton Highlands National Park is that it contains uplands which has maximum altitude of 1,747 feet.
Apart from Tourism the important industries on the island includes
i)coal mining
ii)Steelmaking
iii)Fishing and
iv)Lumbering
Cape Breton Regional Municipality is the region which contains the principal coal mines.The Cape Breton Regional Municipality is very popular as it has the island's main urban center,that also includes some large steel mills.
Other than this town,there are also some other important towns like
i)Port Hawkesbury
ii)Baddeck and
iii)Ingonish
Inhabitants of the Island
When it comes to the inhabitants of this Island most of them are descended from the Highland Scots and they got settled there by the beggining of the 19th century.Apart from these inhabitants some of the French-Canadians and a small number of Mi’kmaq are also live in this island.
The population was around 161,806 in 1991
State Governments in India are on a renaming spree. Cities or prominent towns in Indian States which had English names earlier have been renamed into regional names. According to politicians these cities or towns were not renamed, but in fact reverted to their original names. According to their contention, Britishers had changed names of cities in India to suit their pronunciation for example they have changed Halasuru to Ulsoor so that they can pronounce better. The current State Governments by reverting to Halsuru has undone the damage.
While many places were renamed, the most notable of them are Bombay to Mumbai, Madras to Chennai, Calcutta to Kolkatta, Cochin to Kochi and Bangalore to Bengaluru. Cities like Bangalore and Bombay are international cities are are on par with cities like Sydney, Tokyo and New York. When lot of Indians outside Chennai but living in India, struggle to pronounce "Chennai" how can you expect a foreigner to pronounce chennai. A Bangalore, Bombay or a Madras any day sounds more majestic than its current names.
As Indians why should we feel bad when we own such a majestic name like Bangalore or a Bombay?. If we have discarded everything that was started by Brtishers then it is acceptable. When we do not have any problems in copying smoking which we copied form British, their style of clothing and accept, then why cant we accept a name that sounds well to us and internationally?
Regards
Satish
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Subcategories
Festivals
The category focusses on festivals followed at different places of the world.
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