Shared jokes

ESL teacher: You must never begin a sentence "I is ...".
Clever student: Please sir, what's wrong with "I is a vowel".

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'
I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.

China is sad to see the NASA Space Shuttle program end, because now it will be harder to sell their fake space shuttle copies.

Son- Dad Why doesn't the law permit us to have more than one wife?
Dad- When you get married, you will realize that the law is in our side. My dear son!

Only once in your life you will get a right person with whom you will get married, so till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones......

Q. What is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance?
A. When they're not home!

He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die.....

Santa:- Angrejo ne CHAAND pe PANI aur BARAF ki khoj kar li hai...

Banta:- Humney ab sirf DAARU aur namkeen leke jana hai...

ME Without YOU!!
It's Like
Facebook Without Friends,
Youtube Without Video
movie without Music
And
Google With No Results

4 Stages of marriage:

Mad for each other.
Made for each other.
Mad at each other.
Mad bcoz of each other.

Boy- I sent love letters to my girlfriend everyday for three years.
Friend- Then what happened?
Boy- Nothing. Finally, she married the postman. :laugh:

Bhagwan Ram aur Ravan bada serious Yudh kr rahe they... Tabhi Ravan ne Ram ke piche kisi ko khada hua dekh kar achanak se bola... Ravan - Chal Ok Bye!!! Ram - Par Kyu??? Ravan - Nhi yaar bye!!! Ram - Are par kya hua??? Ravan - Yaar Tune choti si baat par RAJNIKANT ko bula Liya

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Keeping a place for me in your heart is fine, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous because people say... I'm MIND BLOWING.

Husband was throwing knives on wives photo. All were missing the target. He received a call from her- Hi what are you doing? He honestly replies- MISSING YOU.

ramu : sham i want your laptop for somedays
Sham: ok take it
ramu: sham it is very heavy to carry.
sham: it has more data so delete some data .
Ramu: wow sham you are too intelligent.