Shared jokes

Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
A: A blackboard.

These need to be written.
Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig.

Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.

Q: What do elephants have that no other animal has?
A: Baby elephants.

Depending on where you live, students will enjoy this one.
Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?
A: Mississippi.

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing, it just waved!

The First 3 Years of Marriage

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Q: What happens when "you" and "I" are gone?
A: Only 24 letters are left. (you=the letter "u" and I the letter "i".)

Riddles of Alphabet

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?
A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink?
A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water?
A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?
A: The letter " I "

Q: What letter is a vegetable?
A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation?
A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird?
A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ?
A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief?
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
A: The letter "m".

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
A: It can make "her" "hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?
A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise

Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?
A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".

Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?
A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".

Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
A: Alphabet = (26 letters)

Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".

Q: What is the end of everything?
A: The letter "g".

This is a bilingual English/Spanish joke-- especially good for a class of native Spanish speakers. It also illustrates an important gramatical difference between languages (genders of nouns).
An Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip. He hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since the Englishman was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage. They were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path. The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and said, "Mira el mosca!" The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity, replied, "No, senor, 'la mosca'... es feminina."

The Englishman looked at him, then back at the fly, and then said, "Good heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight."

Q: What has many keys but can't open any doors?
A: A piano.

Q: What has 6 eyes but can't see?
A: 3 blind mice.

Q: Who earns money driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.

Q: What is orange and sounds like parrot?
A: A carrot

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump

This is a riddle. It works well if you let the students ask yes and no questions about the situation, before revealing the answer.
Q: A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun, and points it at the customer. "Thank you" replies the customer and walks out. What happened?
A: The customer had hiccups.

I've used this in many countries in Eastern Europe. It always works - a shock as a hiccup cure appears to be an international thing.

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.(No-eye deer)