Hai Friends,
This is sarala. I hope you know me.
I am going to tell you some of my problems which i tried alot to solve them but i couldnot. So I wish if you feel you have any idea to solve them please let me.
My age is 26. And from 4 years my dad is searching a guy to make my marriage. from these 4 years my dad and mom didnt let me to work any where. But i love to do job. I dont like to be dependent on any one in anyway. but for the sake of my parents i forgot about job. I kept that dream to fulfill at least after i married that to if get a good understanding husband. Till i get married also i dont like to be free. So i decided to make money online at least to cover my expenses as i dont like to ask money for anything to my parents.
so i till now one year completed, i tried working online. and i have earned 1000 rupees on seo work. after that no payments from any one. then i one of my friend said about this boddunan site. so recently i started concentrating. when am about to get the amount , now my parents are telling that they wont give money for internet or anything as they feel by working online am loosing health of my eyes. For everything they will only take decisions. from childhood they never given me any freedom. they always threat for something or that other. Due to them i dont know nothing about the society also. even i cant even purchase a chocolate you know. what to do i couldnt understand.
I never be in front of them for more time also. If i be they start discussing about me and they will scold that i didnt got married yet as i have rejected first match which they felt it is best. but marriage is a life matter without having interest in any one we cannot marry so i didnt have any interest in the person who came to my house as first match. So how can i agree. see this match came in 2007 but this 2011 still my parents hurt me and scold me.
So friends how to realise my value in my parents . how to make them know my attitude and my mentality
Slow and Steady Wins the Race.
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some of my friends said that just to have a calm talk and tell them clearly my views. but i didnt all that trials to change my parents. but still they are.
One more thing i want to tell you. For everything they scold and that to in a very rude and slang language. Some time feel like leave them and go away. so that i can escape from their dirty language.
My advice is That the guy who come to marry you tell him clear about your ambition and problems which you are facing if he was likely to your fellings your life will be better for ever.
Hi Sarala, I am sorry that in this time and the world, you are having to face such serious problems! Frankly speaking I am astonished that you are having to face such a miserable life for such a trivial matter as marriage! Yes, I consider it a trivial matter, especially since you are only 26 and its not like you have crossed 30 and still not ready to marry! If you want to work and not marry now, its actually okay. But your parents seem to be unnecessarily strict and conservative, for not letting you have any freedom or letting take decisions for yourself. Sadly, at least 70% of parents in India are like that - the reason why we lagging behind in many fields!
What I suggest is take your mother into confidence, I am guessing your father would be more strict and seeing the nature of their attitude towards you, he won't do any listening! Take your mother into confidence, talk to her about how you feel, if required take help from any one of your close relatives, and make her see your point.
If this does not work, then just simply look for a job and start working, once they see you can earn well, maybe they will relent. Who knows? Money sometimes works in ways we cannot imagine!
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally." - W. C. Fields :)
I got many jobs in hyderabad and even my home town.But my dad didnt give me permission to join them. he said that if he give me permission and send me then all the relatives will think that he couldnt perform my marriage so he sent his daughter to job. he feel that is unpopularity of him.
I am sorry to find you in a bad state. Be bold and try to speak to elders specially our uncle, aunt and well wishers who can really help by making our parents to think otherwise. Regarding your marriage, after good settlement you can think of it. Why don't you try to work from home itself starting little business with some invest from relatives etc(it's a suggestion only please). I think after settling in our business you can get good matches for you. Until then keep faith in yourself and God. God will certainly help you. Take very good care of yourself. All the very best.
dear instead of bearing these vulgar conditions in your mind only you need to open it , you shouldn't care about other views like your relatives what will they say. it happens to most of us feels problems before starting to any act but when once if we reach to the target all of those who in the initial stage try to push us down after it they praise our actions . i think you should move forward and at least take a chance i wish your today and tomorrow will change definitely.
All we understand your problems but life is long and we have to keep faith in ourselves. Instead of showing self-pity you have to free yourself and look at the brighter aspects of life. I always a person's strength lies in his or her mind. I hope and pray that you become strong enough to withstand the challenge of the present to move into a bright future!
Try to talk to your parent daily and share with them all ideas,your thinking that you have. Once they will realize that they are doing something wrong then solution may come. its difficult to do but this is the only way.
You are only one that can convert your parent to your friend.
