This a male dominated society. The fact, that women cannot perform last rites of her parents.

What I feel is, r an later  all things related to this issue, are bound to change

In our community , the entire family goes to the crematorium except the wife and we have some rituals to be done by the priest after which normally the eldest child boy or girl lit the pyre . But most of the time girls being a little more sensitive ask a younger brother or a cousin brother to do so . .I feel that it is more to do with conditioning which takes place in our homes and society and girls are naturally hesitant to do it.

About the issue of whether women can perm the lat rites of the parents, I am of the opinion, women should rebel. Like Triple Talaq, how women rose against this Draconian Law.

Akin to this, performing the last rites sywomen should rebel.

usha manohar wrote:

In our community , the entire family goes to the crematorium except the wife and we have some rituals to be done by the priest after which normally the eldest child boy or girl lit the pyre . But most of the time girls being a little more sensitive ask a younger brother or a cousin brother to do so . .I feel that it is more to do with conditioning which takes place in our homes and society and girls are naturally hesitant to do it.

I agree with Usha. 

Also I believe this is an issue of emotions and feelings. Let individual family decide what they want whether boy or girl...that too when different sections of society have different traditions.

In a simple way, I would like to say,a woman should notbecome the victim of male Chauvinism.

Sonch wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

In our community , the entire family goes to the crematorium except the wife and we have some rituals to be done by the priest after which normally the eldest child boy or girl lit the pyre . But most of the time girls being a little more sensitive ask a younger brother or a cousin brother to do so . .I feel that it is more to do with conditioning which takes place in our homes and society and girls are naturally hesitant to do it.

I agree with Usha. 

Also I believe this is an issue of emotions and feelings. Let individual family decide what they want whether boy or girl...that too when different sections of society have different traditions.

While I am all for the suggestion made by Shampa , the change that is happening may take place in small measures. However, there should be no restrictions placed by the society  depending on the gender , it shd be left to the individual to take any decision.

In my family there is no restriction. Still, my brothers lit the pyre of my parents and we sisters did not do so but we took part in rest of the rituals. It's okay to choose accordingly but I cannot support the system where there is no son and matured daughters request their cousin brother to lit the pyre. Why? For the deceased person, it was the daughters who were the most important relation and a third person lit the pyre is unacceptable to me. A young child ,boy or girl, must not be allowed to lit a pyre because it's a pathetic scene which may impact their future but adult daughters need to grow up and face the reality. If we believe in gender equality then we have to be mentally tough. A daughter should not demean herself for being a daughter and ask any cousin to lit which signifies that she is not worth enough to lit the pyre of her parents for whom she was the entire world.         

Very recently in a place that is quite faraway from Vizag , the eldest daughter lit the pyre,  of her father. Though there are sons, they were in Foreign Countries.

This example shows, it is a question of convenence. The rule that, A woman should not perform last rites, is mere bogus and these rules were made by male Chauvanism.

I have attended a few funerals in which the cremation was performed by daughter and no one had any objection or contrary views. Times are changing. In some communities faster than others.

Exactly. There is nothing wrong if a woman performs the last rites.