Dowry, a blotch on the face of the Society.

Why girls' parents pay dowry and boys' parents accept this. This is because boys have greater demand and girls less. This is paradoxical.. even suppose that demand is same, girls' supply is more. Is this also paradoxical.
Then read comment by an eminent author George Bernard Shaw- a man should avoid marriage as long as he can. A woman should marry as soon as she can". This is more true in India. The boys' parents are in no hurry. So, supply is reduced. Girls' parents' are in a hurry. so supply is more. consequently, boys' parent get premium on their boys and get more dowry.

The Indian marriage market is more lucrative and interesting than share market. should there not be a futures market for brides and grooms and a 'Marriage partners exchange' established on line of share market and commodities futures market?

Dowry system is a wretched system that is a blot on our country. Thousands of women have been burnt alive and murdered in the name of dowry. It is an irony that dowry system is still continuing today in the internet age. Something should be done to stop this for good.

Dowry system is a wretched system that is a blot on our country. Thousands of women have been burnt alive and murdered in the name of dowry. It is an irony that dowry system is still continuing today in the internet age. Something should be done to stop this for good.

Actually, i get irritated whenever i hear the word 'Dowry'. I do not know the real reason behind this. I have to find out.

Even i am totally against dowry. in North India marriage is said to be incomplete without dowry. because they dont take dowry directly but in face of 'tradition'. it is a tradition to gift gold jewelry and heavy silk sarees to the relatives of boy. and there are a lot number of other similar 'traditions'. but thats totally wrong its happening everywhere but you cant do anything. if you try to interfere you will be told to "mind your own business", because it was 'their' money . this happened when i tried to speak against it once. since then i have never tried :pinch: :pinch:

Both men and women are educated. They have the capability to understand and make others understand. If they want money, they should work and earn. Tendency to get everything by doing nothing is bad.
Gifts are something which a person gives to the other person with good wishes and joy. If such gifts are given during marriage, it becomes dowry. Both men and women receive dowry during marriage. Nobody should force each other's family regarding such affairs. That's illegal.
Presently dowry given to any government job holder is also illegal. He cannot take even a Re 1 coin from his in-laws. He will be jailed. Though many people ignore. They love money more than relationships.

Friends in order to avoid jail, in-laws have different ways of imposing dowry from the bride's family. They will give the list and budget of the whole marriage expenditure. They want expensive banquit hall to be booked at a particular place. Bride's jewellery, saree and sandel must have a particular range. Luch and dinner must be cooked by the XYZ hotel chefs, etc. Bride's family should decide the honeymoon package. Groom's business is at stag. His father-in-law will finance the business, etc......etc...

Both men and women are educated. They have the capability to understand and make others understand. If they want money, they should work and earn. Tendency to get everything by doing nothing is bad.
Gifts are something which a person gives to the other person with good wishes and joy. If such gifts are given during marriage, it becomes dowry. Both men and women receive dowry during marriage. Nobody should force each other's family regarding such affairs. That's illegal.
Presently dowry given to any government job holder is also illegal. He cannot take even a Re 1 coin from his in-laws. He will be jailed. Though many people ignore. They love money more than relationships.

Is there any such law which particularly forbid government job holders from taking dowry? Actually, I am not aware of it. I thought the law is only applicable if the woman is tortured for not bringing dowry.

But yes, if dowry is banned for all then many evil social practices like child marriage, gender discrimination, female infanticides etc will automatically disappear which seems to be so much prevalent in many parts of north India. Luckily,we do not face the dowry related problems in our place.

Still giving and taking dowry is treated as a status symbol in the Indian society.
What’s your take on this?


{CJATTACHMENT ["id": 9121]}

Of course this is still being practiced in almost all communities and I have known many parents going bankrupt after performing a daughters marriage in a luxurious manner. Very recently we had attended a wedding here in Mangalore that was very lavish and the brides parents wanted it to be so because Aishwariya Rai would be there since she was the cousin of the girl getting married...Now the parents of the bride are totally wiped out having taken huge loans ..

Let us remember that we are discussing here a very complex social phenomenon. Earlier there was a school of thought which rather linearly and naively believed that spread of education would wipe this disgrace off the face of India but it has been proved to be wrong. Dowry cases are more amongst the elite class who have enough financial and intellectual muscles to circumvent all laws of the land to perpetuate this barbaric practice.

Both men and women are educated. They have the capability to understand and make others understand. If they want money, they should work and earn. Tendency to get everything by doing nothing is bad.
Gifts are something which a person gives to the other person with good wishes and joy. If such gifts are given during marriage, it becomes dowry. Both men and women receive dowry during marriage. Nobody should force each other's family regarding such affairs. That's illegal.
Presently dowry given to any government job holder is also illegal. He cannot take even a Re 1 coin from his in-laws. He will be jailed. Though many people ignore. They love money more than relationships.

Is there any such law which particularly forbid government job holders from taking dowry? Actually, I am not aware of it. I thought the law is only applicable if the woman is tortured for not bringing dowry.

But yes, if dowry is banned for all then many evil social practices like child marriage, gender discrimination, female infanticides etc will automatically disappear which seems to be so much prevalent in many parts of north India. Luckily,we do not face the dowry related problems in our place.

Money is often given as gift, not dowry ;) :cheer: :cheer: :laugh:

Let us remember that we are discussing here a very complex social phenomenon. Earlier there was a school of thought which rather linearly and naively believed that spread of education would wipe this disgrace off the face of India but it has been proved to be wrong. Dowry cases are more amongst the elite class who have enough financial and intellectual muscles to circumvent all laws of the land to perpetuate this barbaric practice.

I totally agree with those views, in fact in some communities they even have a price tag on 'boys' depending on their qualifications...and this is something that has spread even to those communities which earlier refrained from doing so...

Let us remember that we are discussing here a very complex social phenomenon. Earlier there was a school of thought which rather linearly and naively believed that spread of education would wipe this disgrace off the face of India but it has been proved to be wrong. Dowry cases are more amongst the elite class who have enough financial and intellectual muscles to circumvent all laws of the land to perpetuate this barbaric practice.

I totally agree with those views, in fact in some communities they even have a price tag on 'boys' depending on their qualifications...and this is something that has spread even to those communities which earlier refrained from doing so...

Shockingly, I know of a few cases personally where I find some would-be brides are quite happy about it and mind you- they have higher degrees! That's why it has proved to be such an intractable problem til date!

Both men and women are educated. They have the capability to understand and make others understand. If they want money, they should work and earn. Tendency to get everything by doing nothing is bad.
Gifts are something which a person gives to the other person with good wishes and joy. If such gifts are given during marriage, it becomes dowry. Both men and women receive dowry during marriage. Nobody should force each other's family regarding such affairs. That's illegal.
Presently dowry given to any government job holder is also illegal. He cannot take even a Re 1 coin from his in-laws. He will be jailed. Though many people ignore. They love money more than relationships.

Is there any such law which particularly forbid government job holders from taking dowry? Actually, I am not aware of it. I thought the law is only applicable if the woman is tortured for not bringing dowry.

But yes, if dowry is banned for all then many evil social practices like child marriage, gender discrimination, female infanticides etc will automatically disappear which seems to be so much prevalent in many parts of north India. Luckily,we do not face the dowry related problems in our place.

Money is often given as gift, not dowry ;) :cheer: :cheer: :laugh:

The reason why we do not face dowry related problems is because in our society love marriage is more common than arrange marriage.We don't have the system of giving money or things as gifts to the groom's family except for the traditional cloth given to the elders of the family.

Devu, what you said is right. But both girl and boy may not like dowry but parents won't be silent.

Both men and women are educated. They have the capability to understand and make others understand. If they want money, they should work and earn. Tendency to get everything by doing nothing is bad.
Gifts are something which a person gives to the other person with good wishes and joy. If such gifts are given during marriage, it becomes dowry. Both men and women receive dowry during marriage. Nobody should force each other's family regarding such affairs. That's illegal.
Presently dowry given to any government job holder is also illegal. He cannot take even a Re 1 coin from his in-laws. He will be jailed. Though many people ignore. They love money more than relationships.

Is there any such law which particularly forbid government job holders from taking dowry? Actually, I am not aware of it. I thought the law is only applicable if the woman is tortured for not bringing dowry.

But yes, if dowry is banned for all then many evil social practices like child marriage, gender discrimination, female infanticides etc will automatically disappear which seems to be so much prevalent in many parts of north India. Luckily,we do not face the dowry related problems in our place.

Money is often given as gift, not dowry ;) :cheer: :cheer: :laugh:

The reason why we do not face dowry related problems is because in our society love marriage is more common than arrange marriage.We don't have the system of giving money or things as gifts to the groom's family except for the traditional cloth given to the elders of the family.

thats the reason even i prefer love marriage over arrange marriage. that saves a lot of money of both the families and it can be utilized somewhere else

Let us remember that we are discussing here a very complex social phenomenon. Earlier there was a school of thought which rather linearly and naively believed that spread of education would wipe this disgrace off the face of India but it has been proved to be wrong. Dowry cases are more amongst the elite class who have enough financial and intellectual muscles to circumvent all laws of the land to perpetuate this barbaric practice.

I totally agree with those views, in fact in some communities they even have a price tag on 'boys' depending on their qualifications...and this is something that has spread even to those communities which earlier refrained from doing so...

Shockingly, I know of a few cases personally where I find some would-be brides are quite happy about it and mind you- they have higher degrees! That's why it has proved to be such an intractable problem til date!

I think it is mental conditioning, they tend to think that they have paid the right price and have not been deceived in their choice , very much like buying a branded item from a top range boutique lol.. :cheer:

Both men and women are educated. They have the capability to understand and make others understand. If they want money, they should work and earn. Tendency to get everything by doing nothing is bad.
Gifts are something which a person gives to the other person with good wishes and joy. If such gifts are given during marriage, it becomes dowry. Both men and women receive dowry during marriage. Nobody should force each other's family regarding such affairs. That's illegal.
Presently dowry given to any government job holder is also illegal. He cannot take even a Re 1 coin from his in-laws. He will be jailed. Though many people ignore. They love money more than relationships.

Is there any such law which particularly forbid government job holders from taking dowry? Actually, I am not aware of it. I thought the law is only applicable if the woman is tortured for not bringing dowry.

But yes, if dowry is banned for all then many evil social practices like child marriage, gender discrimination, female infanticides etc will automatically disappear which seems to be so much prevalent in many parts of north India. Luckily,we do not face the dowry related problems in our place.

Money is often given as gift, not dowry ;) :cheer: :cheer: :laugh:

The reason why we do not face dowry related problems is because in our society love marriage is more common than arrange marriage.We don't have the system of giving money or things as gifts to the groom's family except for the traditional cloth given to the elders of the family.

thats the reason even i prefer love marriage over arrange marriage. that saves a lot of money of both the families and it can be utilized somewhere else

Even love marriages if undergone under parents supervision will be lavishing and girls parents have to spend the amount that groom parents decide.

Both men and women are educated. They have the capability to understand and make others understand. If they want money, they should work and earn. Tendency to get everything by doing nothing is bad.
Gifts are something which a person gives to the other person with good wishes and joy. If such gifts are given during marriage, it becomes dowry. Both men and women receive dowry during marriage. Nobody should force each other's family regarding such affairs. That's illegal.
Presently dowry given to any government job holder is also illegal. He cannot take even a Re 1 coin from his in-laws. He will be jailed. Though many people ignore. They love money more than relationships.

Is there any such law which particularly forbid government job holders from taking dowry? Actually, I am not aware of it. I thought the law is only applicable if the woman is tortured for not bringing dowry.

But yes, if dowry is banned for all then many evil social practices like child marriage, gender discrimination, female infanticides etc will automatically disappear which seems to be so much prevalent in many parts of north India. Luckily,we do not face the dowry related problems in our place.

Money is often given as gift, not dowry ;) :cheer: :cheer: :laugh:

The reason why we do not face dowry related problems is because in our society love marriage is more common than arrange marriage.We don't have the system of giving money or things as gifts to the groom's family except for the traditional cloth given to the elders of the family.

thats the reason even i prefer love marriage over arrange marriage. that saves a lot of money of both the families and it can be utilized somewhere else

Even love marriages if undergone under parents supervision will be lavishing and girls parents have to spend the amount that groom parents decide.

Exactly ! there is bound to be a tug of war when parents come into the picture and then love takes a back seat and parents and family pressures take over and many boys bow down to that...

In India, all religious and social customs are commercialized. Marriage is also a commercial affair. This is largely because of the system of arranged marriage. Arrangement by parents, relatives and others degenerates marriage to a commercial activity in which the bride and groom are like share scrips which are auctioned

And in my state Parents invest large sums of money to spend on Medical and engineering seats for their sons with the hope that they will fetch 10 times more in the form of Dowry.l

Let us remember that we are discussing here a very complex social phenomenon. Earlier there was a school of thought which rather linearly and naively believed that spread of education would wipe this disgrace off the face of India but it has been proved to be wrong. Dowry cases are more amongst the elite class who have enough financial and intellectual muscles to circumvent all laws of the land to perpetuate this barbaric practice.

I totally agree with those views, in fact in some communities they even have a price tag on 'boys' depending on their qualifications...and this is something that has spread even to those communities which earlier refrained from doing so...

Shockingly, I know of a few cases personally where I find some would-be brides are quite happy about it and mind you- they have higher degrees! That's why it has proved to be such an intractable problem til date!

I think it is mental conditioning, they tend to think that they have paid the right price and have not been deceived in their choice , very much like buying a branded item from a top range boutique lol.. :cheer:

That's true! Lately, it has been all about branding and pricing, especially among the elite class and the newly grown rich class, thanks to the IT and BPO boom. Amongst them, it is all about designer stuff so right tag on the right groom is all taken as a matter of class consciousness and therefore cases of dowry are rising even more among the educated.