Parenting is a full time job

Parenting has become a big issue today most people do not know how to handle the situation smoothly and how to handle their school-going children properly and that becomes a bigger problem when both the parents are working. That only adds to problems when the child finds himself with no one to sort out his problems regarding school and homework. While you are most important in the list of a child, his teachers coming at second and friends at third therefore you must be there when he needs you most. Parents and teacher are fully responsible in overall upbringing of a child and any thing missing from any of these parts’ may make the situation complex. The responsibility of parents does not end at the point when their child goes to school or attends tuitions because that is only a medium of improvement but you are the one finally responsible.

A child faces more problems when he is new

Mostly the children who reach to comparatively middle schools for the first time face these problems more seriously because the work load suddenly increases and the new atmosphere not adapted properly yet makes them feel stranger. They see loads of books all around and every one busy in studies. A breakfast finished in a hurry and then on to his school bus. He finds him in such a big mess of books and studies that for a first timer no one seems to have time for him. He wants to talk to his teachers regarding his problems but they have no time for him in particular and the responses he gets are more of formal type not giving him satisfaction. He comes back home to face a load of homework or hobby classes. All studies and no games or entertainment make him so uninterested that he begins to dislike all the process. He finds himself in such a situation where every one is after him with books and tons of work load. Here he needs you to come for his rescue and if you too were too busy with your own work the chances are that, the things would only get worse.  

Side effects and negative feelings

There is so much working in a child’s mind due to his hectic life style that he is almost unable to reach to a decision about how to tackle them with out proper help or guidance of parents. He feels dejected and cannot stand smallest of provocation due to inferiority complex. He has so much to do with so little time available at his disposal that turns him off and dejected. The stress so generated makes him nervous and nothing works right for him. At that particular point, you can come to his rescue and make things normal for him to tackle the situation and bring normalcy back to his behavior. He needs some one to pacify him and he does not find any one other than his parents to solve his problems in his hour of need.     

Your child and home work

Most schools trying to finish their course completed within stipulated time frame find the easiest way out by giving lot of homework to their students. That causes extra burden on children as well their parents because that makes them busy helping their children finishing their work. Some parents do not like it a bit and even make it a point to put in the parents-teachers meet without thinking its positive side. You must think that this is for the welfare of your child and not to make him over busy or making the task of schools easier. Make homework a regular feature of your child’s routine and find some time for him so that he does not find it an unwanted task forced on him. 

Make sure that you do not say a word against your child’s teacher in his presence because that would make a bad effect on your child that may feel him bad and lessen the respect of his teacher. Although most experts think that, there should be no need of task given for home or the syllabus need to be completed that way because it takes parental involvement and the fact that not all parents can handle it. The teachers who are trained for the purpose are best suited for their job and they should do it in school hours because assigning these tasks for homes makes children extra burdened with no time for their own needs

Private tuitions make things worse as far time is concerned

I for one do not think that our children would ever get rid of tuitions because most parents see the advantage of the same helping their children for competitions purpose. However, the point here is not to discuss good or bad faces of tuitions but the pressure these create on young children. Children do not find enough time for themselves because some of them go to attend three or four different tuition classes when they come back from school, which leaves them no time for homework or other activities. This in fact is an important point, which needs our immediate attention because our children find them over burdened due to this unnecessary practice.  

Your child needs your help to finish his homework

Children are like flowers that look beautiful while smiling and laughing but homework is certainly an unwanted stress for most children that disturbs them, the mere thought of homework may take their smiles away from them because homework is like extra burden on them. Their lives become too busy with school, tuitions and then this homework, which they find a real killjoy. The homework for them is a punishment that takes the time for games or TV viewing from them therefore this is your duty to help them finish their homework or at least help them as much as possible.

Some children know the value of homework and do it willingly but they too find it difficult to cope with all of it. If you make it a point to come to their rescue in case they find it tough that would solve some of their problems. You can always help him to solve his problems where you think he needs your help and cannot finish it on his own. You can help him make some points for him to work on to make his task easier. Never for a moment think that your child can do every thing on his own and still obtain good marks in his tests. Never force him to do more than he can and never compare any one else with him because that would certainly be the reason of inferiority complex in him.

Children should know the importance of homework

There are some suggestions you can pass on to your children if you think that they are not careful enough while in their schools. Despite the best
efforts of their teachers, some children do not take their homework assignments seriously. You only have to tell them that homework is part of their studies and they must finish it on time to stay with the best students who always get best marks. Your children should realize the importance of homework and exact way of completing it if they know the better management of time.  

Teachers should know the difference

That is right, every student of a class is not equally talented, some are better than others are therefore teachers must see to it that every children needs to be treated according to his intelligence level while allotting homework to them. Somme teachers do not take writing speed of students into consideration and while giving them homework writing it on blackboard clean it before every one has finished copying it. That becomes another problem for some students. Therefore teachers should know about the skills of their students and the ones who are slower in writing should get more writing work while the one who finds it hard to memorize should get more work for that. That would improve them overall and would make their job easy however you, as a parent would be needed to help in any case. 

Children make it point to bunk school

Some children who do not complete their homework make it a point to find excuses to bunk school fearing the punishment or more than that imagining their classmates making their fun for that punishment. The worst you can expect when they bunk school and end up in a picture hall or a park to avoid punishment. There are many cases where students ran away from their homes because they were too scared of homework not completed and expecting punishment and insult in school. Parents and teachers should know it and find out a way to understand the importance of understanding their students or personal level. Parents should also know the limitations of their child and should help them as much as possible to see to it that their child does not leg behind in this department.

The problems are different for different children

You should know the mental capacity of your child to help solve their problems. Children generally do not belong to same category of intelligence level and need help of their parents or a tutor in case parents are not available or may not be good to teach every subject with required proficiency. However the responsibility of parents does not cease once they have appointed a teacher. You should keep a close watch if you have appointed a teacher because you have no time to do the job yourself-

A- you must check his homework and make it a point to listen to your child about his problems also you must watch his work strictly to make sure that he has completed his allotted work

B- You should be friendly while checking and listening to his problems because too strict behavior may lead him to hide his problems from you

C- Never reprimand him before listening his problems and even if you find him at wrong end try to make him understand with love and care, that would help him a lot

D- Always make yourself available for his cause, also ask him about his school activities to keep yourself well aware about his progress and problems

E- Try to meet some of his friends by visiting them with your child that would keep you informed about your child’s activities

F- Never miss a parents meeting because that is one of the best ways to keep you posted

G- Try to give your child company and make him aware about your family traditions, that would make him try to do better

Reasons may vary

There are different reasons for different problems because circumstances are not same in every case. Some people find it  hard due to their education status as they know the value of education but are not educated enough to teach their children or do not much about a particular subject, for instance mathematics is one such subject. Some others have no time for their children because they are working couple. Moreover, the system of nuclear families has harmed the cause most as children used to finish their homework in company of their cousins and grand parents without making it a big issue. Now children have no time for their own hobbies, as they are too busy to go out and play. They are not allowed to watch TV because their homework is not yet completed. This makes two-way effect on a child’s mental state, he feels as if he is not a normal child who is allowed to play or overburdened that makes him uninterested for school or homework in particular. I would like to point it especially that the need to make him aware of importance of education and homework should be taught to him properly and not forcefully. You should make sure that-

1- He should have a proper place where he finds himself comfortable while studying because if you are watching TV while guiding him for his homework and expecting him to concentrate on hi studies this is neither possible nor fair, he would not concentrate properly on his studies. Just think of it that while you are trying to help him you should be as concerned as much you think your child should be. The best way to is that you should sit in a proper study room while trying to help him for his homework.

2- You must consider that he needs rest before he begins his homework and more so if he is attending tutu ion classes or other hobby classes. Parents should know that a child is not a robot who can do it without having some time for games and rest although he is too tight scheduled and with lots of activities. You should not insist that he must finish his homework first thing when he comes back from school and then only allowed for other activities. That is too much for a child and his abilities. I think the children should have some time for their rest and games before going for coaching classes and finish their homework just before or after dinner, this should keep them fresh and also you shall find some time to help him in that particular period.

3- You should always keep in mind that competing homework is job of your child and not yours because some parents finding a headache for their children and for themselves as well do it themselves thinking that this would save their children from punishment. This is not proper way to help your child because that will deprive him from proper practice, which is must for developing his skills. Parents also do it when they find that their child is too tired or not interested in homework but that would only make your child habitual of wrong habits. He would try to find excuses to avoid finishing his homework so never commit this mistake and never solve questions for him but you should only help him do it.

4- Never sit watching movies or playing cards, while your child is busy finishing his homework and you are besides him because he looks into you
his role model. You either should help him or should do your own work even a book can send a message across that every one needs to work even if one is grownup that would prompt him to his job more seriously. 

5- Most parents are overloading their children with too many activities to make them perfect in every field of life like hobby classes but making them too busy and with lesser opportunities to do them regular jobs. Homework is one of the important tasks for children that is not taken into list of priorities hence your child gets very little time to finish his work in time and finds himself confused therefore do not involve him in too many activities all at a time.

6- Keep in touch with his teachers to know about his progress on regular basis. Most parents go to their children’s schools during parents-teacher meets that is perfectly all right as long as your child is doing fine and you are satisfied with his progress but you should make it a point to meet teachers at every level to know problems of your child and try to rectify them at your own level. Teachers know better about your child especially the subject teachers who know the basic problems about every student of their class. Teachers can also help you know the proper way to train your child in a proper way suitable for your child.

7- Try to understand problems your child faces while studying particular subjects because the ability of grasping of different children are different. Some children can understand a subject comparatively easily while others would not get it even if told five times and the worst that can happen is that your child would not ask about it from his teacher thinking that his classmates would laugh at him. However, that would only worsen matters for him so a solution shall have to be found out. Most schools are going for extra classes for particular students for particular subjects like science and mathematics because most children find these subjects tougher. Let your child join such classes ahead of hobby classes because you can keep them for summer vacations.

8- You should never avoid your child even if you are too busy or tired especially while he needs you in his hour of problem. You should not overlook him because you are not in mood or too tired to listen to him. That can ask for real trouble for your child’s development if he feels that you are not available to solve his problems when he needs you most. Do not let them reach to conclusion that you are not reliable and trust me that can go a long way, he would not look at you as some one who would help him ever. In place of refusing him straight away, you should reassure him and tell him that you understand his problems regarding his homework and would try to solve it as and when you can spare time. That would do him world of good and boost up his moral.

Tuitions are not mandatory

 I understand that going for tuitions is no more considered for weaker students only but to keep in competition or at the top of the table but that should be at higher level of studies and not for smaller kids who are already over burdened. The small children need not to go to so many different tuition classes because they only go there for the satisfaction of parents. Parents can do that much for their children if they can only afford to spare some time to take care of such small matters. This would save them money and children would feel more attached and close to their parents.

Save your children from different problems providing them your care and affection by solving their studies related difficulties, which is part of your responsibilities. If you only involve with them on a level where they need you and your care then you would see an immediate change in their attitude and increased interest for studies. 

We should consider the basic fact that tuitions are not needed in the first place but all the basic education of a child should complete in classroom itself where the teachers should complete the syllabus. That would enable children to learn and improve their skills at par with other children because all of them would get the equal opportunities to develop their skills on level terms.  

Finally

Your child is your responsibility therefore; you should see to it that he completes his work to stay him at par with other students of his class. Your child who works hard right from morning until he goes to bad may not find it satisfactory if you do not support him with your total dedication. He may feel dejected and stressed if his homework is not finished timely. You should see to it that he does not become the centre of attraction in his class for wrong reasons. I am sure this should not be too difficult a task for educated parents to help their children to teach them or at least help them to learn and face the present system of education that demands too much from young children. 

Photo source - wikipedia