Funnily enough I have never felt a lack of respect from the younger generation , only the interaction level has changed. My own children are not what I am to my mother because we were brought up with different values at a different period of time. when we all accept that change is the only permanent thing in life, we also have to accept that the younger generations are different to us, they are smarter and are more direct in their ways. In the olden days drinking liquor and smoking in front of your elders was considered disrespectful...not any more ! In fact I would be happier if it is done so, without any fear because we can always talk about it openly, may be even drive some sense into the youngsters as and when needed , IF they are willing to listen , that is ! LOL..

usha manohar wrote:

Funnily enough I have never felt a lack of respect from the younger generation , only the interaction level has changed. My own children are not what I am to my mother because we were brought up with different values at a different period of time. when we all accept that change is the only permanent thing in life, we also have to accept that the younger generations are different to us, they are smarter and are more direct in their ways. In the olden days drinking liquor and smoking in front of your elders was considered disrespectful...not any more ! In fact I would be happier if it is done so, without any fear because we can always talk about it openly, may be even drive some sense into the youngsters as and when needed , IF they are willing to listen , that is ! LOL..

I work with underprivileged teens  have been doing so for years. I have never felt the lack of respect  with the way I handle them.  But this may not be the universal truth. 

Would you be happy honestly if your children took to drinking in front of you.. I mean on a regular basis. Or engaged in antisocial activities?

Yes change is the only permanent thing in life.  But change for the good, parents need to be involved in the change  of their children, we cannot absolve ourselves saying changes happen. 

Instill in them the values for life so that even in a changing world they adapt with their values intact. 

Sofs wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Funnily enough I have never felt a lack of respect from the younger generation , only the interaction level has changed. My own children are not what I am to my mother because we were brought up with different values at a different period of time. when we all accept that change is the only permanent thing in life, we also have to accept that the younger generations are different to us, they are smarter and are more direct in their ways. In the olden days drinking liquor and smoking in front of your elders was considered disrespectful...not any more ! In fact I would be happier if it is done so, without any fear because we can always talk about it openly, may be even drive some sense into the youngsters as and when needed , IF they are willing to listen , that is ! LOL..

I work with underprivileged teens  have been doing so for years. I have never felt the lack of respect  with the way I handle them.  But this may not be the universal truth. 

Would you be happy honestly if your children took to drinking in front of you.. I mean on a regular basis. Or engaged in antisocial activities?

Yes change is the only permanent thing in life.  But change for the good, parents need to be involved in the change  of their children, we cannot absolve ourselves saying changes happen. 

Instill in them the values for life so that even in a changing world they adapt with their values intact. 

Occasionally  on special occasions all our family members enjoy a drink. My children and my wife know the significance of such celebrations. They are very limited. My children never indulged in anti social activities nor going to indulge in future.

I or my wife never lectured before them about DOs and DONTs of discipline They learned right from their formative years from me.

rambabu wrote:

I work with underprivileged teens  have been doing so for years. I have never felt the lack of respect  with the way I handle them.  But this may not be the universal truth. 

Would you be happy honestly if your children took to drinking in front of you.. I mean on a regular basis. Or engaged in antisocial activities?

Yes change is the only permanent thing in life.  But change for the good, parents need to be involved in the change  of their children, we cannot absolve ourselves saying changes happen. 

Instill in them the values for life so that even in a changing world they adapt with their values intact. 

Occasionally  on special occasions all our family members enjoy a drink. My children and my wife know the significance of such celebrations. They are very limited. My children never indulged in anti social activities nor going to indulge in future.

I or my wife never lectured before them about DOs and DONTs of discipline They learned right from their formative years from me.

 

I never mentioned anything about lecturing.. Instill means teach them values from their young age. 

I was asking Usha a question if she would be happy to see her children drinking on a regular basis ( because she used the example) or get into antisocial activities .. because they are value based too.

I was talking about the needs to change and adapt with our values intact. 

Either  we don't understand each other or don't want to. I am  not getting this at all. 

 

Sofs wrote:

rambabu wrote:

I work with underprivileged teens  have been doing so for years. I have never felt the lack of respect  with the way I handle them.  But this may not be the universal truth. 

Would you be happy honestly if your children took to drinking in front of you.. I mean on a regular basis. Or engaged in antisocial activities?

Yes change is the only permanent thing in life.  But change for the good, parents need to be involved in the change  of their children, we cannot absolve ourselves saying changes happen. 

Instill in them the values for life so that even in a changing world they adapt with their values intact. 

Occasionally  on special occasions all our family members enjoy a drink. My children and my wife know the significance of such celebrations. They are very limited. My children never indulged in anti social activities nor going to indulge in future.

I or my wife never lectured before them about DOs and DONTs of discipline They learned right from their formative years from me.

 

I never mentioned anything about lecturing.. Instill means teach them values from their young age. 

I was asking Usha a question if she would be happy to see her children drinking on a regular basis ( because she used the example) or get into antisocial activities .. because they are value based too.

I was talking about the needs to change and adapt with our values intact. 

Either  we don't understand each other or don't want to. I am  not getting this at all. 

All you asked Usha are answered in a vivid way. When I said about drinking together occasionally is not about values in a tradition bound country ;like India ?

 When I said my children do not indulge in anti social activities, What are they, if not Values ?

 

 

 

This honestly doesn't make sense to me at all. I prefer not to respond. 

OK. no problems.

Sofs wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Funnily enough I have never felt a lack of respect from the younger generation , only the interaction level has changed. My own children are not what I am to my mother because we were brought up with different values at a different period of time. when we all accept that change is the only permanent thing in life, we also have to accept that the younger generations are different to us, they are smarter and are more direct in their ways. In the olden days drinking liquor and smoking in front of your elders was considered disrespectful...not any more ! In fact I would be happier if it is done so, without any fear because we can always talk about it openly, may be even drive some sense into the youngsters as and when needed , IF they are willing to listen , that is ! LOL..

I work with underprivileged teens  have been doing so for years. I have never felt the lack of respect  with the way I handle them.  But this may not be the universal truth. 

Would you be happy honestly if your children took to drinking in front of you.. I mean on a regular basis. Or engaged in antisocial activities?

Yes change is the only permanent thing in life.  But change for the good, parents need to be involved in the change  of their children, we cannot absolve ourselves saying changes happen. 

Instill in them the values for life so that even in a changing world they adapt with their values intact. 

I agree that giving and receiving respect may not happen with all teachers and all youngsters , it depends on individuals . As far as consuming liquor is concerned, here in Mangalore we make wine at home and toddy tapping is done at my ancestral home so it is always there, the children dont get enamored by it. We all do have a glass or two of wine on occasions but none of us ,including my children drink on a regular basis and don't smoke at all. I feel being anti social is far worse and I could never tolerate that in my children or others .In fact, my children are very conscious about their civic duties and responsibilities and would never take a short cut . Having said that none of us is perfect and we can only learn from our past mistakes .

@Kalyani Nandurkar

Your explanation is truly meaningful. The teachers should satiate the quest of knowledge or else students will loose their interest which is never a positive sign. Well, it is not always that reservation is the criterion, sometimes it's the attitude of the teacher which  comes in between the students and the teacher. Some teachers are very arrogant and proud which never allow them to understand their student deeply. 

usha manohar wrote:

Sofs wrote:

usha manohar wrote:

Funnily enough I have never felt a lack of respect from the younger generation , only the interaction level has changed. My own children are not what I am to my mother because we were brought up with different values at a different period of time. when we all accept that change is the only permanent thing in life, we also have to accept that the younger generations are different to us, they are smarter and are more direct in their ways. In the olden days drinking liquor and smoking in front of your elders was considered disrespectful...not any more ! In fact I would be happier if it is done so, without any fear because we can always talk about it openly, may be even drive some sense into the youngsters as and when needed , IF they are willing to listen , that is ! LOL..

I work with underprivileged teens  have been doing so for years. I have never felt the lack of respect  with the way I handle them.  But this may not be the universal truth. 

Would you be happy honestly if your children took to drinking in front of you.. I mean on a regular basis. Or engaged in antisocial activities?

Yes change is the only permanent thing in life.  But change for the good, parents need to be involved in the change  of their children, we cannot absolve ourselves saying changes happen. 

Instill in them the values for life so that even in a changing world they adapt with their values intact. 

I agree that giving and receiving respect may not happen with all teachers and all youngsters , it depends on individuals . As far as consuming liquor is concerned, here in Mangalore we make wine at home and toddy tapping is done at my ancestral home so it is always there, the children dont get enamored by it. We all do have a glass or two of wine on occasions but none of us ,including my children drink on a regular basis and don't smoke at all. I feel being anti social is far worse and I could never tolerate that in my children or others .In fact, my children are very conscious about their civic duties and responsibilities and would never take a short cut . Having said that none of us is perfect and we can only learn from our past mistakes .

I cannot but appreciate your parenting and maintaining the  way you are dealing with your children. Without defining the limits, you made children know their relations.