Situation of dowry in India at present :: Your views

Dowry is evil. A father of daughter understand it better. It is new tradition, that when boy's family come for relation, they said that they have not any demand. but letter they begins to demands on the name of customs and riutals. Parents always wants that their daughter live happy after marriage so they try to do their best.

Dowry did not start as an evil system. The father of the daughter gave her share during wedding. Later on the patriarchal mindset of the society turned it into a social evil. I would say that it is deep rooted in the mindset of people and take a long time to go from our society. It is still there but has changed it's form. People still use indirect ways to take and give dowry. And many people take it as a pride to show off and offer huge dowry in name of gifts to their daughter. With such things going around in the society, it is still a long way for dowry to get fully eradicated from the society. 

Arunima Singh wrote:

Dowry did not start as an evil system. The father of the daughter gave her share during wedding. Later on the patriarchal mindset of the society turned it into a social evil. I would say that it is deep rooted in the mindset of people and take a long time to go from our society. It is still there but has changed it's form. People still use indirect ways to take and give dowry. And many people take it as a pride to show off and offer huge dowry in name of gifts to their daughter. With such things going around in the society, it is still a long way for dowry to get fully eradicated from the society. 

I am agree with you dowry did not start as evil but greedy peoples make it evil. Father love their daughters and they give her as mush possible for them. If parents give some without demands of grooms family than it is gift but if groom family present list of items than it is dowry.

@Arunima

You have rightly mentioned that dowry didn't begin as social practice. It is said that, since the bride is going to a new house initially she might be feeling shy to ask in laws for the things that she might need. So during marriage, parents try to provide her everything she might need. And thus began, the dowry system.

It is an evil practice but would take time to remove it. I feel that bride's family are also responsible for the continuation of this evil practice. Since, they try to fulfill every demand whenever the groom's family ask for anything, dowry practice are unlikely to be remove from the society.

I know a few girl who themselves want their parents to give them dowry.  I saw few cases where girl's family was very rich and had huge property because girl's father was good government official.  So in this case girl was interested to have dowry to live comfortable life. But due to this practice some people misuse this and keep asking money from girl's family after marriage even if the girl's family is not very rich.  In most cases the girl's family ends up paying money because they don't want to compromise with family life of their daughter. 

Arunima Singh wrote:

Dowry did not start as an evil system. The father of the daughter gave her share during wedding. Later on the patriarchal mindset of the society turned it into a social evil. I would say that it is deep rooted in the mindset of people and take a long time to go from our society. It is still there but has changed it's form. People still use indirect ways to take and give dowry. And many people take it as a pride to show off and offer huge dowry in name of gifts to their daughter. With such things going around in the society, it is still a long way for dowry to get fully eradicated from the society. 

True , and dowry system is there in many societies. Earlier since the son's inherited properties and wealth of their parents , daughters were given a fair share through dowry...of course like all other practices it has become evil over a period of time.

arjun sai wrote:

I know a few girl who themselves want their parents to give them dowry.  I saw few cases where girl's family was very rich and had huge property because girl's father was good government official.  So in this case girl was interested to have dowry to live comfortable life. But due to this practice some people misuse this and keep asking money from girl's family after marriage even if the girl's family is not very rich.  In most cases the girl's family ends up paying money because they don't want to compromise with family life of their daughter. 

We India are some more emotional. We want that our daughter live happy at any cost. So for it we accept all demands of grooms family. Law is in favor of girls family but it is my opinion that with help of law we can separate our daughter with honor and also get punished to grooms family. It is very hard to save marriage life of daughter with help of law. 

The system of dowry is very worst in our indian society. In india daughter are almost sold to someone. Daughter become burden on their parent. The system need to stop.

ASHA DEVI wrote:

The system of dowry is very worst in our indian society. In india daughter are almost sold to someone. Daughter become burden on their parent. The system need to stop.

Dowry system is evil but it is wrong that we sold daughters. We never take any thing for marriage of daughter. We give to boys. 

ASHA DEVI wrote:

The system of dowry is very worst in our indian society. In india daughter are almost sold to someone. Daughter become burden on their parent. The system need to stop.

It is a mindset that needs to be corrected ...why should parents even think that marriage is the only option left for a daughter ? Why not educate her and make her stand in her own two feet and marry when and if she is ready to do so , not because the so called society expects them to do so ! 

usha manohar wrote:

ASHA DEVI wrote:

The system of dowry is very worst in our indian society. In india daughter are almost sold to someone. Daughter become burden on their parent. The system need to stop.

It is a mindset that needs to be corrected ...why should parents even think that marriage is the only option left for a daughter ? Why not educate her and make her stand in her own two feet and marry when and if she is ready to do so , not because the so called society expects them to do so ! 

I am agree with you. It is opinion that we should be make our daughter able to earn exp. of her marriage. Instead of saving money for marriage for daughters, spend it on their education. I am not saying but also act upon it.  I married my one daughter on completion of her education and when she said yes for marriage. In these days I am getting many offers for my second daughter, she is preparing for RJS, so I am saying no to everyone.

I think it is only a people perspectives change that can change it more comfortably.

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

I completely agree Miss Shampa Sadhya, when a women empowers herself to be independent & take her decisions, things will change. Even now there are many protests being organized by the women in cases of Rape & I think possibly because of this POSCO Act could be enforced where a Non Bailable Arrest is executed case of Rape.

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

I am agree with you, in these daughters are not a cow to whom parents hand over to any one. But it is possible only in cities. More than 50% population is living in villages and there education level is not good one. Key of all problem of these type is education.

epraneeth77 wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

I completely agree Miss Shampa Sadhya, when a women empowers herself to be independent & take her decisions, things will change. Even now there are many protests being organized by the women in cases of Rape & I think possibly because of this POSCO Act could be enforced where a Non Bailable Arrest is executed case of Rape.

Well said but for it we must be first educate women. In rural are some seats of sarpanch reserved for women, but indeed their sarpach are their husbands, women are only rubber stamp. Do you listen post of Sarpanch pati.

anil wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

I am agree with you, in these daughters are not a cow to whom parents hand over to any one. But it is possible only in cities. More than 50% population is living in villages and there education level is not good one. Key of all problem of these type is education.

Education is the basic requirement for putting across one's opinion. That means, education has no alternative. It is a must which broadens thought process and widens its usage. Putting all my emphasis on education to empower oneself, I would also stress that surrounding and the experiences of people have the ability to educate the rest of the citizens. So, if girls desire then the dowry system can come to an end by rejecting the proposals of marriage by the dowry seeker.

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

anil wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

I am agree with you, in these daughters are not a cow to whom parents hand over to any one. But it is possible only in cities. More than 50% population is living in villages and there education level is not good one. Key of all problem of these type is education.

Education is the basic requirement for putting across one's opinion. That means, education has no alternative. It is a must which broadens thought process and widens its usage. Putting all my emphasis on education to empower oneself, I would also stress that surrounding and the experiences of people have the ability to educate the rest of the citizens. So, if girls desire then the dowry system can come to an end by rejecting the proposals of marriage by the dowry seeker.

Good thoughts but sad because they may end up remaining unmarried.Dowry is too deeply entrenched in India to go away with such simple steps.

MG Singh wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

anil wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

I am agree with you, in these daughters are not a cow to whom parents hand over to any one. But it is possible only in cities. More than 50% population is living in villages and there education level is not good one. Key of all problem of these type is education.

Education is the basic requirement for putting across one's opinion. That means, education has no alternative. It is a must which broadens thought process and widens its usage. Putting all my emphasis on education to empower oneself, I would also stress that surrounding and the experiences of people have the ability to educate the rest of the citizens. So, if girls desire then the dowry system can come to an end by rejecting the proposals of marriage by the dowry seeker.

Good thoughts but sad because they may end up remaining unmarried.Dowry is too deeply entrenched in India to go away with such simple steps.

Exactly sir, in many cases girls are also willing to take dowry from her parents because she wants to have good Bank balance etc. Many such girls are there right now in modern India they don't have much have much attachment to parents and call their parents as Budda and buddi. I have personally met such girls and I was shocked 

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

anil wrote:

Shampa Sadhya wrote:

The dowry system will continue and will keep on creating menace in the society until the marriageable daughter refuses to get married by giving dowry. Girls have to be strong and must not make marriage to be their ultimate choice. Once the girls decide to protest then life is bound to change for the better.      

I am agree with you, in these daughters are not a cow to whom parents hand over to any one. But it is possible only in cities. More than 50% population is living in villages and there education level is not good one. Key of all problem of these type is education.

Education is the basic requirement for putting across one's opinion. That means, education has no alternative. It is a must which broadens thought process and widens its usage. Putting all my emphasis on education to empower oneself, I would also stress that surrounding and the experiences of people have the ability to educate the rest of the citizens. So, if girls desire then the dowry system can come to an end by rejecting the proposals of marriage by the dowry seeker.

Girl can reject if she is self dependent. Some time I read in newspapers that some girls say no to marriage because dowry and misbehave of groom family. Some time some boy also refuse to accept gifts. These are very few cases but it is begning.