Does your order of birth play a major role in defining the person you are??

Let me start with my own  case.. Mine is a small family consisting of my parents and my younger sister and a younger brother. I'm the eldest. Being an elder of course, I became responsible. But not that responsible to look after my parents and my younger sister and brother. Because both my father and Mother were in Service until i was 16. Hence I did not have to bear all the Burden of my family. Even after my Parent's retirement, I never took the family's  full responsibility. I and my Parents used to work together in most of the family related works.

of course in some families, order of birth makes a difference especially after the death or retirement of the parents.

That has been case with many people I know. Though they take care of younger ones and feel responsible, they still enjoy the love and affection that they get from the elders.

It does to a great extent, the eldest child shoulders certain responsibilities automatically probably because of the conditioning that happens right from birth. One cannot disassociate oneself completely from the society , so it does have an impact on the mental make up and personality traits and this fact has been confirmed by behavioral psychologists ..

True. Taking responsibility of the younger ones is an experience some people relish. But in all families, parents themselves take charge. Some parents feel not to burden their children from a very young age. We hear often, parents saying, " are we not here"?

I totally agree with your points. So a lot depends on parenting. If Parents do a conscious parenting of sharing responsibility, decision making and other household chores among children irrespective of their order of birth, it will be helpful for all of them to develop their personality in right way. Moreover parents should avoid favourism and biases based on order of birth, which comes out naturally and unconsciously.

Right parenting does the Magic. I agree with you that parents should avoid favoritism and authority. In such case rivalry between the siblings becomes imminent and it remains through out the life of the children.

yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)

That is really sad Kalyani, but it was probably unintentional. Most parent tend to treat each child differently because one realises that their needs are different..another fact , a seemingly self sufficient child  gets ignored to a certain extent, which is not fair 

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)

I have heard that from many of my friends who were the middle one. They felt that they were ignored as the parents were busy with younger ones and older ones were independent. But from a parents viewpoint, they loved all equally but the lack of skill took the toll and it was not conveyed properly. But without doubt, it is unintentional.

I have friends in middle order who complain that they were forced to call their elder siblings with respect which they disliked. Many a times they were directed to elder siblings by their parent who was busy with handling younger one. So many of their issues were not properly resolved as they were sent to elder siblings and they were not so mature and skilled to resolve it well. These incidences cause a lot  of grief in the child and when he/she becomes adult as our childhood stays with us forever

I'm the eldest. I have one sister next me and  and the youngest is a  brother. In my house.  As long as my parents were alive who lived up to the ripe age of 80, I never faced any problems. After that all my siblings grown up and they looked after themselves.  So, being the eldest. Order of birth did not affect me.

I am the youngest one among six children and that's not all I am the youngest one even if my cousins are included. I have spent almost thirty years of my life in a big joint family and it was a pleasure. Being the youngest I was free from taking any financial responsibility but my parents and guardians were very particular about infusing the basic responsibilities in me. Naturally, I learnt  how to  take care of family members when they were ill, taught to share the day to day household duties, understood the importance of sharing not just the goodies but the pains of others and that helped me to manage my house relatively quite easily after my marriage. Thus, I feel order of birth may take a toll in some families regarding monetary issues but it all depends upon the parents and guardians, how they handle the children. If young ones are given all freedom then they will never learn any duty which is pathetic and for this the elderly family members are mostly responsible.

Arunima Singh wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)

I have heard that from many of my friends who were the middle one. They felt that they were ignored as the parents were busy with younger ones and older ones were independent. But from a parents viewpoint, they loved all equally but the lack of skill took the toll and it was not conveyed properly. But without doubt, it is unintentional.

I have friends in middle order who complain that they were forced to call their elder siblings with respect which they disliked. Many a times they were directed to elder siblings by their parent who was busy with handling younger one. So many of their issues were not properly resolved as they were sent to elder siblings and they were not so mature and skilled to resolve it well. These incidences cause a lot  of grief in the child and when he/she becomes adult as our childhood stays with us forever

Exactly, it is the same story with middle siblings everywhere. Although like Usha has said, it was unintentional, It did got me upset on multiple occasions. Of course, now as an adult I have gotten over that and understand now why it happened so I can just take it with a pinch of salt and let it go!

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

Arunima Singh wrote:

Kalyani Nandurkar wrote:

yes, the order totally shapes and affects a person's personality. As for me, I was the middle one, so was almost always ignored to a lot of extent, It is even now a cause of grief for me! :)

I have heard that from many of my friends who were the middle one. They felt that they were ignored as the parents were busy with younger ones and older ones were independent. But from a parents viewpoint, they loved all equally but the lack of skill took the toll and it was not conveyed properly. But without doubt, it is unintentional.

I have friends in middle order who complain that they were forced to call their elder siblings with respect which they disliked. Many a times they were directed to elder siblings by their parent who was busy with handling younger one. So many of their issues were not properly resolved as they were sent to elder siblings and they were not so mature and skilled to resolve it well. These incidences cause a lot  of grief in the child and when he/she becomes adult as our childhood stays with us forever

Exactly, it is the same story with middle siblings everywhere. Although like Usha has said, it was unintentional, It did got me upset on multiple occasions. Of course, now as an adult I have gotten over that and understand now why it happened so I can just take it with a pinch of salt and let it go!

In many ways I feel that even the eldest child suffers in some ways because parents expect the eldest child esp a daughter take on all the burden including looking after the younger sisters and brothers > i am the eldest in my family and although my mother was balanced I still was made aware of the fact that being the eldest I had to be more responsible. I feel even this is unfair because in many households they are not even allowed to enjoy themselves in the company of friends .

I even feel that elder siblings have more pressure to perform as they are always reminded that the younger ones are watching them and they should be a guide and role model for younger ones. 

An article I came across on the subject which seems to be quote true as far as my own self and my children are concerned..

http://www.organichealthuniverse.com/2016/08/21/birthday-order-determines-personality/

usha manohar wrote:

An article I came across on the subject which seems to be quote true as far as my own self and my children are concerned..

http://www.organichealthuniverse.com/2016/08/21/birthday-order-determines-personality/

Nice! very true for most of the cases that I have talked to or witnessed. Thanks for sharing

For me order of birth is not important. It depends on person how he/she like to assume responsibilty. I have one elder brother and one younger sister. But is my house I enjoy all rights of a elder one because I am more active that my elder one. I was senior in collage of my brother and I am also got married prior to my elder brother. 

Of course there are bond to be exceptions and depending on the circumstances ,one can always mould oneself differently. I have seen some households where the youngest child is the most responsible person managing the entire household. What is being discussed is here is what could and does happen in most households..

The elders definitely are expected to take greater responsibilities than the youngers. And they are taught that at an early age. For instance when they go out for playing together if they are not accompanied by an elder, the eldest sibling is told to take care of the youngers. Likewise the younger siblings are pampered by everyone around them including their elder siblings.

I was the eldest in the Family. Normally eldest son takes the responsibilities of running the family. I took the responsibility. The things went on normally until I attained the age 16. It was then, I was affected by Glaucoma any eye related problem. It was then, My younger sister, though she was married and living in Hyderabad took me  to Hyderabad and got my eyes operated. Hence it all depends on the circumstances. Order of Birth may  or may not play a role in defining the the person you are.