In India, we have various assumptions about social institutions.  We are also biased in our opinions, and the younger generation, which is now between 15 and 25 years old, think it is their birth right to virtually dismiss anything that is good, and time tested, as "old fashioned".  They tend to think that only Facebook, and Twitter and Whats up can save them and take them to their own version of Nirvana.

In reality, nothing can be further from truth.  It is extremely sad that the aforesaid problem is slowly spreading to even the tier 2 and tier 3 cities and the rural areas as well.  This tendency to run down and actually make fun of an important social institution -- the done and dusted Joint Family -- is extremely sad and deplorable. 

As one who has lived in Tamil Nadu for most of my life, I have experienced at first hand, all the good things about the Joint Family System.  In a Joint Family, contrary to all public perception, there is a huge amount of caring and sharing.  There is an increasingly good tolerance for ambiguity, and for hard ship -- big or small. There is fun, there is a lot of affection shown by the elders, and the youngsters learn to respect the elders and their opinion. There will be differences of opinion,  but these get sort of automatically sorted out.  

From a practical point of view, such Joint Families are rare.  Yet, at least once in a year, it is wise to gather all members of the family for a period of one week, cook together, eat together, worship together, and also care and share.  The follow up of such intimate relationships can continue through email, or chatting over cell phone.  But there is nothing like face to face interaction, and fun and frolic.  In fact, this is exactly what happens to many families.  Brothers and sisters and their children get back to their native place, where the parents normally live.  Sometimes, the ancestral house is left to some care taker, who takes care of the maintenance, and also maintains the farms and lands of the family.

So, it is all fun and frolic and enjoyment of a tall order.  Very often, the big bang get together happens for a week or ten days.  However, the children stay behind for the entire duration of the summer holidays, in an environment which is close to nature.  Thanks to internet connectivity, the children get to enjoy the rural life, and also stay connected with friends in other places.  This happens in most Southern districts of Tamil Nadu, where families have very good values that are cherished for generations. 

The Joint Family System is a fine social institution.  At least once in a year, it is but essential that members of the same family, who live and work in different places, get together not only in their native places but in some other common place as well.

This becomes all the more essential, as we are now seeing the great cracks in the nuclear families as well.  If children of most nuclear families, where the man and his wife are both employed, grow up under the care of the servant maids  for a longer period of time, it is entirely possible that the next generation will never get to know their cousin brothers or sisters, and never have any positive feelings or emotions for the elders and so on.

It should be noted that this is already happening.  If the present trend continues, the urban centers of India, will have an entire generation rooted in total commercial values.  Money becomes the most important thing in life, and the parents would have actually fed this lesson, even in unconsciously.

Money is important indeed, but it cannot buy everything in life.  Money cannot and should not, buy happiness.  For even if it does, such happiness will be very meaningless, and will never have any positive emotion or feeling in it.

In fact, it has been proved again and again that only men and women who hail from good families and have good values, grow into mature and emotionally mature individuals, who will be ever willing to give maximum importance to emotions and feelings of others.  Some sort of a get together, at least once in a year, is a must.  We ought to realize that going the Western way is really happening so fast in our families, and much sooner than what we think, understand or even feel, as a reality.

The big rat race is on.  It is stupid to argue that we should not be part of this rat race.  Yet, this rat race should also make us level headed.  It should make us more mature, more engaged with members of our families, with relatives on both the sides of the father and mother and also with the wider society in which we live in. 

Our children ought to understand that money is important indeed, but values are important too.  There is no better social institution than the joint family to inculcate these values in children at a very young age.  

If the parents are not dumped into old age homes, and stay on with their sons and daughters, there can be a big change.  In fact, the old people often take care of the house so well, that the younger generation of sons and daughters get to spend some quality time with their children, and the children also learn quite a lot from the older people. This sort of mini Joint Family is still a very important aspect of Indian families.  However, the rapid growth of the old age home business is a big worry indeed.  Of course, the charitable institutions are doing some work to help the old people in some big way.

As Indians, we should not mock at the social institutions like the Joint Family.  We should try to keep it intact, at least to the extent possible.  Only if we do this, we can rest assured that the next generation will have to fall back, in terms of an emotional social structure.  There is an urgent need to get this done, in a very big way.

My childhood as I remember was the most amazing and beautiful time of my life the memories of which I will cherish forever. When I look back now I feel that every day of my childhood was a new beginning and I had no regrets. 

We all love children. Their physical appearances, their playfulness, their mischievousness, everything appeals to us. But more than that, it is the innocence of their age that attracts us. Now when I look at a child or even my own child I remember the good old days that I had or rather the days that I have lost. 

Children are unique. They have this very rare quality to easily forget their pain and love and trust people without judging them. They do not hold any preconceived notion against anyone. Their minds are simple and transparent and not tainted with ill thoughts and complications. Their minds are not corrupted. They are carefree and not conscious of their surroundings. They react immediately without thinking much and does not care about the outcome. Their words are not sugarcoated. Their ability to believe in everything makes their world even more interesting. Their imagination can transport them to different worlds where dungeons, dragons, fairies, and monsters exist. They believe in Santa Claus and tooth fairies. They live in a world of imagination where they can create anything.

It is this innocence that we lose over time or as we grow older. We come closer to reality and gradually our own world of imagination loses its existence. Our life becomes much more complex and we become more closer to the practical aspects of our lives. We often fail to see what a child can easily perceive. Our minds are clouded with our own thoughts and limitations. We lose our ability to believe on the mysteries of nature.

But how do we revive this vitality and purity of childlike innocence that we once had in our lives? Well through our own children. Those of us who are now parents will understand what I am trying to say. The giggle and laughter of our children brings out the child in us. The amusement and surprise in their eyes when we throw up a birthday party brings the same amount of joy in us that we once used to have as a child. When we grow up our memories fade away. Memories can be captured in photographs and videos. 

Children are our gateway to innocence. Try to live through the eyes and life of your child. I see the world through the eyes of my child. Sometimes I get captivated by the innocence, spontaneity, and mystery of his world. How unique and peaceful it is. Children are the most precious gift in our lives. They fill our hearts with the purest form of love. It is this unconditional love of our children that keeps us going. They inspire us. 

I believe that childhood innocence is never lost permanently, but they remain hidden under the layers of our own experiences and complications of our minds as years passes by. We need to revive that. Proper documentation of childhood photographs and videos would help us to remember those good old days. Try to live life and see through the eyes of children. Enjoy every moment with your child. Relive your childhood with your own child. Experience their joy and wonders. I enjoy so much hearing them making up stories. I look forward to every new day of my life when my child hugs me tight and says the four little words "I love you mamma". It is the most gratifying moment when my heart is filled with pure joy and love. It is these small moments which lights up my day and encourages me to take up new challenges in life.

The Japanese have been credited with tremendous progress in their economic affairs.  There are many reasons attributed to such success  -- visionary leadership, their emphasis on technology, and so on.  While each of these things are indeed very important, there is one very important aspect of their social life that deserves all the attention -- self-discipline.

Self-discipline spells class at any point in time.  Self-discipline is always highly infectious, and it envelops the collective consciousness of each and every individual, as a culture, as a way of life.

Back home in India, it is this lack of self-discipline, that is the cause of many social problems.  It is solely responsible for making all public places very dirty, our railway stations very dirty, and for every single incident of violence against women.  There has been a total decline in values, but the most important one is that of self-discipline.

Inculcating self-discipline is no rocket science.  In many families, children are taught to wash their own clothes, clean up any dust in their homes, keep their books clean, and give respect to others.  They are taught how to control anger, as well as become very religious, in terms of understanding the various cultural norms and religious mantras that have to be done.  Once all this happens, such individuals also develop a good taste for life and live life the way it should be lived.  

So, the actual teaching of such self-discipline should start very early, in homes and in schools.  Demonstration of good values also helps to build self-discipline.  For instance, if the teacher is himself very disciplined, comes on time, does his teaching on time, and takes a real interest in the welfare of all students, it is very likely that students will hold him in very high respect and start being disciplined themselves.

Self-discipline can also be inculcated, only when there are no bad habits in individuals.  It is becoming increasingly clear that those who are addicted to smoking or drinking or to drugs are the worst offenders of discipline.  They can never be trusted for any work.  They should never be entrusted with any big family responsibility.  

There are ways and means in which such bad habits can be given a decent burial, if only the parents and wives of such individuals, take personal interest.  For instance, there have been many counselors, who have played a very big role in reforming drug addicts and smokers.  There are rehabilitation clinics where reform of such individuals is done systematically.  Those having the bad habits should be given a dose of medicine in such places, and once this is done, they will be reformed.

Only good habits can lead to self-discipline, which can lead to very good work as well.  In fact, this is increasingly seen in public life as well.  For example, a new breed of social entrepreneurs have sprung up in the cities.  These are people who have given up the best of highly paid corporate jobs, to take up social entrepreneurship.  They have set up vocational training centers for destitute women, they have set up Non governmental organizations that have in turn lead to a huge number of self-help groups, of semi-literate or even illiterate women.  Some Government support is also given.

In Tamil Nadu, there are a huge number of self-help groups, that are now into financially viable social ventures.  These ventures have helped them to cross many milestones and are instrumental in thousands of families coming out of the poverty line, very quickly.  In particular, they are very active in the catering sector.  Small hotels have sprung up in several towns.  These cater to the lower middle class people, as they offer food items at fairly cheap prices.  The women involved meet all their expenses and are able to have good food three times a day, and also divide the profit among themselves. 

So, self-discipline can lead to a huge number of good socially relevant initiatives as well.  For example, it has been observed that in many cities, the waste generated is not dumped on the streets, but is put into neat plastic covers, daily taken to centers where the plastic waste is taken for recycling and the other waste is converted into manure.

Social customs, that have a huge base in religious practices can also help a great deal.  For instance, in Tamil Nadu,there are thousands of temples in which an annual festival is conducted, normally in the month of May, every year.  This festival transforms itself into a huge social gathering, where people of all castes and communities get together.  Huge amounts of money flow through voluntary contributions, and a huge amount of food is cooked and distributed free to the people who worship the deity on those days.  There is a big emphasis on self-discipline, and the participation of women is huge.  This is one event that many thousands of people, look forward to, every year.

Hence, a participatory design to involve people at all levels, can indeed help people inculcate self-discipline as a way of life.  In fact, it is commonly seen that self-discipline is more among rural people, than among the urban people.  People are used to cut corners, more in urban centers.  Yet, there are exceptions too.  For example, Mumbai is one city where thousands will stand in ques, waiting to board their buses.  The auto drivers are very honest too.  In many other cities, it is a free- for- all scenario at most bus stops and auto drivers are not only very rude, they also abuse any one who dares to question them.

As a nation, we cannot neglect self-discipline.  If we attempt something at a national level, the results will be good.  We really need to do something as far as self-discipline is concerned.  If there is self-discipline, many other good things will follow, at any point in time.  

India is said to be one of the fastest growing nations in the world.  Our economy is poised to grow to the greatest levels, at even eight percent, accordingly to some experts.  While GDP growth is good for the country, as a whole, individuals and families are facing the toughest test ever, in their lives, in as many as twenty years or more -- record inflation, particularly of food items.

Since the petrol prices are increasing day after day in the international market, the Government claims that subsidies on petrol products cannot work anymore.  Petrol prices have virtually gone through the roof, though the traffic congestion on roads has not decreased.

It is in this scenario that we need to understand how to cut costs to the maximum extent in our family life. In fact, this will help us to save some money for the future, which will help us in times of need, particularly when we start getting old, and are over fifty years old.

This is exactly why we always need savings with a twenty or twenty five years span.

Not, let us focus on cost cutting.

As far as vegetarians are concerned, it is but essential that families realize that it is important to cut costs on all items of expenditure.  What is healthy and also available cheap should be consumed more.  For example, the greens ( called palak in Hindi) are very good and are available for comparatively lesser prices.  If a family consumes this three times a week, the expenditure on  vegetables can come down.  Switching over to wheat based products is also a solution, more so, for dinner.

Similarly, the non-vegetarian people should limit their intake of meat to just once a month.  Once this is done, there will be substantial savings, which one can easily observe.

Even those who have cars, should limit their usage, and go by bus or other much cheaper public transport, as this can easily cut down expenditure on petrol, which is one of the costliest in all middle-class families.

A big expenditure that can be easily cut is the "eating out" on weekends, limiting this to just once a month.  Actually, one is forced to spend on this rather wasteful expenditure, mostly, as a means to be in the rat race, or to just show off. Remember, we are masters of our own destinies.  When we are in trouble, none will help us.  On the contrary, they will simply mock at us.

We can indeed attend many marriages, but presentations should be within our limits.  Those relatives and friends, with whom we have very good relationships, will not look for grand presents from us.  They will just look for our caring and affection at all times.

A particular item of expenditure that can be really avoided is seeing the horrible movies in theaters at enormous cost.  Why should we do this when we can see them on television after some time? 

Many middle class families spend huge amounts on "fashionable clothes" and grooming, including visits to the spa or beauty parlors or both.  Why should this be done at all?  One is really surprised to find those who are above 65 years, doing all this.  This is a really wasteful expenditure, particularly when one is 40 years or more.

Only when we account for each expenditure, we can understand where we can cut down expenditure, and how.  In fact, a very accurate appraisal of all costs will help us to zero in on any item that can be minimized or done away with.

We should remember that we live our lives for ourselves and our families.  The future will be horrible if we do not have adequate money.  For example, by the 2022, even assuming that there are no other financial commitments, a very ordinary middle-class family, with pure vegetarian food habits, will need at least eighteen thousand per month, for food, and all other basic amenities.  For instance, the air-conditioners are now becoming necessities in summer.  No one can live within the house, without at least one AC.

So, unless we save some money and pump that into a recurring deposit, we will not be able to manage at that point in time.  We should make savings our habit, after we cut down on our wasteful expenditure. 

Let us not have any illusion that inflation will come down.  It will not.  The cost of all food items will go through the roof.  So will costs of education, transport, and entertainment.  Nothing will be cheap.

The only way is to cut down on costs, and we need to be very systematic in this, if we can live a bit comfortably in future.  Let us learn to cut down costs as a way of life